Tag Archives: HealingTies

Creating Servant Leaders One Oreo Cookie At A Time


Good leaders must first become good servants.  Robert K. Greenleaf

Servant Leadership is a philosophy and set of practices that enriches lives of individuals, builds better organizations and creates a more just and caring world.  Servant Leaders lead with others in mind.   Robert Greenleaf  is regarded as the founder of the concept of Servant Leadership. Servant Leadership is not only a process, it is a way of life.  

The Way To SuccessAllison Elkow Lazicky from Top Notch Teams is serving up Servant Leadership in more ways than one.  Using the metaphor of an Oreo Cookie, Allison  sets the stage by saying that before one can dig into the delicious center cream, we set expectations with the top half of the cookie and learn how to develop an attitude of gratitude with the bottom half of the cookie.  I love the metaphor of the Oreo Cookie and Servant Leadership.

I think there is a strong connection between servant leadership and being a caregiver.  As caregivers we often put ourselves second and focus on the needs of someone else. Becoming a servant leader is a process; becoming a caregiver is a process too.  When we (caregivers) develop a care team, we have to empower members to the best of their abilities.  While we might want to jump right into the center of the Oreo cookie, we have to set our expectations and adapt that attitude of gratitude.

I find the concept of Servant Leaders and Caregivers fascinating.  I think you will find the conversation with Allison Elkow Lazicky fascinating too.  Here’s to creating great teams and Oreo Cookies! Listen in and learn how Allison is creating healthy teams and Healing Ties all around us!

 Visit Allison’s website, Top-Notch Teams by clicking here! 

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Toula’s Tips: Caregiver Burnout — It’s Real!


Today we welcome my good friend and guest writer, Toula Wootan from Toula’s Tips for Caregivers to “The Purple Jacket”

 Have you ever felt like this? If so, you are certainly not alone. It’s so very common. Here are a few symptoms to let you know if you are experiencing caregiver burnout:

  • Overreacting to minor nuisances

  • Feeling constantly exhausted

  • Losing interest in work

  • Decrease in productivity at work

  • Withdrawing from social contacts

  • Increasing use of alcohol or stimulants

  • Change in eating patterns

  • Change in sleeping patterns

  • Increasing use of medications for sleeplessness, anxiety or depression

  • Inability to relax

  • Scattered thinking

  • Feeling increasingly resentful

  • Being short-tempered with care recipient frequently

Do you see yourself in the above? If so, perhaps it’s time to take a step back, or perhaps to take a real time-out.

How, you say? If you don’t have family or friends who can step in, there are many support services to help you do this. Many assisted living facilities offer respite, a short-term stay. There are also many adult day care centers in our area, and we have many companion/sitter agencies. Perhaps you qualify for Aging True — they have a team of volunteers who can sit with your loved one occasionally.

 Whatever it takes, take a break so you can rest, do something for yourself, renew your perspective and refresh. It’s essential. I like the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.”

 I am the primary caregiver for both of my parents and work full-time, leading caregiving initiatives! I keep these eight things in mind to help me: sunshine, fresh air, exercise, prayer, water, diet, rest and laughter. Do they resonate with you? They are simple but make a big difference. So does having fun with friends! Don’t forget that.

 I hope these help you. As always, thank you for caring.

 

Toula Wootan

 Toula’s Tips for Caregivers, can now be hear on Spreaker.com/user/toulastipsforcaregivers or from Toula’s website at ToulasTipsforCaregivers.com.  You can email Toula at toulastips@gmail.com

Thank you Toula for all you do for Caregivers in Jacksonville and all over the country!

 

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Combating Dementia with Improv


The Highest Results Of Education Is Tolerance: Helen Keller

Dementia and Improv; two words you don’t normally associate together.  That did not hold

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Cathy Braxton & Tami Neumann from The Silver Dawn Training Institute 

back Tami Newman and Cathy Braxton from the Silver Dawn Training Institute from developing a cutting edge communication tool using Improv to help all of us learn how to community better with someone who is suffering from Dementia.

Dementia Raw is “shining a spotlight on unique ways to communicate with people affected by dementia.  It’s unscripted, it’s unconventional and its unapologetic training that equips you to handle everyday challenges as a caregiver.”

It goes without saying that communication is the key to healthy relationships.  Learning how to communicate with a family member, friend or client who has dementia is equally as important. Silver Dawn Logo_PRThrough their Silver Dawn Training Institute, Tami and Cathy have created
an on-line and in-person certification program that will help professional caregivers and family caregivers alike, learn how to better communicate with those affected by dementia.  To learn more how you can become a Certified Dementia Communication Specialist  simply click here! 

Don’t just take it from me; listen in to this episode of “Healing Ties”  and learn how Tami and Cathy are creating “Healing Ties” all around us.  “Healing Ties” is a part of the Whole Care Network.

 

 

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The Family Historian


A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots. Marcus Garvey

I did not have the opportunity to meet three of my four grandparents.  Aunt and Uncles? Well they lived in Canada and New Orleans; I grew up far far away, in St. Louis.  While the internet has made the world smaller and quite a bit faster; how are we preserving our family legacy for generations to learn about there family history?

Mike Stith from One Legacy has a  passion for collecting inspirational stories.  Mike believes that by sharing stories, “we’re adding a special piece of history for future generations.”  Mike’s new publication, The Family Historian 20170211_110727continues to share  special pieces of family history, yet in a more traditional way. The Family Historian is in newspaper format and is available for free!  Imagine sitting in a waiting room at the doctor’s office and picking up a copy of The Family Historian and being comforted by stories that are similar to yours?

While the internet has changed the way we communicate, there is something special about holding a publication in your hand while reading compelling stories.  The Family Historian is a publication you will want to take home with you!

Everyone has a story, but not everyone gets to tell there story. Listen in and learn how Mike Stith from One Legacy and The Family Historian is creating Healing Ties all around us!  

To learn more about One Legacy and The Family Historian click hereWould you like to receive The Family Historian journal free at your business or organization? Contact info@onelegacy.com or call 618-960-7252 today!

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I’m a Teenage Caregiver: Now What?


“Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.”       Albert Einstein

aacy_logo-for-webNot every child gets 18 years of childhood. There are an estimate of 1.3 million caregiving children ages 8.-18 years old in the U.S.*  We often think of Caregiving as a role solely for adults. Child caregivers are a hidden, vulnerable population in the US, sacrificing their education, health and childhood while fulfilling roles and responsibilities beyond their years.  The risk of underachievement and high school dropout increases for teenagers who end up taking on the role as family caregiver.

When child caregivers are recognized and supported, their lives change and they learn that they are not alone. The American Association of Caregiving Youth of Palm Beach, County (FL) was developed by Connie Siskowski, RN, PHD and is the first US program to support the hidden population of child caregivers.   Through a variety programs to help young caregivers and their families, the American Association of Caregiving Youth brings the issues facing young caregivers and their families to the forefront.

Don’t just take it from me, listen in and learn how Connie Siskowski and American Association of Caregiving Youth is creating Healing Ties all around us!

To learn more about the American Association of Caregiving Youth and the upcoming Caregiving Youth Institute conference on Thursday, April 27th in Boca Raton, Florida simply click here! 

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Author’s Spotlight: Mama Peaches and Me.


All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother. Abraham Lincoln

kl-portfolio-1Combining his personal stories and no-nonsense advice with a healthy dose of humor,Christopher Chaney writes about what it means to love and care for an aging parent in his book Mama Peaches and Me. This book is the first of the Mama Peaches Caregiving Reading Series.

With a mixture of humor, scripture and timely caregiving tips, Mama Peaches and Me is like having a close friend to support those caring for an aging parent, disabled spouse and other loved ones.  As I read through Christopher’s book, I felt like I was part of the family.  Christopher’s nine caregiving tips are essential for all caregivers. A must-read for anyone who is a caregiver or anyone who just loves old-school humor.

Don’t just take it from me; Listen in and learn how Christopher Chaney is creating Healing Ties all around us!

287855_bd19c93bb5f2408da345c5485e2e963d-mv2_d_1672_2316_s_2In celebration of National Caregivers Day (Feb. 17th)  Christopher is offering the e-book version of my Mama Peaches and Me book absolutely free for two days only (Feb 17 and 18).  This book was named as one of the eight best caregiving books of 2017 by the editor of care.com . Getting your Free e-Book is easy and quick when you visit my website at http://www.authorchristopher.com./    Use promo code: Bowtie for your free book! 

Christopher-Charles Chaney is a caregiving advocate, published author, award-winning public speaking champion and CEO of Kingdom Majesty International Ministries.

 

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When Is It Safe To Stop Driving?


Don’t find fault, find a remedy. Henry Ford

After retiring from a very successful 24-year career with the Ohio State Highway Patrol, Matt Gurwell quickly recognized that he was still filled with a desire for improving highway safety and more specifically, a passion to help keep older drivers, safe drivers.
As a result, Matt Gurwell founded Keeping Us Safe, a national organization with a mission to help keep older drivers safe. Matt has developed programs that provide senior drivers and their families with direction in helping to ensure one’s smooth transition from the driver’s seat to the passenger seat.
Helping older drivers with diminished driving skills make a smooth transition from the drivers seat to the passenger seat can be a challenge.  Matt’s first tip: don’t put off the conversation. Matt’s creative, innovative and common sense approach, combined with his uncanny ability to bring calm and resolve to stressful situations without ever jeopardizing the dignity of others, has contributed greatly to the success of Keeping Us Safe’s programs.
Don’t just take it from me!  Listen in and learn how Matt Gurwell is creating Healing Ties all around us and more importantly,  how you can earn a Mr. Safe Key from mrhappykey_logo_positioner-512Keeping Us Safe!  

Brief Summary of Services:

  1. Enhanced Self-Assessment Program

This individualized program has been designed to serve as a valuable tool in helping older drivers (and their families) make appropriate decisions regarding the future of one’s safe driving career.  If the individual is a safe driver, we provide him or her with strategies on how to remain a safe driver as they progress through the aging process.  If driving retirement is the appropriate decision, then we provide the individual (and their family) with acceptable alternatives, resources and a very specific plan to ensure a smooth and successful transition from the driver’s seat to the passenger seat.

  1. “Beyond Driving with Dignity; The workbook for older drivers and their families”

Working through this instrument will help your family make driving-related decisions that are not only in the best interest of the older driver, but simultaneously find themselves in the best interest of highway safety in general. This workbook was designed to be used by your family in the confidence and comfort of your own home, most likely seated right at your family’s kitchen table.

 

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Visit Matt Gurwell at:
Email:  info@keepingusesafe.org
Phone:     877-907-884

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5 Tips for Talking With a Person Who Has Alzheimer’s


“Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today we welcome award winning author Marie Marley to The Purple Jacket.

Yesterday afternoon I walked into Mary’s spacious room. Mary is a woman who has few visitors and who I’ve volunteered to spend a little time with every week. I greeted her, complimented her on her beautiful turquoise sweater and shook her hand.

Then I sat down at her little table that was overflowing with books, photographs, the newspaper and other items she wants to keep close at hand. I started off by picking up a small framed photo of Mary with her husband and three children — two sons and a daughter.

“Tell me about your daughter,” I said, using an open-ended question because they have no right or wrong answers. That’s a tip I picked up from The Best Friends Approach to Alzheimer’s Care by Virginia Bell and David Troxell.

“Oh, her name is Connie,” she told me. “She has four children — two boys and two girls.”

She continued by giving me several details about Connie and her family. I then picked up a photograph of Mary and her twin sister, Bernice, and she told me about how they took piano lessons together when they were children. After a few minutes, I asked her if her daughter ever played a musical instrument.

“I don’t have a daughter,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Oh,” I countered, picking up the family photo again and holding it out for her to see. “You just told me you have a daughter. Here she is.”

Mary’s face fell and she said very quietly, “I guess I do have a daughter.”

I immediately felt sorry for her embarrassment and was disgusted with myself for having pointed out her mistake. I realized I’d just broken one of the cardinal rules for interacting with a person who has dementia. I’d just read it in The Best Friend’s Approach that very morning: “Let the person save face.”

When relating to a person with Alzheimer’s there are many guidelines to follow. I’m going to discuss five basic ones here: 1) Don’t tell them they are wrong about something, 2) Don’t argue with them, 3) Don’t ask if they remember something, 4) Don’t remind them that their spouse, parent or other loved one is dead and 5) Don’t bring up topics that may upset them.

Don’t Tell Them They’re Wrong About Something: To let the person save face, it’s best not to contradict or correct them if they say something wrong. There’s usually no good reason to do that. If they’re alert enough, they’ll realize they made a mistake and feel bad about it. Even if they don’t understand their error, correcting them may embarrass or otherwise be unpleasant for them.

Don’t Argue With the Person: It’s never a good idea to argue with a person who has dementia. First of all, you can’t win. And second, it will probably upset them or even make them angry. I learned a long time ago, when caring for my beloved Romanian soul mate, Ed, the best thing to do is simply change the subject — preferably to something pleasant that will immediately catch their attention.

Don’t Ask if They Remember Something: When talking with a person who has Alzheimer’s, it’s so tempting to ask them if they remember some person or event. “What did you have for lunch?” “What did you do this morning?” “Do you remember that we had candy bars when I visited last week?” “This is David. Do you remember him?” Of course they may not remember. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have a diagnosis of dementia. It could embarrass or frustrate them if they don’t remember. It’s better to say, “I remember that we had candy the last time I was here. It was delicious.”

Don’t Remind the Person that a Loved One Is Dead: It’s not uncommon for people with dementia to believe their deceased spouse, parent or other loved one is still alive. They may be confused or feel hurt that the person doesn’t come to visit. If you inform them that the person is dead, they might not believe it and become angry with you. If they do believe you, they’ll probably be very upset by the news. What’s more, they’re likely to soon forget what you said and go back to believing their loved one is still alive. An exception to this guideline is if they ask you if the person is gone. Then it’s wise to give them an honest answer, even if they will soon forget it, and then go on to some other topic.

Don’t Bring up Other Topics That May Upset Them: There’s no reason to bring up topics you know may upset your loved one. If you don’t see eye-to eye on politics, for example, don’t even bring it up. It may just start an argument, which goes against the second guideline above. You won’t prevail and it’s just likely to cause them anger and/or frustration.

So there you go. A few guidelines for visiting. I hope these will be helpful to you in visiting your loved one and enriching the time you have together.

unnamedMarie Marley is the award-winning author of Come Back Early Today: A Memoir of Love, Alzheimer’s and Joy and co-author (with Daniel C. Potts, MD, FAAN) of Finding Joy in Alzheimer’s: New Hope for Caregivers. Her website (ComeBackEarlyToday.com) contains a wealth of information for Alzheimer’s caregivers.

 

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The Essence of Music Therapy


Where words fail, music speaks. Hans Christian Andersen

I have to be  honest, I’m a frustrated singer.  Oh, I’ve tried to sing in a chorus and of course, just like you, I’ve sung a few tunes in the shower, loudly I might add!  Music is the essential human experience and Marlon Sobol has a passion for music. As a music therapist, Marlon’s passion for music transcends, staff, residents and administrators alike.

As Manager of the Music Therapy Department at Schnurmacher Center for Rehab and Nursing in White Plains, NY, Sobol implements programming that include drumming, improvisation, dancing, bell chiming,song writing, singing, anmarlon-still-6-color-1d listening with verbal processing to meet the clinical and cultural needs of the facility’s in house and local community.

According to Sobol, “residents spend an average of 5 to 8 hours in front of a TV which is not good for anyone.  Music alleviates  agitation and encourages moment. And music is the path in the wilderness of dementia.”

Now Marlon has created a program called “Keep On Moving TV for Seniors” so caregivers and facilities will have an “easy to access resource”, that will greatly enhance the quality of life for all of our later years.  Listen in and learn how Marlon is creating “Healing Ties” and changing lives through his music. The rhythm is going to get you!

To learn more about “Keep On Moving TV for Seniors” and to support Marlon’s work visit:   https://www.generosity.com/fundraising/keep-on-moving-tv-for-seniors–2

Marlon Sobol’s work as both musician and music therapist have been featured in “DRUM!”marlon-still-3-color-1 Magazine; in “Preserving Your Memory” Magazine;  in the Journal News, and on Armand Dimele’s, “The Positive Mind,” and NPR’s “Soundcheck” with John Schaefer. 

 

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Is There A Connection Between Dementia and Dirty Air?


Today we welcome a contribution from freelance writer  Jess Walters to “The Purple Jacket”

Why Caregivers Should Monitor Air Quality

Caring for a loved one is a heavy burden, and you’ll want to do the best you can for them. Some of the duties you will perform as a carer are quite typical, such as feeding, shopping and cleaning. However, there are other less obvious things to consider when looking after someone. A topic that isn’t usually at the forefront of people’s minds is the quality of air.

Scientists believe that there may be a link between polluted air which is high in magnetite, and dementia. People with dementia have elevated levels of magnetite in their brains. Therefore, it is vital that the air is clean for yourself and your loved one. You can do this by using a portable air purifier, and by purchasing high quality filters for your HVAC, which will screen smaller particles in the air.

A silent buildup of tiny magnets in the brain sounds like science fiction, but researchers say it’s reality for adults who live in cities, thanks to air pollution. Now, they’re trying to find out if high levels of magnetite, a particle found in dirty air, can cause Alzheimer’s. They’re concerned because Alzheimer’s patients also have lots of magnetite in their brains. It’s not yet clear if elevated brain magnetite levels are a cause or an effect of dementia, but magnetite is hardly the only air pollutant, and there’s no question that cleaner air is better for your health. Here are some tips for clearing the air for yourself and your parents.

Keep an eye on local air quality

Local industries, pollen, dust storms, and wildfires can create health hazards for seniors, especially those with allergies, asthma, and lung diseases. Most local weather forecasts now include information on daily air quality, including the types and amounts of pollutants such as ozone and dust. You can also visit the Environmental Protection Agency’s real-time national air quality map at AirNow, enter your zip code or and see local air quality and tomorrow’s forecast.

When the pollutants and pollen are high, it may be best to stay indoors or at least avoid exercising outdoors. You may be tempted to put on a mask and get on with outdoor activities despite the dirty air, but health experts warn that thick, tight-fitting masks that can filter out pollution particles may also make it harder to breathe. Read the rest of this guide here.

“Jess Walter  is a freelance writer and mother. She loves the freedom that comes with freelance life and the additional time it means she gets to spend with her family and pets.” Jess Walter <jesswalterwriter@gmail.com>

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