One act of kindness, gets two in return!
Tag Archives: Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
The Bow-Tie-Guy Tip of the Day
Always be the rose in your Mother’s eye
Photo Credit: ‘The Purple Jacket’
Filed under Bow Tie Guy, caregiver, Caregiving, Humor, Unconditional Love
The Lamp Shade
Humor can take the edge off a number of situations, especially when dealing with serious health or care-giving issues. For those who have followed our blog, you’ll know that we often use humor to get through many difficult days. Reality is what it is; hard do change, sometimes equally hard to deal with.
Moving can be stressful too, yet in a different way. Sooner or later, the last box will be unpacked, the last picture will find itself on the wall, everything will find its place! Even a miss-placed Lamp Shade.
Upon the arrival of the furniture and the mounds of mess and stress that followed, I was left to ponder about caregivers who are often under stress and burdened by their task at hand. You see, sometimes in the heat of care-giving, we can lose sight of the fact that the one who is being cared for is… ill.
When your ‘patient’ says something out-of-turn, don’t blame the ‘patient’… blame the disease. When your ‘patient’ does not feel like eating, don’t blame the ‘patient’…blame the disease. When ‘the patient’ is just not feeling up to doing something, don’t blame the ‘patient’…blame the disease. Caring is a daunting task and the caregiver often loses themselves in the process, and you know, that’s OK because it’s not ‘the patient’s’ fault…it’s the disease.
Just as Lamp Shades protect the bright lights of the bulbs of which they cover, care-givers do the same as they protect and ‘shade’ those for who they care for. When the light burns out, we don’t blame the shade, we blame the bulb. When illness plays havoc with our loved one, we don’t blame the patient, we blame the disease.
When we are focused on the task at hand, mindful that it’s the disease, not the patient…every ‘lamp shade’ finds its proper place, with love, tenderness and commitment.
We are blessed by the good health reports we are receiving in Florida and look to continue to bring great ‘shade’ to those around us!
Filed under Advocate, Bow Tie Guy, Caregiving, Health, Life, Live Love Laugh, Love, may to december, Unconditional Love
The Three Emotions…
Care-giving is an emotional experience. Caregivers often find themselves in roles that they do not choose, yet embrace the role when called to care for a loved one. When you are entrusted with the care of another human being, it is the greatest honor that can be bestowed on yourself. When we are grounded in the spirit of God’s love, there is no burden a caregiver cannot overcome. In essence, all we can really do is love God and let God take away all our pain.
Providing a beautiful sunset to ones life can take its toll on a caregiver, yet no one in modern society should be left to die alone. One of the most beautiful analogies that I learned during my Clinical Pastoral Education training encompassed how society (and the medical profession) has changed their views on the birthing process. Now in most cases, the birthing process is a celebratory experience where the entire family is in the delivery room witnessing and welcoming the birth of a new family member: It is a celebration of life, a welcoming of sorts…it is a good thing! When I was born, this type of practice was not in vogue.
As we make our transition from life on earth to eternal life, that same spirit at the birthing process needs to be transferred at the time of this transition. All to often people are left to make their transition on their own. While death often leaves us with an empty and aching heart, helping to facilitate a happy transition can be a meaningful experience for ALL involved in the process. Yet death brings such raw emotions to the table: unfinished business, our own mortality, our sense of loss. Death is not an easy component of life, yet is not a final good-bye appropriate?
When we are left behind, we are often left with three emotions:
1. Sadness…That the loved one has moved on to another form of life.
2. Relief…That the care-giving experience is over.
3. Guilt…That your life continues on without the one you loved and cared for.
All three emotions are proper, with the strongest of the three being guilt. Yet when we turn these emotions over to God (or a higher spirit), there is a healthy transition for all involved in the experience. Just as we can’t do life alone, we can’t do death alone either.
Today, my friend Fr. Richard Orlando would have celebrated his 89th birthday and just this week, I learned that it is OK for him to be gone in the physical sense of life as we know it. It’s a healthy realization that life moves on while the spirit stays with us in celebration until we see them again. 
Don’t miss out on a chance to celebrate life…love the one your with, care for them like you would want to be cared for yourself. Celebrate Life, in all its forms!
Filed under advocacy, Advocate, caregiver, Caregiving, God, Life after Death, Live Love Laugh, Love, Spirituality, Theology
November – National Care Givers Month
November is National Care Givers Month!
We all know some one who is a caregiver, whether we find ourselves taking care of a loved one, know someone who takes care of a loved one, or even if we have heard an inspritational story on the news.
In today’s busy world it can be easy to forget to show our appreciation to those who make a difference in our lives and the lives of others everyday. As we prepare to celebrate another Thanksgiving, let us give thanks to those who choose to spend their days serving others.
“Appreciation is the highest form of prayer, for it acknowledges the presence of good wherever you shine the light of your thankful thoughts.”
- Alan Cohen
- Alan Cohen
Filed under advocacy, Advocate, Blog, Blog Admin, Bow Tie, cancer treatments, caregiver, Caregiving, Catholic, Chemotherapy, Christian, Dialogue, Downsizing, Eastern Medicine, Esophagus Cancer, Health, Hospice, Humor, Jewish, LGBT, LGBT Couples, Life, Life after Death, Live Love Laugh, Looking into the future, Love, My Life, oncology, Personal, radiation, SAGE, Senior Housing, Social Security, Spirituality, Theology, Uncategorized, Unconditional Love
Downsizing
While we know that the tumor has been downsized by the radiation and chemotherapy treatments, we have taken a long look at our personal belongings and have started the process of downsizing in this area too. So far, the experience has been quite cathartic.
How much ‘stuff’ does one really need to be comfortable in life? China that has never been used, kitchen gadgets (well, except for the Tumor Extractor!), glasses, roasting pans; yikes where did all this stuff come from? And better yet… what really is the need?
Funny as it seems, when I was in the seminary those little rooms we lived in seemed so small…now as I look back at that experience, living austerely has its benefits. Thomas Merton does know what he is talking about!
Cancer is a life changing experience for all who are involved in it. We have grown closer because of the disease and have I have come to a reality check with my life. You see, what is important is not how many items you collect, rather what is important is how many lives you touch. The last few years I have lost touch with my own reality; cancer does have its peculiar benefits.
As the green leaves transition to beautiful autumn colors, we are in a transition mode as well. What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others will ever be immortal. I am honored and proud to be a caregiver, it is one of the most remarkable experiences in life. I am also grateful for the reality check that our downsizing has provided to us. May the ‘Little One’s' health continue to improve; let the downsizing begin!
Filed under Acupuncture, advance directives, advocacy, Advocate, Blog, Blog Admin, Bow Tie, Bow Tie Guy, cancer treatments, caregiver, Caregiving, Catholic, Chemotherapy, Christian, Dialogue, Downsizing, Eastern Medicine, Esophagus Cancer, Health, Hospice, Humor, Jewish, LGBT, LGBT Couples, Life, Life after Death, Live Love Laugh, Looking into the future, Love, Medical Insurance, medical insurance, Medical Office, My Life, oncology, Personal, radiation, SAGE, Senior Housing, Social Security, Spirituality, Theology, Thomas Merton, Uncategorized, Unconditional Love
The Tumor Extractor just $19.99
We have all seen those gadget that they sell on TV… It seems that all those gadgets sell for just $19.99 and better yet, all these gadgets are a must need for every household!
As I was preparing waffles for breakfast this morning I came across a new product called ‘The Tumor Extractor’
Simply apply to the area of the tumor and all your troubles will be gone!
‘The Little One’ and I enjoyed a great laugh when I presented him with our new ‘Tumor Extractor’ for just $19.99 and just think…we only spent $10,000 on chemo and radiation! (Of course Monty Python’s Spamalot is playing in the background.) Every cancer patient and caregiver wishes there was something as quick and simple as ‘The Tumor Extractor’ to remove cancer from the body. But what is available to every cancer patient and caregiver is hope, love, support and humor. That is the true Cancer Extractor!
While Each one of us deals with the realty of cancer in a different way, we want to look on the bright side of life!
Yesterday is gone, today is here, not sure about tomorrow. Today we are enjoying our new ‘Tumor Extractor’ even if it will only help us make waffles.
It is hope that let us stand problems…but our beliefs let us finds solutions.
Happy Sunday! And remember… ‘Always look on the bright side of life!’
Filed under Acupuncture, advocacy, Advocate, Blog, Bow Tie, Bow Tie Guy, cancer treatments, caregiver, Caregiving, Catholic, Chemotherapy, Dialogue, Eastern Medicine, Esophagus Cancer, Health, Hospice, Humor, Jewish, LGBT, Life, Live Love Laugh, Love, My Life, oncology, Personal, radiation, SAGE, Uncategorized, Unconditional Love
