Thursday’s are always ‘Hug A Family Caregiver Day!’


Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul ~Democritus.

Caregiving can sometimes be hard…

But Hugging a Family Caregiver is easy!

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Caregiving Heart

Be on the look out for my new radio show, “Healing Ties” from ‘The Bow Tie Guy”  

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Tips on Effectively Balancing your Professional Life and Caring for Your Aging Parents


Today I am pleased to welcome a guest blogger on ‘The Purple Jacket’ , Fiona Jameson.

Tips on Effectively Balancing your Professional Life and Caring for Your Aging Parents

There comes a time in life when you will need to help care for your aging parents. While many aging people prefer to maintain their independence as much as possible, most will welcome the help. It will be hard with your busy professional life and family of your own, but with a little help and a few tips the balancing act will be easier to accomplish. When the aid that your aging parents needs is more than you are able to provide, respite care may be the best answer.

blog1Move your Parents into your Home

In some cases, it is easier to help your parents and maintain their independence as much as possible is to move them in with you. This may mean purchasing a new house, making a few renovations or updating a few things to make it comfortable for them. When aging parents live with their children and their families, someone is around a good amount of the time to help them with their needs.

Schedule Meal Deliveries

Several meal delivery services and private chefs can be accessed to ensure that your aging parents eat balanced meals. If you do not have a work schedule that coincides with their eating schedule, having meals delivered to them daily, or even weekly, will provide them with that nutrition. All they will have to do is warm up the items in the microwave or in the oven and it is ready to eat.

blog2Consider Assisted Living Situations

In order to help your parents maintain a good amount of their independence, ask them to consider moving to an assisted living community. Here they will have access to medical staff in case of an emergency and can get assistance with cleaning, laundry and other items if needed. These communities are safe areas with many having security cameras and entrance gates. Within these communities are other aging persons that your parents can bond with.

Visiting your parents can be done anytime you’d like, since the living areas are like them having an apartment of their own. It is one of the easier ways to manage their care and be able to help them with things like getting to doctor’s appointments, grocery shopping and picking up medication. It will be less stressful for you since worrying about their well-being will be less of a burden.

Look into Hiring a Caregiver

If you have spoken with your parents and they refuse to move into your home or consider an assisted living situation, offer to help find a caregiver that can come daily, or a few times per week. This can be someone to come in and clean, cook meals or just provide companionship. A caregiver can also drive your parents to appointments, activities, entertainment, grocery shopping and anywhere else they need or want to go. It helps both you and your parents. The weekends, of course, should be the time when you take time away from work to spend with your parents helping them with maintenance, talking and whatever else they might want to do.

blog3Spend Weekends Helping Them

When your professional life doesn’t leave time for you to visit and help your aging parents as much as you’d like, be sure to set time aside on the weekends for them. If they are still living in their own home, cut the grass in the summer months and help maintain flower beds, vegetable gardens and their home. While it may seem like having a second job, a few hours a day on the weekends makes all the difference in the world. They spent their lives raising you and your siblings, it’s now the job of the children to help take care of them. It shows a great appreciation for your parents and can add to the longevity of their lives.

 Consider Respite Care

If in-home care and assisted living situations are absolutely out of the question, a respite situation may be needed. As parents age, they can become ill, frail and unable to take care of themselves. This may also be something that is far beyond what you are able to provide. A respite situation ensures that your parents will be well cared for. They will have exercise, balanced meals, companionship and their medications distributed at specific times daily. Many respite facilities also have activities, crafts and social events for residents to partake in. This helps keep them feeling like there is a purpose to fight and stay stubborn.

blog4Get Other Family Members Involved

Even with a busy professional life, there are other members in the family that can help care for your aging parents. Your children can be taken to visit for a few hours during the week to share what is going on in school and listen to stories told by your parents. Siblings and spouses can also do their part to help out by taking turns going to help out for a little bit each day after their days are done. When some of the tasks are taken off of your shoulders, balancing your career and caring for your parents is absolutely possible.

 Parental care is something that every family has to face at some point. It is up to the members of the family to work out a schedule to help them. You can balance your career and take on all of the responsibilities yourself if you wish. Use the tips above to make balancing your professional life and caring for your parents easier.

  •  Fiona Jameson is a Psychology major. Since her college, she has actively taken part in a lot of social service programs which further enhanced her urge to help out the elderly and disabled. Over the years, she has closely worked as a consultant with several philanthropic organizations, guiding those who need her help.

 

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Thursday’s are always ‘Hug A Caregiver Day’


In 2014 commit yourself to Smile more; Laugh longer; Let Go of Stress! 

Caregiving can sometimes be hard,  but hugging a Caregiver is easy! 

Thursday’s are alwaysHug A Caregiver Day! 

There is an esteemed 60= Million Family Caregiver in the United States today, Find one and give them a Hug!

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Christopher MacLellan, affectionately known as ‘The Bow Tie Guy,  is a family Caregiver and blogs about his Caregiving experience at ‘The Purple Jacket.’  Chris is also the coordinator of Senior Services for SunServe Social Services and the host of his new radio show’ Healing Ties,  starting in late January 2014.

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Thursday’s are always ‘Hug A Caregiver Day!’


The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it. ~ Mother Teresa 

Give the gift that keeps on givingGive a Caregiver a Holiday Hug this year! 

Holiday Hugs

 Remember… Caregiving can sometimes be hard…But Hugging a Caregiver is easy! 

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Be on the look out for my new radio show in January called…”Healing Ties ” from 

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Music Is The Best Medicine


One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain!  ~ Bob Marley

violinMy first experience with music therapy was when I was completing a unit of clinical pastoral  education with hospice way back in 2003.   The positive impression that was left on me from that experience is still prevalent today.   So when the phone rang the other day from a good friend from St. Louis alerting me that a violinist wanted to come to the house and play for ‘TLO,’ I jumped at the opportunity.

One of ‘TLO’ great love, is music.  Growing up in New York, and living in download2Manhattan, TLO loved going to Broadway shows while enjoying the Arts and Culture that the city that never sleeps has to offer.  Thinking about a game of trivia that is focused on Broadway shows and opera, you will want ‘TLO’ on your team!  I have had the pleasure of watching him stump some of the great minds in music when a question or two would come up about a particular production or piece of music.   I know my place when the conversation turns to Broadway, opera and music.

One of the frustrating aspects for ‘TLO’ during his recent bout with cancer and the subsequent radiation treatments has been his lack of interests in some of his favorite hobbies, especially music. Always one to turn the Bose stereo on high to listen to one of his collections of  CD’s, ‘TLO’  has not had any interest in listening to his music for quite some time now.  However the opportunity to have someone play live for  ‘TLO’ was just too good to pass up, even if the logistics were a nightmare.  Even with last-minute notice, I was going to do my best to make this happen.

Caregivers will certainly understand how frustrating multi-tasking and juggling schedulesJuggling-Balls-dreamstime_m_20640953-2-e1341219298812 can be while trying to make multiple things happen at once.   That was my plight  when this kind offer came in for ‘TLO.’   With 70 coming to our monthly Silver Serve luncheon on the same day the violinist wanted to come to our home, the window of opportunity was short in order to make this ‘concert’ happen.  However,  we solved the logistic problem by inviting the violinist to meet us at the Silver Serve Luncheon where not only did the Violinist play for “TLO,” he wowed the entire group with his splendid violin music.  It was a win/win for everyone!

Those who know ‘TLO’ well know that he is not shy about sharing his opinion, in fact, I have often wondered why he never was a critic for the  New York Times!  Yet this one-act of kindness simply bowled him over.  “I have to admit that I really enjoyed the violinist:  That was so kind of him to play for me” TLO said.  “I was pretty amazed too,” I responded

Kindness comes in a variety of ways.  Our friend Bob in St. Louis knew that ‘TLO’ would enjoy a ‘private’ concert.  Bob connected us with Joshi;  Using his gift and talent in music,photo 2 (1) Joshi (who was visiting from Boston) went out of his way to bring a sense of happiness and joy to a man whom he had never met. “I understand your partner is ill with cancer, I want to come to your home and play music for him so that he might feel better,” Yoshi said to me on the phone that morning.  I will never forget his initial phone call!

 Yoshi’s random act of kindness reminded me how important it is for all of us to share our talents with each other.  It is so easy to get caught up in the emotion of our Caregiving experience that when something that is so unexpected happens to us, we are caught off guard.  I’m not sure we will ever cross paths with Joshi again, yet I do know that he has left an impression on us that will last a lifetime.

                                                                                            Because in the end, only kindness matters!

Kindness Matters

  You see,  We might have Cancer But Cancer does not have us! 

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Thursday’s are always ‘Hug A Caregiver Day!’


You must do things that you think that you cannot do ~ Eleanor Roosevelt  

Caregiving can sometimes be hard:

But Hugging a Caregiver is easy!

thursdays

encouraging-words-for-caregivers

Caregiving Heart

Listen to: 

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‘”Be A Healthy Caregiver” is on hiatus while “TLO” is undergoing radiation treatments.  We plan on being back on the Air in January!

Can’t listen live…NO WORRIES!

All of our episodes of ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ are archived for your listening convenience by clicking here! 

 

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The Second Time Around


The only source of knowledge is  experience ~ Albert Einstein 

supportIt has taken me a couple of days to wrap myself around the fact that TLO started Adult Day Care this week.  We have chatted about this option for a number of weeks, but to have this day come to  reality, really hit home for both of us on Tuesday when we got in the car and motored our way down to the Noble A. McArtor Adult Day Care Center.  

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Herman and TLO; Circa 1998

We both have had  previous experienced Adult Day Care, so we were coming from the knowledge of experience, yet that knowledge was just about to turn into our reality as we headed south on highway 95.  “Herman wouldn’t go to Day Care; I finally asked him to at least go for a week, to test it out, to give it a try, to at least help me out” TLO said!  “I guess that is exactly what we are doing today, too!” I responded!   (It has to be that knowledge and experience thing!)

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TLO and Michael Norfleet, Agency Director

As we arrived at the center, we were greeted warmly by the staff and the participants.  It wasn’t too long before the agency’s director, Michael Norfleet came to meet us, we chatted for a bit and then before I knew it, they were both sitting in the lounge chairs, chatting up a storm.  It was then that I knew that the day was on…and time for me to make my quick exit! It was also then when they day actually hit me square in the eye and I started to cry.

I have no doubt that the McArtor Center is the best place for both of us. Established in 2004, The McArtor Center focus is to meet the needs of the LGBT community Noble_McArtor_logo2_140in Broward County, Florida and the center is the first of its kind! In the LGBT community, many seniors in need of daytime or respite care have no option but to attend day care programs that are not open to, and understanding of the special relationships and needs of gay and lesbian seniors. The Noble A. McArtor Center was founded by an extraordinary team of individuals whose vision created a safe, open and home-like atmosphere for all seniors and their caregivers to enjoy, regardless, and supportive of any sexual orientation or identification, race, age, gender, religion or economic level.

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Fr Orlando celebrates his 58th anniversary of his ordination at the Center 2005. Helen and Sonia remain good friends of mine today!

Yet, there is more to the history… More to the knowledge… More to our experience… And more to our story!   Father Orlando’s was one of the first participants to attend the McArtor Center in 2004.  Upon his arrival in Florida in July of 2004, we both agreed that we would need Day Care to help us manage our days. I was a very ‘green’ Caregiver at that time! I remember coming across the center in a newspaper article and was hooked on the first visit. Then I remember what Fr. Orlando said to me on our first day…”I’ll give it a try for a few days to see how I like it!”  Whew, did that sound familiar!   

 Valentine_Kids_QuoteHe, well…we…never regretted one day of our stay at the center and in fact, the socialization and positive attention that Fr. Orlando received  at the center, revived his life and his ministry, which aided him (and me) when he made his peaceful life transition in 2006.   Now looking back almost 10 years, it is amazing to have come full cycle and return to the center.  The staff is different, the participants are different, but there is one thing that is the same, unconditional love!

 Of course, I don’t know what the future holds for us. Now two plus weeks past his radiation treatments, TLO is slowly starting the healing process.  It is going to be an uphill struggle. My guess is that the healing process is only going to be aided by the unconditional love demonstrated to us by the staff at the Noble A. McArtor Adult Day Care Center because as Albert Einstein said: “the only source of knowledge is experience! “

You see…We Might Have Cancer, But Cancer Does Not Have Us! 

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Christopher MacLellan is a Certified Senior Advisor, the coordinator of senior services for SunServe Social Services and the host of ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio.  ©ThePurpleJacket

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Progressive Holiday Blog Party with Caregiving.com


Caregiving_Logo_Small1 2013_blog_party-300x199Welcome to the Progressive Holiday Blog Party 2013

Greetings!  ‘The Purple Jacket’ pleased to join the 2013 Progressive Holiday Blog Party with the wonderful members of Caregiving.com.  The Community at Caregiving.com  is like having an extended family;  I am proud to be a part of this wonderful group!

TLO_Certificate

I graduated from radiation!

For those first time visitors to ‘The Purple Jacket’ welcome and Thank You for stopping by!  I blog about my Caregiving experience for my partner, who I loving refer to as ‘The Little One.’  He was diagnosed with esophagus cancer in August of 2011.  Given three to four months to live, he has outlived all predictions.   Yet in October of 2013, Cancer has returned to ‘The Little One’ with a vengeance as he was diagnosed with Cancer on the spine.  With three tumors on his spine; ‘The Little One’ just recently completed 30 radiation treatments.  For the most part, he is pain-free at the moment, my that continue!

While each one of us deals with the reality of cancer in a different way, each 20131015-225104.jpgone of us wants to look on the bright side of life. Yesterday is gone, today is here, not sure about tomorrow. It is our hope that lets us withstand problems; it is our beliefs that let us find solutions.

I have been blogging here and at Caregiving.com for almost two years now.  The Caregivers I have met along the way have become a part of our family.   While our Caregiving journey’s might be different, Caregivers have this innate ability to understand each other, to be there for each other, to care for each other.  

Things that I am looking forward to in 2014:

My Blog Talk Radio Show, ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’  has been on hiatus since October, but will be back on the air in January with a new title, ‘Healing Ties.’  You can visit my Blog Talk Radio page and listen to archived versions of the show by clicking here! 

I will be (returning) to studying Theology at St. Joseph’s College in Standish, Maine with the intent to finish my Thesis, ‘The Social Sin of Geriatric Care in America.”

I hope we do another CareCruise in 2014!

To learn more about me,  I invite you to visit my ‘about page’ on my website by clicking here.

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 We Might Have CancerBut Cancer Does Not Have Us!

TLOCJM

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Thursday’s are always ‘Hug A Caregiver Day!’


Caregiving can sometimes be hard:

But Hugging a Caregiver is easy!

thursdays

encouraging-words-for-caregivers

Caregiving Heart

Listen to: 

cjmbtr (1)

‘”Be A Healthy Caregiver” is on hiatus while “TLO” is undergoing radiation treatments.  We plan on being back on the Air in January!

Can’t listen live…NO WORRIES!

All of our episodes of ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ are archived for your listening convenience by clicking here! 

Leave a comment

Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket

It’s Never Too Late To Start Over


We may encounter many defeats, but we must not be defeated!~Maya Angelou

TLO_Certificate

I graduated from radiation treatments!

Our second bout of Cancer started to unfold when we were discharged from Imperial Point Medical Center in early October with the news that TLO’s cancer had entered his spine.   It was a somber drive home that warm Saturday afternoon knowing that three tumors were lurking on his spine;  the added ordeal of facing more radiation just exasperated the diagnosis. Those first few days home after the diagnosis  was quite difficult… For both of us.  I’m still not sure what was worse; the revelation of what was inside of him, or the anticipation of starting the rigorous treatments that were in front of us?

Caregivers know that through all the turmoil, we hope for a ray of light toHoldTight shine through our Caregiving day, to take the edge off so to speak.  Our ray of light happened this week as TLO completed his six weeks of radiation treatments.   Those six weeks were like riding a roller coaster, or maybe one of those amusement rides that spin you upside-down.  (I always hated the ones that went upside-down)  It is hard to get a handle on your day when your day is in constant motion.

Never too LateDuring these last six weeks, there has never been two days alike; Cancer kind of does that, we’ve learned! We wake up each day not knowing how the day will enfold; Cancer kind of does that, we’ve learned! We look back at these past six weeks and wonder, “how did we get through this mess;” Cancer kind of does that, we’ve learned! We really don’t know what lies ahead of us; Cancer kind of does that, We’ve learned!  It’s never too late to start your day over;  Cancer kind of does that, we’ve learned!

Completing radiation treatments is  significant because it allows us to start Certificate side (2)over again.  There are no more treatments, nothing else to do other than to let the healing process start!     Sure, there will be a follow-up  MRI and CT scan to see the results of the radiation.  However, we have no control over what those results will entail.  We can only control how we feel, and how we will deal with those results.  

There is no doubt that this round  radiation has taken its toll on TLO.  For him, dealing with going to radiation on a daily basis is more difficult than dealing with the fact that he has cancer.    I find that revelation difficult to understand, but so thought-provoking!  It’s important to remember that we are wearing different shoes on this journey.

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 As we move into a different phase of our journey, we continue to hope for a gentle breeze at our back.  We’ve done what we could do to combat the tumors, we’ve made the proper adjustments to our care team and we are thankful for the great staff at the South Florida Radiation Oncology in Coconut Creek and Emerald Elite Senior Home Health Care in Wilton Manors .  I’m grateful to the Executive Director at SunServe, Mark Ketcham and my colleagues at work for their support and understanding.  Our extended family at Caregiving.com, where would we be without you?

As a Caregiver, we often think that we can go at it alone, that we don’t need any help.   While we have the ability to start our day over, it makes it easier to start our Caregiving day over when we have passengers to help  guide us through the journey.  I’m thankful for our Care Team!

You see…We Might Have Cancer, But Cancer Does Not Have Us! 

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Be A Healthy Caregiver’ is on hiatus until January 2014 while ‘TLO’ is undergoing radiation treatments.  To listen to  archived episodes of our show, simply click here! 

Christopher MacLellan is a Certified Senior Advisor, the coordinator of senior services for SunServe Social Services and the host of ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio.  ©ThePurpleJacket

 

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