From ‘The Bow Tie Guy’ and ‘The Little One’
We recognize and thank all Caregivers… especially during National Caregivers Month
You see, We Might have Cancer, but Cancer Does Not have us
Tag Archives: advocate
Be A Healthy Caregiver on Blog Talk Radio
Join Chris MacLellan ‘The Bow Tie Guy’ on Tuesday at 1:00pm (est) for ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio with special guest Patrick Cavanaugh from Broward County Elderly and Veterans Services in Broward County Florida
Substance abuse is an issue that is not often discussed as it relates to our senior community. Join us for a friendly conversation with Patrick Cavanaugh with Broward County Elderly and Veterans Services Prevention Program as we discuss substance abuse issues relating to seniors and caregivers.
The Prevention Program activities are directed at older adults 55 years and older. Some are provided to at-risk elders, primarily those experiencing mental health and/or emotional problems, caregivers and the general public. Mr. Cavanaugh interacts and/or provides direct services to older adults in an effort to comprehensively address older adult substance abuse in an integrated manner. Over one thousand consumers per year participate in these services.
You’ll enjoy Mr. Cavanagh’s upbeat and positive attitude, this is someone who really enjoys his work!
Click here to join the show scheduled for Tuesday October 30th at 1:00pm
Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket
‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio
Our inaugural Bow Tie Guy Radio show will air on Blog Talk Radio will on Tuesday October 9th at 1:00 pm. Join us for a friendly conversation with Mark Adler, Associate Executive Director of Broward Meals on Wheels and Monica Pavlik of Senior Health Now. We will be chatting about the importance of health and nutrition with Mark and Monica as we focus on how to be a healthy caregiver.
To Access Tuesday’ show, just click here!
Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket
‘I Do Not Need Any Help…I Have A StepLadder!’
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. Buddha
As Caregivers, more often than not, we pay better attention to the health and well-being of our caree rather than to ourselves; It just goes with the territory. Just the other day, I found ‘The Little One’ pulling out the stepladder to use to reach the upper cabinets (after all he is 5’5”) in our kitchen. Being the over protective caregiver that I am, I immediately balked at his use of the ladder. “What are you doing,” I said! “What does it look like I am doing, putting away the groceries.” He responded. “Not with that ladder you’re not.” The conversation deteriorated from there…
Safety is a big concern for all of us. One harmless fall can put an entire series of health concerns into play. Yet there is a delicate balance between independence and common sense.
Dr. Starcevic with ‘The Little One’
On Friday, ‘The Little One’ had his quarterly check up with his primary care physician, Dr. Starcevic. Dr. Starcevic continues to be amazed at ‘The Little One’s’ progress and stated…”We should review the pathology report because this is truly amazing!” I was gratified when she spoke about how important I was in the progress that he has made over the past year. Of course, he agreed with her 100%. This conversation really helped boost my ego and confidence.
‘The Little One’ highly respects Dr. Starcevic, and I do too. When ‘The Little One’ was in the middle of his chemo and radiation treatments last year, she was the one who determined that he needed to be in the hospital. Not only did she have him admitted, she put him in a wheel chair and took him to the hospital herself! We will never forget that act of kindness on her part.
The Famous Stepladder
During the conversation with Dr. Starcevic, ‘The Little One’ mentioned that he is “extra careful when he walks because he does not want to fall down and break a hip.” As I listened attentively to his words, I could not resist jumping in. “Why don’t you tell Dr. Starcevic how you like to get on stepladders, “ I said! They both turned to me (with different expressions on their face of course) at the same time: then the real conversation ensued about ‘The Little One’s’ safety. The conversation was lively and to the point; it is harder for ‘The Little One’ to dispute Dr. Starcevic than it is me!
Every caregiver wants to ensure that their caree is 100% safe. While I know I cannot be at home 24/7, I also know that I cannot control what ‘The Little One’ does when I am not home. (Like I can really control him when I am at home!) I can hear ‘The Little One’ saying, ‘I can put those cans on that top shelf, I’ve been doing it this way my entire life;’ I get that response and respect it too.
Even as we age, each one of us has that indestructible opinion of ourselves. We do not want to lose our independence, but we also do not want to lose our independence through a fall that is preventable. Sometimes we just need a different messenger, and sometimes we have to realize that our message needs to be tapered. In this case, we learned the meaning of both. Thank goodness for the wonderful work of Dr. Starcevic!
You see…We might have Cancer…But Cancer does not have us!
Related articles
- What A Difference A Year Makes (thepurplejacket.com)
- The ‘Price’ of CareGiving (thepurplejacket.com)
- Ladder Safety (Ol’ Farts Beware) (swittersb.wordpress.com)
Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket
“I’m between 81 and Death!”
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
Mahatma Gandhi
We are three weeks into our FitPass program with Caregiving.com and the group is progressing along just fine. There are so many reasons why we put on weight; stress, poor choices, not seeing food as fuel is just a few of the topics that come up during our FitPass discussions on Monday night. While I have a long way to go in order to sort out why I have put on weight, I am pleased with the loss of 8lbs since we’ve started this program.
It just so happened that the ‘The Little One‘ had his own discussion on health and fitness with a nurse who came to visit him on Monday in our home. This visit was a courtesy of one of the many programs that his insurance plan has for him in Florida. (Hence another reason to be here full-time) While I missed the visit today, I certainly heard about it during our dinner conversation.
“I was given all these instructions on what I should be eating and how I should be eating. While I appreciated the concern and the information I was given, I just looked at her and said...I’m between 81 and death, at this point in my life and what I have been through this past year, what difference does it really make what I eat?” I’m sure he said this in a polite tone.
I mentioned ‘The Little One’s conversation this evening during our FitPass conference call and made the comment, “I’m the one who should have had that conversation today as it is my eating habits and fitness that is out of whack.”
The common denominator here is simple, it is about the perception of one’s quality of life.
‘The Little One’ can never be accused of not having a realistic view of his condition. Yesterday is gone — today is here — not sure about tomorrow. He has admirably lived by this motto for quite some time now. (Remember, he was given 3-4 months to live last October!) Like many people who are diagnosed with a life threatening illness, it’s not uncommon for a conversation to take place about Quality of Life. Quality of Life will have a different meaning for each one each of us. ‘The Little One’ has outlived everyone’s expectations; he is cognizant of what quality of life means to him. Who is it for anyone else to argue with him on this point? At this time in his life, eating one less scoop of ice cream or having one less helping of milk chocolate raisins is not going to do anything for him other than deprive him of a pleasure. I’d say ‘go for it and enjoy!’
Photo Credit: The Purple Jacket
The more I thought about his visit with the nurse, and the more I talked about it with our FitPass group, I realized that I have lost sight of what quality of life means to me. You see, as a Caregiver we get so wrapped up in the needs of our caree, we often forget about our own needs. That extra scoop of ice cream sure feels good when you’ve had a stressful day of Caregiving, work, life etc. However, that does not mean you have to have that extra scoop of ice cream every night!
Photo Credit: Wayne Dyer
In order to make healthy choices, we have to be aware of our options. With that, we have to recognize and own what quality of life means to us as an individual . For ‘The Little One’ that extra scoop of ice cream signifies an accomplishment and truly is a part of his quality of life; he has earned it! For me, my quality of life can not be tied solely to his, for in that, I lose my sense of self. (I.e. Weight Gain) How can I be a good caregiver if I am not taking care of myself?
While the nurse that visited our home on Monday was not there to see me, in reality the message she left…was solely for me!
You see…We might have Cancer…But Cancer does not have us!
Related articles
- Nurses examine caregiver grief (eurekalert.org)
- Improving quality-of-life may help cancer patients: Study (todayonline.com)
- Quality-of-life program may help cancer patients – Reuters (drugstoresource.wordpress.com)
- Occupational Therapy: Get Back to Life After Stroke (everydayhealth.com)
- The Weight of the Matter (thepurplejacket.com)
Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket
Can You Be a Healthy Caregiver?
YES YOU CAN be a healthy caregiver!
Join our TWITTER #carefit chat tonight at 8 pm ET with
Denise Brown @caregiving
and
Chris MacLellan @thebowtieguy
Find us on Twitter TONIGHT August 20th 8:00 PM #carefit
We’ll discuss how to stay healthy as you care.
HOW TO GET FROM
THERE
HERE
TO
and maintain a healthy lifestyle while you care !
Related articles
- Why I Support AB 2039 (caregiving.com)
- NBC to Highlight Caregiving – And My Family! (aarp.org)
- NBC Highlights Caregiving Campaign – And My Family! (aarp.org)
Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket
On Borrowed Time?
I decided to try something different this evening with my blog post… I am using Dragon Naturally Speaking to post my blog this evening. I have come to the realization that I am much better at speaking than I am at typing: this just might be a better way for me to communicate my thoughts, feelings and emotions as I moved forward with ‘The Purple Jacket.” So far so good!
Jewish Halo
This past week, The Little One had his appointment with the oncologist. What was amazing about this appointment was that I did not feel the need, nor did I have the time to go to the appointment with him. Now the ‘Mother Hen’ in me worried all morning about the whereabouts of “The Little One” yet I knew deep down inside me that could handle the oncologist, handle the drive down to the office and be independent. He did not get to be 81 without some form of independence!
Just as is the primary care doctor was encouraged at his progress, so was the oncologist. It just so happens that the oncologist and the primary care doctor
share the same office space; this convenient for sharing information between staff and doctors. The other benefit of this location in that the chemotherapy treatments is on the site, too! This setup has made easier, not only for “The Little One”, but for all the patients that these physicians see on a regular basis.
The oncologist continued to spread good cheer, good health and well-being for “The Little One.” As I mentioned in my last blog post, the oncologist had projected 3 or 4 months to live after the initial diagnosis and subsequent treatments. While he is pleased to be proven wrong, statistically speaking, the cure rate for esophageal cancer is one of the lowest there is. If we are going solely by the book, then 3 to 4 months is correct.
It is understandable why a diagnosis like this would be attached to such a short lifespan. That being said, we forged ahead mindful of the pitfalls, yet striving for the best possible results. We never want to rule out hope!
I guess what amazes me the most about this visit to the oncologist is not the fact that we all recognize that the little one has far exceeded anyone’s expectations; it’s why is the doctor felt like he has to end this positive visit with the words…”You know you’re on borrowed time!”
Photo Credit: Pinterest
Granted I was not there for this conversation, and I have no reason to doubt what “The Little One” has told me in regards to this conversation. Yet, I am not sure what the purpose of comments like this does for a patient, for a caregiver or for the physician themselves? Throughout this whole ordeal, we have taken a positive approach to dealing with the effects of cancer. We could sulked, we could have played the blame game, we could have gone into denial… However, what good would that have done for either one of us? That’s just like saying…”you know we’re on borrowed time.”
I do not claim to be a doctor, I do not claim to be a clinician, but I do believe that I understand how a positive outlook and healthy communication can have a soothing and healing effect on the mind, on the body, and of the spirit when dealing with critical health issues. When you think about it, we are all on borrowed time, yet does a cancer patient really need to be reminded of that?
Photo Credit: Pinterst
The healing power of body, mind and spirit plays such an important role in overcoming physical (and mental) illness. To use a sports metaphor, the best defense is usually a good offense. The best way to deal with a diagnosis of cancer is to be as realistic and honest as possible. Our best offense was to plunge full force When I look at this comment from the oncologist in this light, I can understand it. Yet to presuppose a diagnosis without the addition of hope, only leads us to despair. Reality is painful enough, more so without the effects of hope!
Sometimes Just Being There is all we need
Through this experience, I am convinced that one of the key tools in transmitting hope and reality, is the ability to be an empathetic communicator. Calmly… Empathy transmits hope and reality. I don’t think that there is anymore that we can ask for when dealing with the stark reality of Cancer or any other disabling illness.
You see…We Might Have Cancer…But Cancer Does Not Have Us!
Photo Credit: ‘The Bow-Tie-Guy”
Related articles
- Amazement! (thepurplejacket.com)
- Does Your Oncologist Care About Your Quality of Life? (psychologytoday.com)
- Cancer patients urged to exercise (standard.co.uk)
Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket
Blog Talk Radio 10:00am EST LGBT Caregiving
Join me this morning at 10:00 am EST on Blog Talk Radio, host be Denise Brown as we discuss LGBT Caregiving
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/caregiving/2012/06/30/table-talk-chris#.T-75DBSGmaQ.email
Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket
A Night with ‘Harriet Craig’
This past weekend, we took the opportunity to motor to Mount Dora, Florida. Funny how the last two weekends have developed for us; two weekends ago we were on the verge of heading to the hospital, this past weekend, we are traveling to Mount Dora. It is difficult to know just what to expect when you are dealing with cancer.
Photo Credit: The Bow-Tie-Guy
Why Mount Dora, Florida you ask? Going back to their days in Manhattan, ‘The Little One’ has a friend of 60+ years living in Mount Dora. Mount Dora is a little town just north of Orlando, known for its quaint antique shops. It is a beautiful town and surprisingly, has plenty of things to do. But this was not a weekend for tourism, this was a weekend of storytelling and laughter!
With over 60 years of friendship behind them, the conversation was unrestrained. Names from the past, (celebrities to boot!) stories that never ended. To them, yesterday was today and tomorrow will come: it was a beautiful experience. Finally the name…’Harriet Craig’ was blurted out and the laughter got more pronounced. Harriet Craig was a nickname given to ‘The Little Ones’ friend years ago because of his constant need to clean the apartment he shared in Manhattan with his partner of over 40 years. Apparently, ‘Harriet’ just could not stand a dirty ashtray, one flick of the ash and up Harriet would go to clean the tray; always in constant motion, always on top of the conversation. Once I learned why Harriet Craig, I understood the connection to the character in the movie as the villa was in impeccable condition! As we moved on to dinner, it was easy to see who was in charge…Harriet Craig!
Photo Credit: Wikipedia
Harriet Craig is a 1950 movie played by the legendary Joan Crawford. The movie credits go like this… ‘Domineering Harriet Craig holds more regard for her home and its possessions than she does for any person in her life. Neurotic perfectionist Harriet Craig (Crawford) makes life miserable for everyone around her.’ While the description of the character in the movie does not accurately depict ‘The Little Ones’ friend, the metaphor is there in order to create the ‘sting.’
I was told that I was not old enough and privileged enough to call him ‘Harriet Craig!’
Their stories sounded quite familiar to that what you would hear today. If you are a ‘Sister’ you know what I mean. Long standing friends reminiscing about their past, grateful for their partners, their friendship and their freedom to be who they are. Gay Marriage, Equal Rights and the sorts, all talked about in their day, just not in the volume that we hear today.
Yet…Who Are They?
They are two close friends, in separate (gay) relationships, lasting over 40 years each, which is quite the accomplishment, no matter what side of the fence you are on! Yet these accomplishments often go unnoticed in our society as we here more about what’s wrong with gay relationships than what’s right about gay relationships. They are your uncles, cousins, they are your friends…
Who Are They?
Photo Credit: Unknown
They are your neighbor right next door. We have all heard the phrase…’home is where the heart is.’ That phrase applies to everyone’s home, not just a selected few.
Our friend in Mount Dora is just a few years older than ‘The Little One’, leads an active life, accepted by his cohorts, active in his neighborhood, has dinner with his neighbors and volunteers at hospice. He is your neighbor.
Who Are They?
Stonewall Inn 1969 Photo Credit Diane Davies
They are two men who lived not only during the time of the Stonewall Riots, they lived in the mist of the Stonewall Riots where friends of them were killed just for being who they are. The riots inspired LGBT people throughout the country to organize in support of gay rights, and within two years after the riots, gay rights groups had been started in nearly every major city in the United States. They are your pioneers…
This weekend, when you see all the stores on the news about Gay Pride weekend, remember those Gay Seniors who live alone and cannot get to the parade. Remember those Gay Seniors who still live in fear; Remember those gay seniors who lived and worked in the trenches in order to bring LGBT equality issues of today to the forefront.
And finally, remember the thousand upon thousand of Gay Seniors who have lived their life in committed and long lasting relationships only to be denied their equal rights.
Who Are They?
They are your American Seniors, who just happen to be Gay.
Photo Credit: Webshots
You See…‘We might have Cancer; but Cancer does not have us!’
Photo Credit: The Bow-Tie-Guy
Related articles
- Politics & Pride: Learning from Our History (bilerico.com)
- New York Pride Week 2012 (travelwyse.wordpress.com)
- AIDS Walk Benefit: Stonewall Riots Anniversary (kfor.com)
- Film fest kicks off gay pride month (thehindu.com)
- History in a small town (queerlandia.com)
- Communities of One? (thepurplejacket.com)
Filed under Caregiving
The Purple Jacket 