The Purple Jacket

January 7, 2015 · 9:15 am

It Is All About Family

Family is not an important thing. It’s everything. Michael J. Fox

Healing Ties Radio show kicks off our first show of the year on Wednesday evening with a conversation about Family. We will visit with all five of my siblings and their spouses and we talk about parenting, grand kids and most importantly, bonds that we create and show with our family and friends, especially as we age. We will be debuting our new feature, ‘The Motivational Minute with Judy Ryan from Life Work Systems and of course, our Healing Ties Juke Box will be playing a special tune half way through the show!

To listen to the show live at 7:00 pm on Health Cafe LIVE, simply click here!

Cannot listen live? NO WORRIES…All of our shows are available ON DEMAND on our Healing Ties iHeart Channel by simply clicking here!

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Tagged as Family, Family Caregiver, iHeart Radio

January 6, 2015 · 9:34 pm

It Would Have Been Awesome: But It Was!

“It Would Be Awesome To Get Married, Even If For One Day, Because It Would Solidify What We Already Know ” ~ Chris MacLellan November 2013

When the clock struck 12:00 am on Tuesday, January 6th in the State of Florida, same-sex marriage became the law of this fine state: Hooray I said! Of course there will be people appalled by this decision to grant equal rights under the protection of marriage; bully to them! I wonder about those who ‘worry’ about granting equal rights to same-sex couples through marriage? Do they need a ‘piece of paper’ to signify their love? We’ve heard the religious arguments, the family values arguments, heck, even heard that world might end if same-sex marriage became law. Last time I looked outside, the ground was still standing firm in this fine state of Florida.

Same sex couples have known for a zillion years that we do not need a ‘piece of paper’ to solidify our love; however that ‘piece of paper’ does solidify our equal rights. Bigotry and hatred, unfortunately, will always be around us, yet that ‘piece of paper’ provides clear protection to all couples who have been together, one day, or 50+ years. When you look closely into the laws, both federal and state, and see how laws are granted to those who are married, this ‘argument’ of marriage equality comes into perspective. As Americans, we do not often like to talk about death and dying, but all the rights granted by marriage are intertwined at the time of death. Did you know that in every state of the nation that the next of kin for an adult is a spouse! Until you’ve been denied the right to be with the one that you love at the time of death, or asked, ‘Who Are You’ by medical staff, or have been told, ‘your not next of kin’ after your partner has passed away, you never fully grasp the inequality.

Yes, this day is bitter-sweet for me: I’m sure I am not alone. Richard and I talked about getting married, and it would have been an awesome thing to do! I can’t imagine us getting married would have deepened our love, it just would have solidified what was already known! Yet I do hope our Caregiving story, In Sickness and In Health: A Couple’s Final Journey and what happened to us along the way as an unmarried couple, helped pave the way for this historic day in Florida. In some small way, I am sure that it did!

Yes, it would have been awesome to get married, but our life was awesome together, without that ‘piece of paper! It would have been awesome to gather our family and friends together for a ceremony, but heck, they all knew that we loved each other, that we were committed to each other, without that ‘piece of paper.’ As one of my sisters said to me today, “Heck, you two were everything to each other, but married.” She was so right, because, in the end, the only thing that matters is that love, care and commitment is the same for any two people who are committed to each other as one. Our ‘piece of paper’ was imprinted in our hearts.

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Tagged as Florida, LGBT, LGBT Caregivers, LGBT Caregiving, LGBT Seniors, Marriage Equality, Same-sex marriage

December 31, 2014 · 9:50 am

Washing Away 2014 With One Last Toast

When love is at its best, one loves so much that he cannot forget. Helen Hunt Jackson

New Years Eve Toast 2013. Photo Credit: Carline Jean Sun-Sentinel

Last week during the Christmas holiday, we took a drive down memory lane and visited all the beautiful lights on Ocean Drive in Palm Beach and Broward County. The outpouring of support from those two blog post is most appreciate.

As we move into the New Year, I do not want to forget about 2014, but I do want to wash it away. Healing and grieving is different for everyone who has gone through the loss of a loved one. Grieving would not be hard if love was not involved. Healing would be next to impossible without family and friends like you!

This year, I have decided not to make any new year resolutions, but rather to make some new year commitments. In 2015, I will commit to taking better care of myself, including my physical, emotional, spiritual and financial self. There is no secret weapon or path to accomplish this; taking better care of myself is something that is important to my healing process. Caregivers understand that the last person who gets care, is the Caregiver. Now, it is time for me to embark on a new caregiving role; caring for myself.

In 2015, I will continue to advocate for Caregivers and their Caree’s through my new radio show, Healing Ties on Health Cafe Life.com and iHeart Radio. Our show on iHeart is listed under the Health section and there are already 10 shows up for you to listen to by simply clicking here! (Listen in and be sure to click on the heart!) I will keep blogging on ‘The Purple Jacket’ as this spot is reserved for TLO and all of our friends and followers who have been supportive over the years. Early in 2015, I will introduce a new website, Healing Ties which will feature information about the radio show while introducing you to the Whole Care Network. The new site is still in the development process, but you can take a quick look at the new website by clicking here! Your feedback and opinion on the new website is most appreciated! Our new website will highlight the Whole Care Network which will be a bevy of referrals and references to help you create Healing Ties in your life and in your community.

There are three eBooks in the works and one major book, about our caregiving story, ‘In Sickness and In Health: A Couple’s Final Journey’ is in the works, too. Early in 2015 you’ll see posting about group cruises for Caregivers, especially for those Caregivers who have lost a spouse or a partner. It is time for us to come together in celebration, in care, in commitment and in love, to support and be there for each other. There are some other exciting opportunities that are presenting themselves as we move forward in 2015, I will be sure to keep you in the loop! It is going to be a busy year with workshops and presentations across the country: remember I am making a new year commitment, not a new year resolution!

I do not have any fancy words or sage advice today, that’s never been our style here on The Purple Jacket; I simply write from the aspect of love, care and commitment which seems to fit just fine. As I wash away 2014, I toast you, and thank you for being with us on this journey. One thing this past year has taught me is to live in the moment: Funny TLO used to tell me that all the time! So as we bring in the new year, I am thankful for the love that we shared, thankful for the life with TLO, and ready and willing to move forward, just as he wanted me to do.

“I love the photo that includes your rear view mirror – you brought your past into the present last night.” Denise Brown from Aftergiving.com

I leave you with this wonderful quote brought to you by my good friend, Denise Brown from Caregiving.com and Aftergiving.com ” I love the photo that includes your rear view mirror–you brought your past into the present last night.” I did not get the symbolism of this picture until Denise pointed it out to me, I am so thankful to Denise for her insight! Why? Because, I never want to forget about the past, yet life moves forward, not back. Love is what shapes us: Love will never be washed away!

Blessed and Happy New Year to you and your family!

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Tagged as advocacy, Be A Healthy Caregiver, Caregiver Support, Caregiving, Caregiving.com, Grieving, iHeart Radio, Life

December 25, 2014 · 1:43 pm

That Ride Down Memory Lane

Love has no age, no limit; and no death ~ John Galsworthy

I started the journey down memory lane on Christmas eve just before 7:00 pm. First stop was the beach front in Palm Beach, Fl., just across the street from

Beach Front: Palm Beach, FL.

where TLO and I had dinner last year. No sure how I was going to react once I arrived at the scene to start of my journey, I took my tablet along and sat out on the beach as I knew my friend, Denise Brown was hosting a 36 hour chat on her wonderful website, Caregiving.com for Caregivers who might need an extra support over the holidays. While it took me a few minutes to log-on from my tablet, I was happy to find R.M. as the guest host. Like me, R.M. has experienced the loss of her husband; we had a great conversation which lasted close to 45 minutes: R.M.’s conversation and comfort was just what I needed to meander down the road! (By the way, if you have not visited Caregiving.com or Aftergiving.com, you’ll find a great supportive community there, I suggest you visit both website by clicking the hyperlink above!)

Christmas Lights on Ocean Dr

With Christmas Carol’s playing on the satellite radio, I headed south on Ocean Drive as so many wonderful, and happy memories filled my time on the road. Of course I missed his physical presence in the car, that gentle caress of his hand on mine. Heck, I even missed his opinion, or two! Seeing those beautiful lights on Ocean Drive reminded me how memories of love last a lifetime. Then it hit me…Death does not change love! Sure, I may not remember something as mundane as how the Christmas lights were displayed in front of these homes in previous years, but I do remember how special our drives up and down Ocean Drive were to us was because our drives were apart of the love we shared together.

Just the other day I was at a party and was asked, “How long should someone grieve.” Puzzled, I replied, “do you want the standard therapeutic answer or one from the heart. Oh, I know the standard therapeutic answer, but I want to know your answer, since you’ve allowed so many people into your story.” My reply was simply this: “Just as love is unique between two people, so will be how one will deal with their own healing and grieving. There is no time-table, there is no recipe for grief other than just to own it, embrace it and at least for

me, talk about it, because in time, it will get better.”

After talking to R.M. in the Caregiving.com chat room, I thought about this conversation last night as I motored down the road on Ocean Drive. I think it was kind-of-like one of those ‘AH-HA’ moment that we experience from time to time that lit a light bulb in my head, turned up my spirits, and reminded me to be thankful for what I had, rather than sad for what I think that I have lost: Death does not change love.

Yes, I have lost his physical presence in my life, but that doesn’t mean that I have lost his love in my life. That was the big distinction

Hugs and Love last forever

that I learned on my on Christmas Eve. When in the midst of healing and grieving, sometimes we need a trip down memory lane to help create our Healing Ties.

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December 24, 2014 · 10:00 am

Going For A Ride on Christmas Eve

Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

One of the many things that I have missed this holiday season is the rides TLO and I took to see the beautiful Christmas lights up and down Ocean Drive in Palm Beach and Broward County, Florida. Usually our drives were filled with lots of chatter, or gossip, depending on your point of view. Yet one thing that we did during these rides that I miss the most is simply holding hands. There is so many ways to express love, yet there is nothing more basic, more real, than to hold hands. That gentle touch which brings

comfort in so many ways, is missing this holiday season.

Christmas eve was always our special night. Whether our pocket books were flush or not, we always made that evening, our evening. We would sit down and plan for weeks about what posh restaurant where we would make our reservation. Yet no matter

where we decided to have dinner on Christmas eve, we always made plans to end the evening with a drive down Ocean Drive to see the Christmas lights. Of course a nice ice cream cone was in order too!

I have not taken a drive down Ocean Drive this holiday season. Yet I think I am going to take that ride on Christmas eve as a way to remember…as a way to celebrate our life together, as a way to create my own Healing Ties, but most of all, I am going to take that ride just to be thankful for having the experience of love and being loved. Caregiving is over for us; but love endures forever and love does make the ride worthwhile.

To all who are grieving this holiday season, I wish you peace, comfort and lots of Holiday Hugs!

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Tagged as advocacy, Caregiver Support, Caregiving, Grieving, LGBT, LGBT Caregivers, The Bow-Tie-Guy

December 16, 2014 · 1:29 pm

Creating The Life You Love

We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do. Mother Teresa

Join us Wednesday, December 17th at 7:00 pm (est) on Health Cafe Live for a conversation with nationally recognized and award-winning speaker, Judy Ryan.

Judy Ryan

Judy is the founder of Life Work Systems and has been delivering personal and professional development services since 1999.

On Wednesday’s episode of Healing Ties, Judy Ryan and I will be discussing the topic of Creating the Life You Love because there is nothing more important than enjoying the life we have, whether at work, at home, at school, in our communities, and with those we have, no matter what circumstances we face. This topic is timely for anyone listening, especially our Caregivers. As Judy says: “Now, you (Caregivers) are a group that knows what is really important and you are hungry to enjoy living into your most loving, expanded human potential.”

To listen live at 7:00 pm (est) simply follow this link to Health Cafe LIVE :

Cannot listen live? NO WORRIES! Healing Ties in ON DEMAND at iHeart Radio by clicking on the iHeart Icon download

‘Healing Ties’ is a radio show about your Health, Happiness and Prosperity, hosted by Chris MacLellan, ‘The Bow-Tie-Guy.’ Interested in being a sponsor of the show, contact Chris at TheBowTieGuy@HealingTies.com. Healing Ties is apart of the Whole Care Network

Lost Dreams

Your big opportunity may be right where you are now. Napoleon Hill

Nobody can escape the agonizing losses that are part of our everyday existence —the loss of our dreams. We had thought so long of ourselves as successful, liked and deeply loved. We had hoped for a life of generosity, service and self-sacrifice. We had planned to become forgiving, caring and always gentle people. We have a vision of ourselves as reconcilers and peacemakers. But somehow—we aren’t even sure what happened—we lost our dreams. We became worrying, anxious people clinging to the few things we had collected and exchanging with one another news of political, social and ecclesiastical scandals of our day. It is the loss of spirit that is often hardest to acknowledge and most difficult to confess. ~ Author Unknown

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Tagged as advocate, Leadership

December 9, 2014 · 10:18 am

A Whole Heap of Goodness on Healing Ties Radio

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. Leo Tolstoy

If you are like me and million of others, you have a life long dream, a passion that you want to follow? Then join us on Wednesday, December 10th at 7 pm EST on Health Cafe LIVE for a conversation with Author, TV Chef, and Entrepreneur Chad Thilborger for a conversation about living your dream. Chad is not only living his dream, Chad is changing lives and creating ‘Healing Ties’ all around us! And Chad just might have a few recipe tips and home business ideas to share with us on Wednesday! This is A Whole Heap of Goodness you don’t want to miss!
Can’t listen live…NO WORRIES! Healing Ties is On Demand on iHeart Radio by clicking here!

Holiday Progressive Blog Party with Caregiving.com

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Welcome to the 2014 Holiday Progressive Blog party with Caregiving.com. This is the third year that ‘The Purple Jacket’ has participated in the progressive holiday blog party; this event is always a great way to connect with old friends and new ones who are on their Caregiving journey. One of the many great things about being part of the extended family at Caregiving.com is the ability to connect with people from all over the world who instantly understand your caregiving plight. Caregivers have this innate ability to understand each others journey, even when the paths are different.

There is still time to join Caregiving.com holiday progressive blog party by clicking here!

Christmas 2011

For those who are visiting The Purple Jacket for the first time…Welcome! For those friends who have been here before, it is great to see you again! I know many of you realize that this years Holiday Progressive Blog Party has a much different meaning for me. So with that, here is a new description for The Purple Jacket.

The Purple Jacket is a real-life Caregiving blog about two people who were partners in life, Chris MacLellan and Bernard Richard Schiffer. Richard lost his battle with cancer on March 9th, 2014: Cancer was not the winner, Love was the winner! Now that our Caregiving journey has ended, The Purple Jacket is dedicated in memory to Richard, and to all Caregivers who have lost the one they loved, because in the end, Love, Care and Commitment is the same for any two people who are joined together as one.

Now, I am learning to be a caregiver to myself. This new journey I find myself on is filled with some of the same bumpy roads, yet with a different twist or two along the way. Yet what is constant is the continuous love, care and support I receive from all my Caregiving friends from around the world and I thank Denise Brown and my extended family at Caregiving.com and Aftergiving.com for that comfort.

What am I up to now? Well, I have a new radio show, ‘Healing Ties’ from “The Bow Tie Guy” on Health Cafe LIVE.com and on On Demand at iHeart Radio. (You’ll see all the information on the main page of the Purple Jacket) I am starting to blog again on The Purple Jacket and on AfterGiving.com and later in 2015, I will be leading some groups cruises for Caregivers and those who like me, are no longer Caregivers.

But one thing is for sure, no matter where my next Caregiving journey takes me, my roots will always come back to my extended family at Caregiving.com, for without you, TLO and I knew that we were never, ever alone!

Follow the YOU TUBE link below to a video tribute to Richard for Aftergiving.com…I hope you like it!

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3HlZbStqGaQ7MZk94ws0XugLQdcaKkoQ

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Holiday Blog Party and joyful holiday season!

January 2014

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Tagged as Caregiving, Caregiving.com, Family Caregiver, The Bow-Tie-Guy

December 8, 2014 · 10:54 am

Follow Up on Re-Branding The Purple Jacket Blog?

The starting point of all achievement is desire. Napoleon Hill

Chris and his Purple Jacket circa 2006

Thank you for all who have voted in our poll about re-branding The Purple Jacket Blog to Healing Ties!

Up today Monday December 8th, here are the poll results up to Monday, December 8th.

Question 1: Should the blog be re branded from The Purple Jacket to Healing Ties? 63% said YES: 25% said NO: 2% said other

Question 2: On first look, did you identify The Purple Jacket as a Caregivers Blog,70% said YES: Alzheimer Blog, 10 % said YES: Clothing Blog 10% said Yes: Other, 10% said yes!

Question 3: What makes a blog, the title or its contents? 87% responded contents/ 13% responded both

I appreciate your vote and yes, there is still time to cast your vote at http://wp.me/p1gewn-142