Tag Archives: Humor

Laughter is the best medicine, then and now.


There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full ~ Henry A. Kissinger

As I continue to grieve and heal, I look back at those moments during our caregiving journey that brought laughter to our hearts.  Richard had such a dry sense of humor and a quick wit and if truth be told, he really did enjoy having his picture taken too.  We used humor and laughter quite bit during our Caregiving journey.  Whether it was a trip out for a delicious scoop of ice cream or a visit to get a hair cut, we tried to inject as much humor into our day as was humanly possible.

IceCream1  IceCream3

 

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We let our humor combat some of those dark days, too.  Richard loved Monty Python, especially ‘Spamalot’…I think we both saw the play three times.  There was a day, early on after the diagnosis where Richard was playing the music from ‘Spamalot’ when all of a sudden the famous song,

Spamalot

Spamalot (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

“He’s Not Dead Yet” started to blare through the Bose speakers.  We both looked at each other in utter amazement; we laughed, we cried, we hugged each other and we laughed some more.  That song became our battle cry, and because of that song, the laughter we shared, provided that spark which enabled Richard to live his life to the fullest.

As our caregiving journey continued to unfold, there was no doubt that we traveled the journey together, side by side, one by one.  We shared in the emotions, we shared in the joy and laughter,  knowing that sorrow was somewhere around the corner.  Yet the sorrow that we shared was the realization that our time together was not going to be as long as we would have wanted it to be.  No more, no less.

The lesson that I’ve learned during our Caregiving journey was that I was  the co-pilot, Richard was the pilot. Richard was  the one going throughSONY DSC the radiation treatments, Richard was  the one taking the medicine; I was there in a supporting role, simply loving, caring and coping as best we could.  As Caregivers, our journey is filled with difficult peaks and valley’s, we try to pave the roads we journey so that the path is as smooth possible, so when there is a problem at hand,  there is always a gentle breeze at our caree’s back.  Caregiving is filled with so many raw emotions, that sometimes we forget that we are on a beautiful, yet difficult journey together.   For Richard and I, humor and laughter helped lightened some very dark days.  For us then, and for me now, laughter is truly the best medicine.  Laughter allows me to grieve and heal.

 

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The Bow-Tie-Guy Tip of the Day:


One act of kindness, gets two in return! 

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On the Road Again…


Florida bound: we are on the road again!   With a plethora of test scheduled for next week, we hit the road Friday afternoon for the journey south.  ‘Why not fly’, a good friend said to me this week.  While flying would get it there  “lickety-split,” there is a sense of relaxation in the drive.

In the hustle and bustle of care-giving, advocacy, work, family commitments and the such, time tends to fly by without notice.  ‘The drive, while annoying at times, allows us to have great conversations free of distractions.   I find driving to be relaxing and as all caregivers (should) know, when you have a chance to find some times to relax…take it!

Speaking of relaxing, I had the opportunity to take in a hockey game this past week.  As an avid hockey fan and former season ticket holder, I have not had the opportunity to attend many games in person over the past few years.  Yet I was treated to a game this week between the St. Louis Blues and the Detroit Red Wings.   Out of all the sports I played as a kid, ice hockey was by far the most fun. (Must be the Canadian in me!)  I grew to love the sport at an early age when the NHL expanded to 16 teams in the late sixties.   Still waiting for our first Stanley Cup; I’ll always be true to our boys in Blue!  

The night at the hockey game reminded me about how important it is for caregivers to find some ‘me’ time.  While it is an honor to be a caregiver, to be on the top of your game, you have to care for yourself, too.   Attending the hockey game was a treat and it allowed me to relax, enjoy and refresh.   Often times as caregivers we forget to care for our self; if we can’t care for ourselves, how can we care for the one we care for?

This is not to say that “The Little One” did not have his time in the spotlight this week.  One of his most difficult decisions this week was to decide what Phosphate to have at Dr. Jazz Soda Fountain and Grill in Webster Groves, MO.  Decisions, Decisions… Why not have…both!

As we motor down the road this weekend to Florida, we will jump right into some important medical test on Monday.  The second PET Scan is scheduled for Monday morning at 9:30 am.  The PET Scan will give us with a clear picture of how the radiation and chemotherapy attached the cancer cells; we will have the results by the end of the week.  While ‘The Little One’ has shown great improvement over these past six weeks,  we are anxious to learn what the next part of our care plan will be  as we move forward to defeat this disease.

Just as we both have had choices to make this week about mundane things like attending hockey games or what flavor of Phosphate to have; we also have choices to make on our care plan as we move forward with beating this cancer.  No matter what the results are this week from the PET Scan or other medical test we endure this week; we still have choices in our care.     Having a care-giver or better yet, having cancer does not take away from our ability to make choices.  Independence and personal choices are essential components in order to age gracefully.  No one should be denied the ability to make their own choices, yet to make the best possible choices in our lives, we have the have the pertinent information at our disposal.  Hence the need for the follow-up test next week.

We embrace the upcoming week with anticipation  knowing that we will have the ability to make choices that will fit into the needs of “The Little One.”   Without choices, there is no independence…without independence, there is no hope.   While we can’t control the outcome of the results, we can control how we respond of the results!   It is through the ability to make choices that we gain our independence from the cancer, no matter what the outcome might be.  

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November – National Care Givers Month


November is National Care Givers Month!

 We all know some one who is a caregiver, whether we find ourselves taking care of a loved one, know someone who takes care of a loved one, or even if we have heard an inspritational story on the news.

 In today’s busy world it can be easy to forget to show our appreciation to those who make a difference in our lives and the lives of others everyday. As we prepare to celebrate another Thanksgiving, let us give thanks to those who choose to spend their days serving others.

“Appreciation is the highest form of prayer, for it acknowledges the presence of good wherever you shine the light of your thankful thoughts.”
Alan Cohen

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Downsizing


While we know that the tumor has been downsized by the radiation and chemotherapy treatments, we have taken a long look at our personal belongings and have started the process of downsizing in this area too.  So far, the experience has been quite cathartic.

How much ‘stuff’ does one really need to be comfortable in life?  China that has never been used, kitchen gadgets (well, except for the Tumor Extractor!), glasses, roasting pans; yikes where did all this stuff come from?   And better yet… what really is the need?

Funny as it seems, when I was in the seminary those little rooms we lived in seemed so small…now as I look back at that experience, living austerely has its benefits.  Thomas Merton does know what he is talking about!

Cancer is a life changing experience for all who are involved in it.  We have grown closer because of the disease and have I have come to a reality check with my life.   You see, what is important is not how many items you collect, rather what is important is how many lives you touch.   The last few years I have lost touch with my own reality; cancer does have its peculiar benefits.

As the green leaves transition to beautiful autumn colors, we are in a transition mode as well.  What we do for ourselves dies with us.  What we do for others will ever be immortal.  I am honored and proud to be a caregiver, it is one of the most remarkable experiences in life.  I am also grateful for the reality check that our downsizing has provided to us.  May the ‘Little One’s’  health continue to improve; let the downsizing begin!

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In Medicine…East vs. West


As ‘The Little One’ continues to show signs of regaining his strength, we decided to take a detour and visit Dr. Mo this past Saturday.  Who is Dr. Mo you might ask…well Dr. Mo specializes in eastern medicine, specifically acupuncture.   We visited Dr. Mo earlier this year for treatments of sciatica and after four treatments we were pleasantly surprised at the relief ‘The Little One’ received from the acupuncture.   ‘Why not consult with Dr. MO’, we both asked each other this past week. 

While we will not know for a least another month what effect the radiation and chemotherapy has had on the tumor; we know very well that the chemo and radiation has ravished his body, zapped his strength and pretty much turned his life upside down.  Traditional medicine, while proper seems to have a wait and see attitude during this ‘down time’ before the next PET scan.

This attitude was confirmed during my phone consultations with the oncologist and primary care doctor this past week.  The nurse for the oncologist told me over the phone that ‘The doctor normally does not call patients back’…my response to that was simply…’That is odd, don’t you think?’   The primary care doctor referred me back to the oncologist…(they share the same office!).   My response to the primary care doctor was just a tad more direct…”In the patients best interest, one of you needs to be taking the lead in the decision-making.’

That comment rang a bell with me.  The ones who need to take the lead in the decision making are the patient and the caregiver.  While we are all striving for excellency, when it comes right down to it, we are the captions of our own ship.  Authority while respected, is not all-knowing.  There is a reason that medicine is a science.  There are no two bodies alike!

We both know what we are facing with this disease, sometimes you just have to think outside the box.

What do we expect to gain from Dr. MO?  Alternatives, options, hope…just as we expected to gain from the traditional forms of medicine.  Yet not to pursue all options available to us, does not give life a chance.   We both saw the results of the acupuncture in March and April of this past year…why not give it a chance? 

In life…there are plenty alternatives, there are plenty of options, and there is plenty of hope…we just have to engage these options ourselves….rather than waiting for that call to be returned.

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Whew! What a week…and then some!


The ride to St. Louis  was just a tad more difficult than we expected, yet we made it back safe and sound even if we had to spend one additional night on the road.  As we motored in from Illinois, it is was a refreshing sight to see the Gateway Arch ahead.

As we enter our second week back in St. Louis, The Little One has struggled to regain his strength.  The radiation and chemotherapy has literally taken the wind out of his sails.   Some of the simplest things for him to do often takes so much effort.   We do hope that his strength will come back so that he can enjoy some of the simple things in life like listening to his favorite operas

My routine has changed quite a bit, too.  While it is an honor to be a caregiver, the caregiver has to be mindful of their energy level as well.  There is quite a bit of responsibility that goes into caregiving,  none as important as caring for yourself.   I am most fortunate to have a wonderful job and an understanding organization to work for; I am thankful that my Real Estate clients are patient as well.   We know that we are not in this alone.

At least for now, it is clear that The Little One will not be able to stay by himself.  As he regains his strength we can revisit this issue,  but for now it is clear that he will need  supervision as we move forward with this insidious disease.  This is difficult for him because he is so fearlessly independent, yet we all have make adjustments to the hand that was dealt.

We have another three weeks to wait before we go for the follow-up PET scan.   The PET scan will determine the next course of action; we do know that there will be NO more radiation! By all accounts we acknowledge that the tumor has shrunk; yet the physical and mental anguish of these treatments pale in comparison to what an ordeal this has been for ‘The Little One.’

Martin Luther King once said: “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, you just have to take the first step.”   As we move forward, our faith is made stronger by the love and care of our family and friends as we continue to battle this disease!

 

 

 

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