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How Single Mothers Should Ideally Spend Their Daily Life


We welcome guest blogger Andrea Bell back to The Purple Jacket

According to U.S. Census Bureau, out of about 12 million single parent families in 2015, more than 80% were headed by single mothers. Today, 1 in 4 children under the age of 18 — a total of about 17.4 million — are being raised without a father.

For whatever reason, whether they chose to not get married, their husband left or died, the bottom line is – single mothers have their work cut out for them. Single mothers are usually labelled ‘super moms’ for going the extra mile every time for their children. The label is justified, since a single mother spends every waking moment trying to make her child’s life fulfilling and memorable.

A single mother puts her children above everything else.

The day-to-day responsibilities of a single mother are no different than that of married women; coping with sleeplessness, finding child care, paying bills and more. All with the added burden of no one else to rely on.

Still, single mothers agree, that even when overcome with their duties, there’s usually a way to work the issues out.

Here are some tips on how to overcome the struggles of being a single mother.

  1. Build a support system

As a single working parent, you might need a helping hand every now and then, while taking care of your child. It is very important to form a healthy social network of caring individuals around you. Go on day trips with your close friends and family and help your children get acquainted with them. This helps the children form a trustworthy bond with them. Make them believe that they can rely on their relatives for constant support regarding big decisions.

It is important to develop adult relationships as a single mother since it will prevent you from depending too much on your children for emotional support.

  1. Maintain a civil relationship with your Ex

Whether you are separated or divorced, work on maintaining a mature relationship with your ex-partner. On-going conflicts between the two of you can have a negative impact on your children, making them feel frustrated, stressed out and bitter. Make sure your children never become a part of your battles.

Avoid making your children decide on who is the best parent between you and your ex. If the ex is critical of you to your kids, avoid indulging in an argument and instead respond by saying that you’re doing the best you can and children are comfortable with how you are handling things around the house.

Children want to have a healthy relationship with both parents and the freedom to feel, however they want to, about them. They will appreciate your efforts to remain civil about the relationship, giving them a chance to experience strong parenthood.

  1. Spend quality time with your kids

By every means, try to spend quality time with your children, even if it is just 20 minutes a day. It is important to know about the people that influence their lives; teachers, friends, coaches. Go on a holiday and family trips if you think it’ll be an honest opportunity to get to know your kids more. Forming a strong bond with your children, while they are young, is crucial. Talk to them about their daily activities, their interests and most importantly their problems.

Make your children feel more ‘involved’ in household activities. Have a fun-Sunday kitchen routine where you can ask your children to help you cook. Give them small jobs like getting stuff from the pantry or chopping vegetables with a plastic knife. Help them communicate effectively with an adult.

  1. Keep an eye on what you eat

As an active, single mother, you need to have a healthy diet in order to keep your immune system strong. It’s hard to find fitting food when you are balancing two things at once; home and work, but it is essential to have a well-balanced diet.

You might end up eating too much on some stressful days. Try to cut back on junk and binge on healthy snacks instead. Fruits, nuts and vegetables are excellent choices to boost your immunity.

From my personal experience, herbal teas often act as de-stressors while also working on your immune system activity. Detox your body and you will feel lighter and charged up to take on your daily routine.

  1. Sweat it out and get some sleep

As an individual doing a two-person job, getting some sound sleep and having me-time can help you unwind from the challenges of your daily routine. It is normal to feel frustrated and bitter. These feelings linger within your mind because of the stressful lifestyle you must follow as a single working mother.

Your children solely depend on you for protection. You cannot afford to go beyond your limits where you start feeling emotionally and physically drained.

Recharge your batteries, even if you have to temporarily switch your child care provider or simply get a family member to help you out. Spend that time doing activities you like such as meditation, Yoga, exercise or just good old-fashioned sleep. It is important to take a breather every now and then, to remain healthy.

In order to maintain your strength and resilience, you must incorporate these strategies in your daily life. Don’t rule out emotions altogether and do the best that you can. Your kids will love you no matter what. You will soon realize that your single parent family can truly survive all odds.

Author Bio:

Andrea Bell is freelance writer by day and sports fan by night.  Andrea writes about tech education and health related issues (but not at the same time). Live simply, give generously, watch football and a technology lover. Find Andrea  on twitter @IM_AndreaBell.

 

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Caring without a cure: Dementia


Greetings everyone!  Today we welcome guest blogger Andrea Bell to The Purple Jacket.

Caring without a cure: Dementia

When you realize that you or someone you love has been diagnosed with dementia, a progressive disease that has no cure whatsoever, what do you do? After a decent amount of panic and existential crisis, you begin to understand that the right kind of care is necessary in order to cope and survive in this situation.

The most significant thing to be noted is the fact that dementia has a huge impact on the emotional as well as the physical characteristics of the patient. Caring for both becomes absolutely crucial considering the amount of depression and withdrawal that the person suffers through. There is a lot of mental pressure involved.

Emotions and Feelings

It is completely alright to go through a range of new feelings post-diagnosis because your body and mind need time in order to adjust to the news. It might start with a feeling of helplessness, which is absolutely alright as long as there is a gradual shift towards normalcy. Acceptance is key.  The faster you learn to accept the truth, the better the situation becomes. Thus, the first step of self-care or caring for others suffering from dementia is acceptance.

This highlights the significance of positivity in these situations. In progressive or regressive diseases, keeping a positive attitude is half the battle. Under no circumstances must you or your patient leave hope of ever living a normal life again. Even though it may seem impossible considering the current that goes down your spine when your physician mouths the words “there is no cure…” and typing ‘dementia cure’ in your Google tab does not turn out be as fruitful as expected, you must understand that a positive approach can be an alternative maintenance formula nonetheless. However, individual differences outline the fact that every person will go through a different set of emotions, depending on their personality and thought process.

Relationships and Socializing

Dementia patients are in constant need of support and reassurance – after all, they’ve just learned that their mental capabilities are declining. If you are suffering from dementia it is highly advised that you try to spend as much time as possible with your family and friends, because the unconditional support that comes from loved ones has an automatic healing effect which will help you release mind and body stress. All of this is significant not only in order to make the patient ‘feel better’ but also to try and reverse the adverse psychological impact.

Family ties, relationships or your care givers can help you or the patient to stay grounded with reality and a sense of self. So you must follow your daily routine as closely as possible. Social media is another fun and easy way for staying connected and it stimulates the functioning of the brain which makes it work hard.

Finding your people

Since you’ve transitioned into this new life, it would be a good idea to reach out and connect with people who share the same condition as you. This way you will find people from different cultures who have experienced or are experiencing the same irritations and problems such as you. Their experience could be useful to you in many ways and at the same time provide you comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone in the abyss of suffering. Get a chance to communicate with people suffering from dementia on numerous blogs on the internet, just like this one here.

Be your own Anchor

Being independent is important for everyone not only patients because by doing things your way will prevent your condition from getting worse rapidly. It is natural for people around you to try and do everything for you. Let them take care of you from time to time, and do not hold back from telling them that you would like to do your own work and discussing your other independent choices.

Daily tasks will become much more challenging if you forget minute things like a certain date or a password. This can also impact your decisiveness. However, if you decide to remain independent and as mentioned above ‘take charge’ of your life, these challenges could become less complicated, some steps are mentioned below:

  • Sticky Notes – stick them all around the house
  • Keep a Diary – writing about your day or a special event can help
  • Hang a large digital clock in every room.
  • Hang a whiteboard for reminders

Get more gifts and health care products targeted for dementia patients at Unforgettable.org.

Eating well with Dementia

Unfortunately, dementia can cause a change in your dietary habits as you may begin to feel how some of the food tastes.

The two keys to a healthy diet are:

  1. Consume only what your body needs.
  2. Choose a variety to get all supplements.

Read more about proper diet and nutrition in a guide by Eatwell here.

The Doctor is on your side

Regular trips to the physician can be very beneficial for Dementia diagnosis, test, and screening if you are open enough to discuss your problems. This will allow the doctor to keep a check on your progress, and change your medicines or diet accordingly.

Doctors can offer you:

  • Medical treatment and advice
  • Specialist help and referrals and
  • General advice on fitness and preventing further illness.

If you are accompanying a dementia patient to the physician’s clinic, it can be considered a good idea to note down the points that you or your patient wants to discuss, so that you do not forget by the time you get there. Also, making a note of what the doctor has to say during the consultation can be useful, so that you or the patient can refer back to time and again.

Author Bio:  Andrea Bell 

I am a Freelance writer by day and sports fan by night. I write about tech education and health related issues (but not at the same time). Live simply, give generously, watch football and a technology lover. Find me on twitter @IM_AndreaBell.

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