Tag Archives: Caregiving

Managing Your Caregiving Day


Join us on Wednesday, March 11th at 7 pm EST on HealthCafeLive.com as we welcome Amy Goyer and Toula Wootan to Healing Ties Radio.  Both accomplished Authors, Public Speakers, and recognized as Caregiving experts, Amy and Toula blend their own personal caregiving story with soothing words of wisdom to help us manage our Caregiving day.  On Wednesday’s show, we’ll chat about 5 important priorities and lessons learn to help all Caregivers manager their day. No matter where you are on your Caregiving journey, be it ‘Juggling Work and Caregiving’ or finding those ‘Love Stories and Timeless Tips’, Amy and Toula are two family Caregivers who know the meaning of care.   Listen in and learn how Amy Goyer and Toula Wootan are creating Healing Ties all around us!

 To listen live at 7:00 pm (EST) simply click here! 

Not available to listen live?  NO WORRIES!  All our episode are are available on our Healing Ties iHeart Channel by clicking here! 

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One Year Later


Love Has No Age; Love Has No Limits; Love Has No Death!

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Photo Credit: Carline Jean Sun-Sentinel

 

The year of ‘firsts’ is coming to an end, so it seems fitting that I publish this post today,  March 9, 2015  at 1:20 pm.  As Diane Lade so eloquently wrote on April 13, 2014 in her Pulitzer Prize nominated story; “Richard loved opera and classical music, and they were lsc_the-mikadolistening to the joyful finale of Gilbert and Sullivan’s “The Mikado”: The threatened cloud has passed away, and fairly shines the dawning day! What though the night may come too soon, we’ve years and years of afternoon. From his seat at the table, Chris suddenly looked at the hospital bed across the room. Chris saw Richard shrug and turn his head toward him. At 1:20 p.m. on March 9, 2014, on a sunny Sunday afternoon, Bernard Richard Schiffer died.” 1.

Richard loved opera, in fact, I remember him taking me to my first opera, ‘Madam Butterfly’ in 2006.  “This will be a good first opera for you because it is not too heavy.” Of course, the sentimental side of me said upon leaving the theater that evening, “You didn’t tell me it was going to be such a sad ending.”  He just smiled and laughed at me as we walked down the sidewalk for dinner.  It was fitting that we were listening to Opera on that ‘sunny Sunday afternoon’ as Richard spirit was lifted up, pain-free for eternity.

My year of ‘firsts’ has had its ups and downs.  We move on with our heads held high, taking the good days with the bad, the bad days with the good, and all that goes on in-between.  I’m still trying to find my place in my year of ‘firsts.’ Leaving my job at Sun-Serve, spending extended time in New Orléans,  going out on my own with my radio show, Healing Ties on iHeart Radio,   learning the group cruise business, becoming theNational Caregiving Advocate for Answers for Elders . com all of which has proved to be a challenge, but very rewarding too. Yet there is that empty feeling which seems to linger, and never go away.  So many of you, near and far, have been so kind and so supportive.  I find so much comfort from your thoughtfulness.

As I reflect today on my life with Richard, I can sum it up into one sentence…I am lucky to be loved in the way that I am loved by him.  Unlike Madam Butterfly, we did not have a sad ending, just a new beginning, it is the adjustment period that makes this year of ‘firsts’ so difficult at times.  As I have written before, my faith tells me that I will see him again, my mind tells me that he is forever pain-free, and my heart tells me that he is right next to me. Because in the end, just as in the beginning, love is the winner!

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1. Lade, D., & Jean, C. (2014, April 13). In Sickness and In Health: A Couple’s Final Journey. Sun-Sentinel. Retrieved from http://interactive.sun-sentinel.com/lgbt-dying-couple/

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Gail Gibson Hunt from the National Alliance for Caregiving on Healing Ties Radio


 

Join us on Wednesday, February  25th at 7 pm EST on HealthCafeLive.com as we welcome the President and Chief Executive Officer of the National Alliance for Caregiving, Gail Gibson Hunt, to our show. Established in 1996, the National Alliance for Caregiving is a non-profit coalition of      national organizations focused on improving the lives of family caregivers. As Caregivers, we are often faced with the task of managing our Caree’s health during a variety of stages. But what about managing the Caregivers health and well-being?  Recognized as a national expert on family  caregiving and long-term care,  Gail has a keen understanding of the issues Caregivers and their Caree’s face on a daily basis.  Listen in and learn how Gail and the entire staff at the     National Alliance for Caregiving are creating “Healing Ties” all around us!

 To listen live at 7:00 pm (est) simply click here!

Not available to listen live?  NO WORRIES!  All of our episodes of Healing Ties are available on demand at our iHeart Radio Channel by clicking  here!

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Advocacy Heals U on Healing Ties Radio


Join us for another episode  of ‘Healing Ties’ Radio LIVE on Wednesday February 18th at 7:00 pm (est)  on HealthCareLive.com as we welcome Joni Aldrich and Chris Jerry to our program!

Webster defines advocacy “as the act or process of supporting a cause or purpose.” Both accomplished authors, public speakers and radio show host themselves, Joni and Chris’ story is compelling and heart-felt.  Listen in and learn about their journey to advocacy, their new upcoming book along with  announcing our Advocacy Heals U cruise in September 2015!

Joni and Chris are two people who are creating ‘Healing Ties’ all around us!

To listen live on Wednesday February 18 at 7:00 pm, simply click HERE!

Cannot listen live…NO WORRIES! ‘Healing Ties’ is available on demand on our ‘Healing Ties’ channell on iHeart radio by clicking HERE!

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Joni Aldrich and Chris Jerry

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Answers for Elders on Healing Ties Radio


Join us on Wednesday, January 28th  at 7 pm EST on HealthCafeLive.com as we welcome   Suzanne Perkins-Newman and Diane Rossow from Answers for Elders.  Finding trusted resources can be one of the most difficult components a family Caregiver faces on a daily basis.  But what if there was one website that could connected you to trusted professionals that was developed by a family caregiver,  for the family caregiver?  That website is already here! Answers for Elders.com is all about empowering family Caregivers, and is the ultimate source for navigating senior care to help family Caregivers manage their day!  Listen in and learn how  Answers for Elders.com is creating ‘Healing Ties’ all around us!

To listen live on Health Cafe LIVE.com simply click here!

Can’t listen live?  NO WORRIES!!!  Healing Ties is available on demand on our iHeart Radio channel by clicking here! Healing_Ties_Jan28_2015

 

 

 

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Life AFTER Caregiving


 

 

 

Join us on Wednesday, January 21st at 7 pm EST on HealthCafeLive.com as we welcome back, by popular demand, Adrienne Gruberg from The Caregiver Space! Let’s face it, life AFTER caregiving is an adjustment. Not only are their legal issues to consider, there is also the task of getting back to life, a life that is different from what we once knew. On Wednesday, Adrienne and I will share our experience of adjusting to live AFTER Caregiving; the grieving process,  reentering life and beginning again. This will be an upbeat conversation with tools you can use in order to create Healing Ties all around you!

To listen LIVE at 7:00 pm click here!

Cannot listen live?  NO WORRIES!  Healing Ties is available ON DEMAND on our iHeart Radio Channel by clicking here!

 

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Washing Away 2014 With One Last Toast


When love is at its best, one loves so much that he cannot forget.  Helen Hunt Jackson

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New Years Eve Toast 2013. Photo Credit: Carline Jean Sun-Sentinel

Last week during the Christmas holiday, we took a drive down memory lane and visited all the beautiful lights on Ocean Drive in Palm Beach and Broward County.  The outpouring of support from those two blog post is most appreciate.

As we move into the New Year, I do not want to forget about 2014, but I do want to wash it away.  Healing and grieving is different for everyone who has gone through the loss of a loved one.  Grieving would not be hard if love was not involved. Healing would be next to impossible without family and friends like you!

This year, I have decided not to make any new year resolutions, but rather to make some new year commitments.  In 2015, I will commit to taking better care of myself, including my physical, emotional, spiritual and financial self.  There is no secret weapon or path to accomplish this; taking better care of myself is something that is important to my healing process.   Caregivers understand that the last person who gets care, is the Caregiver.  Now, it is time for me to embark on a new caregiving role; caring for myself.

In 2015, I will continue to advocate for Caregivers and their Caree’s through my new radio show, Healing TiesTieHands on Health Cafe Life.com and iHeart Radio.  Our downloadshow on iHeart is listed under the Health section and there are already 10 shows up for you to listen to by simply clicking here!   (Listen in and be sure to click on the heart!)  I will keep blogging on ‘The Purple Jacket’ as this spot is reserved for TLO and all of our friends and followers who have been supportive over WholeCareNetworkthe years.  Early in 2015, I will introduce a new website, Healing Ties which will feature information about the radio show while introducing you to the Whole Care Network.  The new site is still in the development process, but you can take a quick look at the new website by clicking here!  Your feedback and opinion on the new website is most appreciated!  Our new website will highlight the Whole Care Network  which will be a bevy of referrals and references to help you create Healing Ties in your life and in your community.

There are three eBooks in the works and one major book, about our caregiving story, ‘In Sickness and In Health: A Couple’s Final Journey’ is in the works, too. image004Early in 2015 you’ll see posting about group cruises for Caregivers, especially for those Caregivers who have lost a spouse or a partner.  It is time for us to come together in celebration, in care, in commitment and in love, to support and be there for each other. There are some other exciting opportunities that are presenting themselves as we move forward in 2015, I will be sure to keep you in the loop! It is going to be a busy year with workshops and presentations across the country: remember I am making a new year commitment,  not a new year resolution!

IMG_47020763026057 I do not have any fancy words or sage advice today, that’s never been our style here on The Purple Jacket; I simply write from the aspect of love, care and commitment which seems to fit just fine.  As I wash away 2014, I toast you, and thank you for being with us on this journey.  One thing this past year has taught me is to live in the moment: Funny TLO used to tell me that all the time!  So as we bring in the new year, I am thankful for the love that we shared, thankful for the life with TLO, and ready and willing to move forward, just as he wanted me to do.

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“I love the photo that includes your rear view mirror – you brought your past into the present last night.” Denise Brown from Aftergiving.com

I leave you with this wonderful quote  brought to you by my good friend, Denise Brown from Caregiving.com and Aftergiving.com ” I love the photo that includes your rear view mirror–you brought your past into the present last night.” I did not get the symbolism of this picture until Denise pointed it out to me, I am so thankful to Denise for her insight! Why? Because, I never want to forget about the past, yet life moves forward, not back.  Love is what shapes us: Love will never be washed away! 

Blessed and Happy New Year to you and your family! 

 

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That Ride Down Memory Lane


Love has no age, no limit; and no death ~ John Galsworthy

 I started the journey down memory lane on Christmas eve just before 7:00 pm.  First stop was the beach front in Palm Beach, Fl., just across the street from

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Beach Front: Palm Beach, FL.

where TLO and I had dinner last year.  No sure how I was going to react once I arrived at the scene to start of my journey, I took my tablet along and sat out on the beach as I knew my friend, Denise Brown was hosting a 36 hour chat on her wonderful website,  Caregiving.com for Caregivers who might need an extra support over the holidays.   While it took me a few minutes to log-on from my tablet, I was happy to find R.M. as the guest host.  Like me, R.M. has experienced  the loss of her husband; we had a great conversation which lasted close to 45 minutes:  R.M.’s conversation and comfort was just what I needed to meander down the road!  (By the way, if you have not visited Caregiving.com or Aftergiving.com, you’ll find a great supportive community there, I suggest you visit both website by clicking the hyperlink above!)

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Christmas Lights on Ocean Dr

With Christmas Carol’s playing on the satellite radio, I headed south on Ocean Drive  as so many wonderful, and happy memories filled my time on the road.  Of course I missed his physical presence in the car, that gentle caress of his hand on mine.  Heck, I even missed his opinion, or two!  Seeing those beautiful lights on Ocean Drive reminded me how memories of love last a lifetime. Then it hit me…Death does not change love!  Sure, I may not remember something as mundane as how the Christmas lights were displayed in front of these homes in previous years, but I do remember how special our drives up and down Ocean Drive were to us was because our drives were apart of the love we shared together.

Just the other day I was at a party and was asked, “How long should someone grieve.”  Puzzled, I replied, “do you want the standard therapeutic  answer or one from the heart. Oh, I know the standard therapeutic answer, but I want to know your answer, since you’ve allowed so many people into your story.” My reply was simply this: “Just as love is unique between two people, so will be how one will deal with their own healing and grieving.  There is no time-table, there is no recipe for grief other than just to own it, embrace it and at least forwpid-wp-1419525578309.jpeg me, talk about it, because in time, it will get better.”
After talking to R.M. in the Caregiving.com chat room, I thought about this conversation last night  as I motored down the road on Ocean Drive. I think it was kind-of-like one of those  ‘AH-HA’ moment that we experience from time to time that lit a light bulb in my head, turned up my spirits, and reminded me to be thankful for what I had, rather than sad for what I think that I have lost: Death does not change love.
Yes, I have lost his physical presence in my life, but that doesn’t mean that I have lost his love in my life.  That was the big distinction

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Hugs and Love last forever

that I learned on my on Christmas Eve. When in the midst of healing and grieving, sometimes we need a trip down memory lane to help create our Healing Ties.

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Going For A Ride on Christmas Eve


 Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

 Holiday HugsOne of the many things that I have missed this holiday season is the rides TLO and  I took to see the beautiful Christmas lights up and down Ocean Drive in Palm Beach and Broward County, Florida.  Usually our drives were filled with lots of chatter, or gossip, depending  on your point of view.  Yet one thing that we did during these rides that I miss the most is simply holding hands.  There is so many ways to express love, yet there is nothing more basic, more real, than to hold hands.  That gentle touch which bringshands comfort in so many ways, is missing this holiday season.
Christmas eve was always our special night.  Whether our pocket books were flush or not, we always made that evening, our evening.  We would sit down and plan for weeks about what posh restaurant where we would make our reservation.  Yet no matter20111225-083458.jpg where we decided to have dinner on Christmas eve, we always made plans to end the evening with a drive down Ocean Drive to see the Christmas lights.  Of course a nice ice cream cone was in order too!
I have not taken a drive down Ocean Drive this holiday season.  Yet I think I am going to take that ride on Christmas eve as a way to remember…as a way to celebrate our life together, as a way to create my own Healing Ties, but most of all, I am going to take that ride just to be thankful  for having the experience of love and being loved.  Caregiving is over for us; but love endures forever and love does make the ride worthwhile.
To all who are grieving this holiday season, I wish you peace, comfort and lots of Holiday Hugs!

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Holiday Progressive Blog Party with Caregiving.com


One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

blog_party_2014_350Welcome to the 2014 Holiday Progressive Blog party with Caregiving.com.  This is the third year that ‘The Purple Jacket’ has participated in the progressive holiday blog party; this event is always a great way to connect with old friends and new ones who are on their Caregiving journey. One of the many great things about being part of the extended family at Caregiving.com is the ability to connect with people from all over the world who instantly understand your caregiving plight.  Caregivers have this innate ability to understand each others journey, even when the paths are different.

There is still time to join Caregiving.com holiday progressive blog party by clicking here! 

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Christmas 2011

For those who are visiting The Purple Jacket for the first time…Welcome! For those friends who have been here before, it is great to see you again! I know many of you realize that this years Holiday Progressive Blog Party has a much different meaning for me.   So with that, here is a new description for The Purple Jacket.

The Purple Jacket is a real-life Caregiving blog about two people who were partners in life, Chris MacLellan and Bernard Richard Schiffer. Richard lost his battle with cancer on March 9th, 2014: Cancer was not the winner, Love was the winner! Now that our Caregiving journey has ended, The Purple Jacket is dedicated in memory to Richard, and to all Caregivers who have lost the one they loved, because in the end, Love, Care and Commitment is the same for any two people who are joined together as one.

Now, I am learning to be a caregiver to myself.  This new journey I find myself on is filled with some of the same bumpy roads, yet with a different twist or two along the way.  Yet what is constant is the continuous love, care and support I receive from all my Caregiving friends from around the world and I thank Denise Brown and my extended family at Caregiving.com and Aftergiving.com for that comfort.

What am I up to now?  Well, I have a new radio show, ‘Healing Ties’ from “The Bow Tie Guy” on Health Cafe LIVE.com and on On Demand at  iHeart Radio.  (You’ll see all the information on the main page of the Purple Jacket) I am starting to blog again on The Purple Jacket and on AfterGiving.com and later in 2015, I will be leading some groups cruises for Caregivers and those who like me, are no longer Caregivers.

But one thing is for sure, no matter where my next Caregiving journey takes me, my roots will always come back to my extended family at Caregiving.com, for without you, TLO and I knew that we were never, ever alone!

Follow the YOU TUBE link below to a video tribute to Richard for Aftergiving.com…I hope you like it!

http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL3HlZbStqGaQ7MZk94ws0XugLQdcaKkoQ

Wishing you and yours a wonderful Holiday Blog Party and joyful holiday season!

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January 2014

 

 

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