Category Archives: Live Love Laugh

‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio


On Tuesday January 8th,  we welcome Dr. Richard Wagner, M.Div., Ph.D., ACS to our show Be A Healthy Caregiver!  Out of Seattle, WA., Dr. Wagner is a psychotherapist/clinical sexologist and has been in private practice since 1981.

Dr. Wagner has been working with the terminally ill, chronically ill elder and dying people in hospitals, hospice and home settings for over thirty years.

We will be chatting about Dr. Wagner’s work and his book The Amateur’s Guide to Death and Dying: enhancing the End of Life.  As Caregivers, we are often dealing with issues surrounding life and death.  Our conversation will be upbeat, real and with a touch of spirituality.

To learn more about Dr. Wagner, click here.

To purchase Dr. Wagner’s books, click here.

To Listen to  Dr. Wagner on ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on  Blog Talk Radio click here

heart

Our show is available live or archived online for your convenience.

To access all our ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ episodes on blogtalkradiologo

Simply click here

3 Comments

Filed under Be A Healthy Caregiver, Blog Talk Radio, Bow Tie Guy, Caregiving, Hospice, Life after Death, Live Love Laugh

Caregivers and Carees: Cherish Every Day!


 It is our hope that lets us withstand problems:

It is our beliefs that let us find solutions.

 

TLOCJM

Christmas Eve 2012

Yesterday is gone…

We Celebrate today…

We Hope For Tomorrow! 

No Matter how difficult your Caregiving experience might be…

Cherish every day!

Your love and support inspires us!

img_19122012_204936

 

Leave a Comment

Filed under advocacy, Advocate, Be A Healthy Caregiver, Bow Tie Guy, Caregiving, Live Love Laugh, Unconditional Love

What Is The Best Thing For Me, The Caregiver?


TLO The Original Blueberry Pancake

TLO The Original Blueberry Pancake

While making Blueberry Pancakes  recently for ‘The Little One,’ I was reminded of a blog post that I wrote last year right after he completed his round of radiation and chemotherapy treatments.  I wrote this post titled ‘The Tumor Extractor’ for just $19.99!   This is one of my very first blog post  (which is copied below)  where I  reflected on how  hope, love, support and care are the real tumor extractors as well as how humor can play an important role in the recovery process, too.  Now more than one year past the original post,  I took a second look at was written and  I am  amazed at what (still) applies today.  Now I take it one step further, as caregivers, we need to apply these same feelings and emotions to ourselves too!  I have to look myself square in the eye on this one!

Dr. Starcevic with 'The Little One'

Dr. Starcevic with ‘The Little One’

Many of the decisions that we made over the past year or so have been centered around what was best for ‘TLO.’  As Caregivers, we know that decisions are often based on what is best for the Caree and for the most part, we’re OK with it. Yet how often do we as Caregivers say…’What is the best thing for me, the Caregiver? 

It is easy to get lost in the  Caregiving experience and lose sight of self.  I’ve been there!  Trying to regroup in the midst of Caregiving and express  my own needs is by no means an easy task.  For me, expressing my own needs can be scary, well…actually it is scary.  Is it a sign of weakness, or failure or the messiah complex.  Or am I just a rut?   The bottom line is simple, when you put someone else’s needs ahead of your own, you lose sight of self.   It happens before you know it.  The signs are obvious to everyone, yet camouflage to self.

These are some of the critical signs that caregivers need to be aware of  in relation to our own health and well-being. 

I get a gold star: I score high on all five traits!  

Photo Credit: Dr. Wayne Dyer

Photo Credit: Dr. Wayne Dyer

I have been conscious of these issues for quite some time, yet have been immobilized to act on it.   I don’t know why, I just know that it has happened. Over the past number of weeks, ‘TLO’ has been asking me to make an appointment to see my doctor.   “You need to take better care of yourself,’ he demanded!   He has recognized ‘the signs’, inspired me to do something about it,  and finally I acted on it.

The trip to the doctor’s office was not without anxiety.  I had not seen Dr. Scalia since I left Fort Lauderdale in 2007 and much has changed since then. Going in, I knew he would ‘get-it’ as  Dr. Scalia was on the team of Doctors who took care of Father Orlando, so there was immediate comfort and recognition.

Healthy Living is for everyone!

Healthy Living is for everyone!

Yet at the same time, there was quite a bit of reflection on Father Orlando as Dr. Scalia was the attending physician leading up to his transition in 2006.    When he entered the room, I was greeted with a warm smile…There was no need to hold back, he could see the expression on my face.   We talked openly and honestly; it felt great to have someone totally focused on my needs.   He did the battery of tests; EKG was normal, blood pressure normal: the blood work results and follow-up will be later in December.   All the same concerns that I demonstrate for ‘TLO’ are the same concerns that both Dr. Scalia and ‘TLO’ expressed for me.  That’s not a bad thing!

‘To Be A Healthy Caregiver’  does not mean just taking care of your Caree, it caregivinglogomeans taking care of yourself, too.  I’ve taken the first steps and now need to follow through with a Care Plan for myself.  The best  Care Plan available to me is through Caregiving.com.   Denise Brown from Carigiving.com offers a care plan that  focuses on WELL:

Wisdom comes from being attentive, grateful and curious.

Energy comes from my food, my exercise and my physical, mental, spiritual and emotional breaks.

Laughter comes from within myself, from my relationships and from my entertainment.

Love comes from within myself, from my relationships and from my passions,

However, the best care plan will be for not if you don’t use it!

  • I encourage you to visit’s Caregiving.com by simply clicking here to…lots of great information…lots of great people too!

I often forget that my biggest supporter is the one who I care for because he knows me better than anyone else.  By going to the doctor and implementing my care plan through Caregiving.com , I can take better care of myself.  Not every day is a ‘Blueberry Pancake’ Day.  Caring for someone who has a chronic illness is not for the faint of heart.  As caregivers, caring-for-caregiverit is essential that we to  apply  Love, Hope, Support and Care in relation to our needs too.  

If I am going to be a provider of  Love, Hope, Support and Care… Shouldn’t I be a receiver too?  Yet in order to receive, you have to be open and recognize your own personal needs.   For me, looking internally and owning my own feelings and emotions,  then expressing those emotions and feelings will not only make me healthier, it will make be a better caregiver, too!

Below is my post from November 6th, 2011…Thanks for reading it again!

We have all seen those gadgets that they sell on TV… It seems that all those gadgets sell for just $19.99 and better yet, all these gadgets are a must need for every household! As I was preparing waffles for breakfast this morning I came across a new product called ‘The Tumor Extractor’

20111106-082755.jpg

‘The Tumor Extractor’

Simply apply to the area of the tumor and all your troubles will be gone!

‘The Little One’ and I enjoyed a great laugh when I presented him with our new ‘Tumor Extractor’ and just think…we only spent $10,000 on chemo and radiation and could have had this gadget for $19.99! (Of course Monty Python’s Spamalot is playing in the background.) Every cancer patient and caregiver wishes there was something as quick and simple as ‘The Tumor Extractor’ to remove cancer from the body. But what is available to every cancer patient and caregiver is hope, love, support and humor. That is the true Cancer Extractor! While each one of us deals with the reality of cancer in a different way, we want to look on the bright side of life! Yesterday is gone, today is here, not sure about tomorrow. Today we are enjoying our new ‘Tumor Extractor’ even if it will only help us make waffles. It is our hope that lets us withstand stand problems…but it is our beliefs that lets us find solutions.   And remember… ‘Always look on the bright side of life!’

You See…We Might Have Cancer…But Cancer Does Not Have Us! 
Related articles

 

9 Comments

Filed under advocacy, Advocate, Bow Tie Guy, caregiver, Caregiving, Gay Caregiving, LGBT Caregiving, LGBT Couples, LGBT Seniors, Live Love Laugh, oncology

Happy Thanks-Caregiving


 

We are thankful for those who are Caregivers today, those  who will be Caregivers tomorrow and especially those who have been Caregivers in the past.

 

We share in our Caregiving Journey with each other in a special way, knowing that while our roads might be different, our paths are filled with comfort and joy from the support we receive from each other!

From our Caregiving Journey to yours…Happy Thanksgiving from                  ’The Purple Jacket‘ and The Bow Tie Guys’

 

 

‘The Bow-Tie-Guys’

Remember…We Might Have Cancer...

But Cancer Does Not Have Us! 

 

 

 

10 Comments

Filed under advocacy, Advocate, LGBT Caregiving, LGBT Couples, LGBT Seniors, Live Love Laugh

Be A Healthy Caregiver on Blog Talk Radio


Today on ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on  Blog Talk Radio, we had a great conversation with Nancy Allegrezza, RN, Director of Marketing with Telikin Computers.  Telikin is the easy to use, all in one, touchscreen computer designed with seniors in mind. Some seniors have never become familiar with computer technology and may be intimidated by it.  Telikin helps reduce those fears. To listen to our show, click here. (Please pardon the technological problems at the start of the show)

For information on how to purchase a Telikin Computer, please click the icon below.

Join us next Tuesday, November 20th  at 1:00pm (est) for another session on ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ with our guest, Fr. Larry Richardt who is a retired Catholic Priest and Spiritual Director  who also acts as a caregiver for his 95-year-old mother.  Our conversation will focus on how developing a healthy spirituality can play  an important role in being a Healthy Caregiver.   Our November 20th show can be accessed by clicking here.

You see…We Might have Cancer, but Cancer Does Not have us! 

Leave a Comment

Filed under advocacy, Advocate, Blog Talk Radio, Bow Tie Guy, Live Love Laugh, Senior Health, Spirituality

Caregiver Burnout: 9 Ways to Avoid It


In celebration of National Caregiver’s Month, I would like to welcome Hannah Munson as our guest blogger to ‘The Purple Jacket” today.  Hannah is a recent Social Worker graduate who interned for two years as a caregiver in the Metro Detroit  area provides us with some gentle reminders  on how to avoid Caregiver Burnout.

While reading Hannah’s  terrific post, I am reminded that in order to ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’, we have to take good care of ourselves, too!   Thanks Hannah for your contribution today!

Caregiver Burnout: 9 Ways to Avoid It

Caregivers are the kind of people whose profession warrants them to take care of people who are no longer capable of doing it for their selves. However, we must not forget that caregivers are also human beings who also have their own bodies which also need to be taken care of.  Every caregiver has to see to it that he or she is always in a good working condition.  But, if there are times when he or she begins to experience burnout something must be done right away.  The following are some of the ways to avoid burnout:

1.      Do not keep everything to yourself.

If you feel like you need someone else who understands your predicament as a caregiver, might as well join a support group.  These groups will enable you to express your anxiety, predicament and other problems without the fear of being unfairly judged.

2.     Take some time off.

Caregivers must be proactive in telling their superiors that they badly need some time off for themselves.  They should not wait for their supervisors to notice their being stressed out before they request for a time-off.

3.     Eat nutritious foods.

This would mean that you should not just eat anything that you want.  See to it that you are eating foods that will help you become healthy enough to take care of your patients or somebody else.

4.     Have enough sleep.

Even if your occupation requires you to work on a graveyard shift, this should not be reason enough for you to deprive yourself of enough sleep.  Always find time to have enough sleep to recharge your senses and your entire body.

5.     Exercise regularly.

Exercise is one of the most effective ways to prevent burn out.  When you take the time to exercise on a regular basis you will always have the chance to unwind. Get focused on your exercise and you will be relieved from stress and anxiety.

6.     Find time for your favorite hobby.

Burn out is usually caused by too much exposure to highly stressful situations.  One way to relax is to have time for your favorite hobby.  Read if you must or indulge in your favorite sports.

7.     Be informed.

Sometimes, caregivers experience stress, anxiety or that burn out feeling when they need to take care of a patient who has serious medical condition.  Read and search the internet for more information regarding your patient’s condition.  This way, you will become better equipped with knowledge on how to deal with your patient.

8.    Express yourself.

Some caregivers would prefer to keep their sentiments to themselves because they are too shy to share it with others.  Call a trusted friend with whom you can express your feelings. Letting out your emotions will prove to be one great way to relieve yourself.

9.     Take time to meditate.

You do not have to go to the gym or to a Yoga class in order to have time to meditate.  Just look for a quiet room in your house where you can sit comfortably and concentrate.  Meditation allows you to relax and become more focused on your goals and not on the negative things that are happening in your life.

This was a post written by Hannah M.  She runs the website ‘How Much Is It’.  You can access her website by clicking here.   “How Much Is It” a large resource that helps you find the cost on just about anything.  Please, Check it out!

If you are interested in being a guest blogger on ‘The Purple Jacket” please send me an email by clicking here 

 ’We Might Have Cancer…

But Cancer Does Not Have Us!’

7 Comments

Filed under advocacy, Advocate, Bow Tie Guy, caregiver, Caregiving, Health, Live Love Laugh, Looking into the future

Be A Healthy Caregiver On Blog Talk Radio Tuesday at 1:00 pm


Join us on Tuesday November 6th at 1:00 pm for   ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on ‘Blog Talk Radio‘  with our special  guest Michael Norfeet, Program Director of the Noble A. McArtor Adult Day Care Center in Fort Lauderdale, FL.

Respite care is essential in the equation on how to Be a Healthy Caregiver. Participation in Adult Day Care often prevents re-hospitalization and and may delay admission to residential long term care.  For participants who would otherwise stay at home alone, the social stimulation  and recreational activities may improve or maintain physical or cognitive functions. For Caregivers, Adutl Day Care Center provides respite care, enabling caregivers to work or have a break from their Caregiving responsibilities.

Join us on Tuesday November 6th at 1:00 pm for ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio by clicking here

3 Comments

Filed under advocacy, Advocate, Blog Talk Radio, Bow Tie, Bow Tie Guy, caregiver, Caregiving, Gay Caregiving, Health, LGBT Caregiving, LGBT Couples, Live Love Laugh

Be A Healthy Caregiver on Blog Talk Radio


 

Join  Chris MacLellan ‘The Bow Tie Guy’ on Tuesday at 1:00pm (est) for ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio  with  special guest Patrick Cavanaugh from Broward County Elderly and Veterans Services in Broward County Florida

 

 

 

 

Substance abuse is an issue that is not often discussed as it relates to our senior community.  Join us for a friendly conversation with Patrick  Cavanaugh with Broward County Elderly and Veterans Services Prevention Program as we discuss substance abuse issues relating to seniors and caregivers.

 

The Prevention Program activities are directed at older adults 55 years and older. Some are provided to at-risk elders, primarily those experiencing mental health and/or emotional problems, caregivers and the general public. Mr. Cavanaugh interacts and/or provides direct services to older adults in an effort to comprehensively address older adult substance abuse in an integrated manner. Over one thousand consumers per year participate in these services.

 

You’ll enjoy Mr. Cavanagh’s upbeat and positive attitude, this is someone who really enjoys his work!

 

Click here to join the show scheduled for Tuesday October 30th at 1:00pm

 

 

1 Comment

Filed under Blog Talk Radio, caregiver, Caregiving, Intergenerational, Live Love Laugh, Unconditional Love

“I’m between 81 and Death!”


If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
Mahatma Gandhi

We are three weeks into our FitPass program with Caregiving.com and the group is progressing along just fine. There are so many reasons why we put on weight; stress, poor choices, not seeing food as fuel is just a few of the topics that come up during our FitPass discussions on Monday night. While I have a long way to go in order to sort out why I have put on weight, I am pleased with the loss of 8lbs since we’ve started this program.

It just so happened that the ‘The Little One‘ had his own discussion on health and fitness with a nurse who came to visit him on Monday in our home. This visit was a courtesy of one of the many programs that his insurance plan has for him in Florida. (Hence another reason to be here full-time) While I missed the visit today, I certainly heard about it during our dinner conversation.

“I was given all these instructions on what I should be eating and how I should be eating. While I appreciated the concern and the information I was given, I just looked at her and said...I’m between 81 and death, at this point in my life and what I have been through this past year, what difference does it really make what I eat?” I’m sure he said this in a polite tone.

I mentioned ‘The Little One’s conversation this evening during our FitPass conference call and made the comment, “I’m the one who should have had that conversation today as it is my eating habits and fitness that is out of whack.”

The common denominator here is simple, it is about the perception of one’s quality of life.

‘The Little One’ can never be accused of not having a realistic view of his condition. Yesterday is gone — today is here — not sure about tomorrow. He has admirably lived by this motto for quite some time now. (Remember, he was given 3-4 months to live last October!) Like many people who are diagnosed with a life threatening illness, it’s not uncommon for a conversation to take place about Quality of Life. Quality of Life will have a different meaning for each one each of us. ‘The Little One’ has outlived everyone’s expectations; he is cognizant of what quality of life means to him. Who is it for anyone else to argue with him on this point? At this time in his life, eating one less scoop of ice cream or having one less helping of milk chocolate raisins is not going to do anything for him other than deprive him of a pleasure. I’d say ‘go for it and enjoy!’

Photo Credit: The Purple Jacket

The more I thought about his visit with the nurse, and the more I talked about it with our FitPass group, I realized that I have lost sight of what quality of life means to me. You see, as a Caregiver we get so wrapped up in the needs of our caree, we often forget about our own needs. That extra scoop of ice cream sure feels good when you’ve had a stressful day of Caregiving, work, life etc. However, that does not mean you have to have that extra scoop of ice cream every night!

Photo Credit: Wayne Dyer

In order to make healthy choices, we have to be aware of our options. With that, we have to recognize and own what quality of life means to us as an individual . For ‘The Little One’ that extra scoop of ice cream signifies an accomplishment and truly is a part of his quality of life; he has earned it! For me, my quality of life can not be tied solely to his, for in that, I lose my sense of self. (I.e. Weight Gain) How can I be a good caregiver if I am not taking care of myself?

While the nurse that visited our home on Monday was not there to see me, in reality the message she left…was solely for me!

You see…We might have Cancer…But Cancer does not have us!

3 Comments

Filed under Advocate, Bow Tie Guy, cancer treatments, caregiver, Caregiving, Esophagus Cancer, Live Love Laugh, Unconditional Love

The Bow-Tie-Guy Tip of the Day:


Life is meant to be lived in forward, not in reverse.

Photo Credit ‘Free Digital Photo’s’

Leave a Comment

Filed under advocacy, Advocate, Bow Tie Guy, Humor, Inter-generational Relationships, Live Love Laugh, Love, Older man, Spirituality