With no test scheduled until the middle of March, we look ahead thankful for the break from the radiation and chemotherapy, yet concerned as we move forward. Cancer takes so much out of everyone; its not a disease that leaves quietly, but rather lingers on in our mist. Treatments are a necessity; aftereffects are unknown.
“The Little One” reminds me on a day to day basis that he has lost a step or two. Not wanting to admit it, but I see it too. We hold out so much hope for a full recovery, and in our mind and in our hearts, we know we have been given extended stay. Why not make the most of it, even if its just a step or two slower?
Giving up control is such a hard thing to do. (Where is that Tumor Extractor when you need it!) One of the hardest things to do as a Caregiver is to give up control, but this is an essential element of being a caregiver. We want to take control of the disease, take control of the loved one, take control of everything in our paths in order to provide the utmost care. Yet it is when we give up control that we really care: What is here today, is gone tomorrow. Yet in our thoughts and in our prayers, we only want to do what is best.
“The Little One” knows that he has lost a step or two; who wouldn’t after having 30 radiation treatments to go along with 6 sessions of Chemotherapy? I see it, too…but that does not detour us. There will be good days, there will be bad days and there will be more days of beauty. We can only go by how the day takes us, which in turn means giving up control and being free from what binds us!
The Purple Jacket 