We do not remember days, we remember moments. Cesare Pavese
One of the great aspects of being on the road to Spokane is the anticipation of where the journey will lead me. Sure, the end of the journey is graduation, but what about the road leading up to graduation? And more importantly, what will happen after graduation? So many sites to see along the way, so many people along the route to visit, so many more things to do on my bucket list.
Richard and I were fortunate that we were able to accomplish quite a number of things on our bucket list prior to his cancer diagnosis. Transatlantic cruises were always tops on our list, and we had quite a bit of domestic trips, too. Lunch in a small mountain side cafe outside of Arels, France; hill top view overlooking the green and blue lake, surrounded by the Atlantic Ocean at Ponta Delgarda Azores; relaxing after a walk in Cadiz, Spain.
One of the most enjoyable parts of our trip was in the planning! We would sit down together and look at maps and plan the itinerary as best we could. While we had a plan in place, we always left room to explore so that we can check off items on our bucket list. It was fun for us to check items off our bucket list. As I continue to plan my road to Spokane, it has come to my attention that my bucket is a little dusty.
Oh, there are many things I still want to do that were on our bucket list: visit the Grand Canyon, drive to Mount Rushmore, fly to Hawaii, more transatlantic cruises and a train ride through the Canadian Rockies. Now it is time to dust off the bucket list!
One thing that was not on our bucket list of things to do was Caregiving. I doubt Caregiving is on your bucket list, too!
It seems kind of strange to think about Caregiving as something that should be on your bucket list because in essence, no one really wants to be a caregiver. Caregiving just happens! It could be an untimely diagnosis or an unfortunate accident. Who plans on being a caregiver? While all of our caregiving experiences are different, there is a part of caregiving that I think we all experience, the beginning and the ending, and in most cases, we are not prepared for either of these life-changing events. We live in the moment of our caregiving journey while desperately praying for a miracle, hoping the next day will be better than the day before, then all of a sudden, it’s over.
As I look back on our caregiving journey, I know now the good days far outweighed the bad ones. We might not think that way when we are in the midst of the caregiving trenches, but I have come to know that this is true. As caregivers, we sometimes get caught in the mindset that we can do this alone, or that we do not need any additional help. Along the way I learned reaching out for help was not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. Reaching out for help and being mindful of your own personal health and well-being is job #1 for all caregivers. Yet, easier said than done!
So I think adding a little asterk at the end of your bucket list to include Caregiving is a great thing to do. The asterk can be a subtle reminder to have all your legal documents in order, or to be mindful of the unexpected, but most importantly-the asterk will remind you not to procrastinate and accomplish as many items on your bucket list as possible, because before you know it, the asterk arrives at the top of your list and your bucket list then starts to gather dust.
Chris MacLellan is the author of “What’s The Deal With Caregiving?” and the host of “Healing Ties” Radio. The Road To Spokane is part of a Masters Thesis project leading up to graduation from Gonzaga University in Leadership and Communication.
a new more glorious form. In Scotland and Ireland, a yellow butterfly near the departed means the soul is at peace. When I told my story to my two friends’ (at different times) both recounted their own story about a yellow butterfly in their life, and how a yellow butterfly appeared out of nowhere when they were in the midst of feeling sad about the loss of a loved one. In both accounts, I was told of the comfort the yellow butterfly brought to my friends and the message they conveyed to me was similar to the beliefs what our friends in Scotland and Ireland believe: the soul is at peace and you can be at peace too! 
There is no rhyme or reason to this “text” message: no message inside the text, just his smiling face on my screen. My phone carrier can’t explain it because his old numbers are not in service, and if they were, “how would the new owner know to text my number” the tech said? I have been cautious to share this story because I have had a hard time understanding the meaning of this text message – that is until I think of the meaning of the yellow butterfly!
I was attracted to Gonzaga’s Leadership and Communication program because of my desire to be involved in media. I had started The Purple Jacket the year before I started the program at Gonzaga and was about to start my first radio program, “Be A Healthy Caregiver” on Blog Talk Radio. I ended up with 57 different shows on “Be A Healthy Caregiver” and like, The Purple Jacket, I was happy to share our story through different forms of media. “Be A Healthy Caregiver” went off the air in the fall of 2013 when Richard’s cancer came back with vengeance, however, I continued to blog on “The Purple Jacket” which will always be our home! Heck, along the way The Purple Jacket helped coin Richard’s nick name, “TLO: The Little One!” Amazing, now approaching 2 years since
Richard made is life transition, I still get asked about “TLO.” It reminds me of something that I have learned during our course study from media/communication scholar, the late Marshall McLuhan, “the medium is in the message.”
the road. While on the move to acceptance, there will be days when the roads will be smooth and the sky so blue that you feel you’re just a stones throw away from completing your move to acceptance. Those days will be quite beautiful! Then there will be days when those darn red lights appear at an intersection which just stops you in your tracks! That red light just seems linger on and on which makes you want to beat on your steering wheel and scream to the top of your voice so that you can continue on your route. (Those are the days during this move when screaming is Okay!) When you get a red light that just seems to linger, this is a good time to take a break from your move before you run out of gas, because when you run out of gas, you never get to move to acceptance.
Some of these “riders” might be on their own move to acceptance, some might have already arrived at acceptance. There will be a “rider” or two who will jump in the car with you who you haven’t seen in a while, yet even after many years have gone by, you pick up just where you left off with these “riders” and your friendship is in full sail again. Heck, you might even pick up a friendly “hitchhiker” along they way, someone you do not know, who pops into your life when you least expect it, who has experienced their own move to acceptance and would like to share their route with you. All these “riders” have their own place in the vehicle and tend to stay just long enough to ensure you stay on the correct route in order for you to move to acceptance.
to acceptance. Cherish the scenic view! As you get closer to your destination, the scenic views will be like a picture book that sits on your coffee table, however, this book will be forever yours, always entrenched in your memory, always with you on your move to acceptance.
Chris’ Book, “What’s The Deal With Caregiving” is available on Amazon by clicking 
What’s new and what is on the horizon? My new website “The Bow Tie Guy.com” will be live later this week. The new website will host all of my Healing Ties Radio programs as well as my new venture “The Whole Care Network.” When the site goes live this week, I will be sure to let you know. My first book, “What’s The Deal With Caregiving” was published in late October and I am happy to give away 5 copies of my book during the Progressive Blog Party! In January, I embark on a thesis project to complete my Masters degree in Leadership and Communication at Gonzaga University. I’m sure you will be hearing more about this project after the first of the year!
Wishing you a wonderful Progressiveness Holiday blog party and a wonderful Holiday season!
The Purple Jacket 