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February 18, 2016 · 9:22 am

Everyday: Live, Love, Laugh!

God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. Voltaire

I am taking break from the road to Spokane today to enjoy my 59th birthday. (Don’t tell anyone, but I am going bowling again!) Oh, but don’t worry, writing of chapter 3 is in earnest (please believe me) and I suspect that my professor and mentor at Gonzaga University will have an update for me to do on chapter 2 before this weekend is over.

The MacLellan Six: Jim, JoAnn, Sissy, Chris, Gerri & Mary

One of the greatest things about being the youngest of six, is that no matter how old I get, I will always be the youngest! When I was younger, I always thought it was a disadvantage to be the youngest. But through the years, my philosophy on that has changed. As I get older, my thoughts on the aging has changed, too. That is why I love Voltaire’s quote: “God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.”

My sister Mary has the best philosophy

“Sister” Mary and her trademark BIG Sunglasses

of life, she decided, long ago, to stay 29. I think she might be on her 43rd year of being 29, but who’s counting and why does it matter? She happily tells everyone that she has kids that are older than her. It’s all about mind over matter, because age is only a number, it is how you feel that makes the difference.

Aging takes on a different meaning for each one of us. Some of us are old when we are young: Some of us are young when we are old. When Richard’s illness progressed, people were surprised to learn

photo credit: Lynda Horn

of his age. His age never showed until the last six months of his life. Richard lived life to the fullest, he did not let any grass grow underneath his feet. Throughout his entire life, he gave himself the gift of living well. I always admired him for his philosophy on life. He took no prisoners.

As caregivers we often forget that our first job is to take good care of ourselves. This mindset is not selfish, remember “it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.” In the hustle and bustle of caring for someone else, we tend to lose sight of ourselves. I know it happen to me, and I would be willing to bet that losing yourself in the midst of caregiving happened to you too. In retrospect, I know that my inability to take better care of myself while in the midst of caregiving, has made life after caregiving more difficult. Thankfully, I can make the choice to give myself the gift of living well.

Birthday’s come and go, some have more meaning than others. No matter how long I live, I will always admire my sibling for their graceful aging. Additionally, I will always remember greeting Richard in the doctors office on my 57th birthday to find him sitting there with balloons tied to his chair, waiting for me to arrive so that he could surprise me with his big birthday splash…. It’s a memory etched in stone.

There is much to live, love and laugh when celebrating another birthday, because its not about the number you obtain on your special day, it is about giving ourselves the gift to live well every day..

Chris MacLellan is the author of “What’s The Deal with Caregiving?” and the host of “Healing Ties” Radio on Spreaker and UK Health Live

What’s On Your Bucket List: Caregiving?

We do not remember days, we remember moments. Cesare Pavese

One of the great aspects of being on the road to Spokane is the anticipation of where the journey will lead me. Sure, the end of the journey is graduation, but what about the road leading up to graduation? And more importantly, what will happen after graduation? So many sites to see along the way, so many people along the route to visit, so many more things to do on my bucket list.

Richard and I were fortunate that we were able to accomplish quite a number of things on our bucket list prior to his cancer diagnosis. Transatlantic cruises were always tops on our list, and we had quite a bit of domestic trips, too. Lunch in a small mountain side cafe outside of Arels, France; hill top view overlooking the green and blue lake, surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean at Ponta Delgarda Azores; relaxing after a walk in Cadiz, Spain.

One of the most enjoyable parts of our trip was in the planning! We would sit down together and look at maps and plan the itinerary as best we could. While we had a plan in place, we always left room to explore so that we can check off items on our bucket list. It was fun for us to check items off our bucket list. As I continue to plan my road to Spokane, it has come to my attention that my bucket is a little dusty.

Oh, there are many things I still want to do that were on our bucket list: visit the Grand Canyon, drive to Mount Rushmore, fly to Hawaii, more transatlantic cruises and a train ride through the Canadian Rockies. Now it is time to dust off the bucket list!

One thing that was not on our bucket list of things to do was Caregiving. I doubt Caregiving is on your bucket list, too!

It seems kind of strange to think about Caregiving as something that should be on your bucket list because in essence, no one really wants to be a caregiver. Caregiving just happens! It could be an untimely diagnosis or an unfortunate accident. Who plans on being a caregiver? While all of our caregiving experiences are different, there is a part of caregiving that I think we all experience, the beginning and the ending, and in most cases, we are not prepared for either of these life-changing events. We live in the moment of our caregiving journey while desperately praying for a miracle, hoping the next day will be better than the day before, then all of a sudden, it’s over.

As I look back on our caregiving journey, I know now the good days far outweighed the bad ones. We might not think that way when we are in the midst of the caregiving trenches, but I have come to know that this is true. As caregivers, we sometimes get caught in the mindset that we can do this alone, or that we do not need any additional help. Along the way I learned reaching out for help was not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. Reaching out for help and being mindful of your own personal health and well-being is job #1 for all caregivers. Yet, easier said than done!

So I think adding a little asterk at the end of your bucket list to include Caregiving is a great thing to do. The asterk can be a subtle reminder to have all your legal documents in order, or to be mindful of the unexpected, but most importantly-the asterk will remind you not to procrastinate and accomplish as many items on your bucket list as possible, because before you know it, the asterk arrives at the top of your list and your bucket list then starts to gather dust.