Tag Archives: advocacy

November 23 is Caring Selfie day with Caregiving.com


Denise Brown has been a pioneer in the Caregiving industry for 20 years and operates one of the best, if not the best online Caregiving community, Caregiving.com.   When I started to blog about our Caregiving experience in April of 2011, I came across Denise and Caregiving.com and found not only terrific information about how to deal with the challenges of Caregiving, I found an extended family of friends through Denise’s vast network of Caregivers.  Denise’s soothing style is infectious and puts one at ease, while gently challenging us when needed.

As a Caregiving expert and advocate, Denise has been coming up with innovative ways to support and bring attention to family Caregivers for two decades.  She has done it again with #caringselfie day on November 23!   So how can you get involved in #caringselfie day?  Simple!  Take a selfie and post it on your social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram) on Monday, November 23. Use the hashtag #caringselfie. Be sure to include some of your caregiving story and explain that you’re sharing a selfie to put a face on caregiving.

Visit Denise at Caregiving.com  to learn all of the great things she is doing to bring awareness to Caregivers everywhere. Along the way, you will also find an extended family of Caregivers who are there to support you 100% and a tremendous amount of resources that will help you along on your caregiving journey too.  We could not have gotten along without Denise and our extended family at Caregiving.com!

So in honor of Denise’s commitment to Caregivers, I am sharing one of my most favorite photos with you for #caringselfie day!

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Denise and Richard, Winter in Florida, 2013

 

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What’s The Deal With Caregiving is available on Amazon by clicking here! 

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New Station, Same Great Show!


Everyone has a story, but not everyone gets to share their story.

Healing Ties radio returns in January with new guests, new topics, new format, and a new station.

It is about creating a life to love after Caregiving ends through advocacy, leadership, writing, radio, travel, cruises

What’s coming up?
Radio: Have a story to share, an idea for a show, or would you like to be a guest on the show…contact me!
Whole Care Network: Looking to list you product or business in our resource guide…contact me! (rates vary: reserve your premium location now on the Whole Care Network)

Hire Me: Looking for a Key Note Speaker, Lunch in Learn, I have a variety of topics to choose from or I can customize a presentation to meet your organization needs.

Coming Soon:
Travel With The Bow Tie Guy
Custom Bow Ties to support charity!

You can also visit our FB page at The Bow Tie Guy

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When Caregiving Ends


Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. Ralph Waldo Emerson

AARP’s monthly bulletin arrived in the mail and I have to say, it is impressive.  There are plenty of wonderful stories about Caregivers, terrific wpid-wp-1447734881364.jpeginformation and quite a bit of wonderful resources to help Caregivers on their journey.  November’s AARP Bulletin is a must for all Caregivers! As I paged through the magazine, I looked to see if there might be an article or two that might fit my current role as a Caregiver.  I sensed something was missing?   Thinking that I might find the information I was looking for, I moved over to AARP’s massive website and navigated to the Caregiving section and noticed about 2/3 of the way down the page an article on Coping with Loss – One Step At A Time.   I was sadden to see that the article was more than a year old!

My role as a Caregiver changed on March 9, 2014 when my partner, Bernard Richard Schiffer passed away. When Caregiving ends, lives are transformed forever.  All of a sudden, Caregiving is over and what is there left to do?  Immersed in  the care of someone else, now the (former) family Caregiver is learning to live life differently, learning to be a caregiver to themselves.   There are two aspects to Caregiving that is similar, there is a beginning and and end to Caregiving and in most cases, we are not prepared for either of these life events.

As we continue to celebrate National Family Caregiving month and recognize family Caregivers across the nation, I have to wonder if we are not missing an entire segment of family Caregivers whose Caregiving journey has ended. Filled with first hand experience that can be beneficial to family Caregivers,  we are learning to be a Caregiver to ourselves.  When Caregiving ends, its uncharted waters, but when we swim together, the distance to good health and happiness is not too far away.

I’m creating a life to love after Caregiving ends through advocacy, leadership, writing, radio, travel and cruises!

Chris MacLellan a former family Caregiver and is the host of Healing Ties Radio and the Author of “What’s The Deal With Caregiving.”

Our 2015 Pulitzer Prize Nominated Story In Sickness and In Health: A Couple’s Final Journey, still resonates today!

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Caregivers and Servant Leadership


A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way ~ John C. Maxwell

In November we celebrate National Caregiving month and it is always a good time to reflect and reconnect with good friends along the road during our Caregiving journey.  As I read through many of the national organization who are running promotions this month to signify National Caregiving month, I started to think about my role as a family Caregiver and what being a family Caregiver meant to me. Being a family Caregiver taught me a number of valuable lessons, but the most important lesson I learned was after Caregiving ended and Richard was no longer with us, and that lesson is the importance of self-care.   It is common for family Caregivers to lose themselves in the midst of Caregiving because our focus is so intense on our Caree.  Now 18 months after Richard made his life transition,  I am learning how to take better care of myself, (It is an up hill battle, that I will eventually win!)

Just recently I have come across a new meaning for family Caregivers, one that I have learned while finishing my masters degree in Leadership and Communication at Gonzaga University and that is the connection Caregivers have to Servant Leadership.  With my ministerial background and theology training, I had been looking forward to my class in Servant Leadership.  I was not disappointed.

Robert Greenleaf is known as the founder of Servant Leadership and once said: “The servant-leader is servant first. It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. The conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead. That person is sharply different from one who is a leader first, perhaps because of the need to assuage an unusual power drive or to acquire material possessions.”   While our class in Servant Leadership often focused on Business, Managers and Work Place Culture, I often commented in our classroom discussions about how Caregivers are Servant Leaders, because of our role to serve first, to advocate, to be the voice for those who could not speak, to put ourselves second.

Some of the characteristics of a work-place driven by Servant Leadership is that staff is fully engaged, feel a strong commitment to the cause, find purpose and have passion.  Servant Leaders are mindful of the whole, while understanding wpid-wp-1419526540344.jpegthat people have to feel empowered, lovable, connected and contributing.  I see quite a bit of philosophy entwined with Servant Leadership and Caregiving. Caregivers are commitment to the cause, and do find purpose and have passion to care.  Caregivers are mindful of their Caree, while understanding that their Caree needs to feel empowered, loved, connected and contributing.  Caregiving and Servant Leadership goes hand-in-hand because of the innate ability to think beyond our self.

In essence, we are all Servant Leaders in training and our training in Servant Leadership is on going, it never stops. Servant Leadership is about relationships.   Even after Caregiving has ended for me, I still in training, learning how to care for myself, while in the midst of being present to my family, friends and co-workers.  Caregiving and Life After Caregiving is about Relationships, too!

I see the connection to Servant Leadership and Caregiving, do you?

Oh…what did being a family Caregiver mean to me? It meant the world! Because in the end, just as in the beginning, we were fortunate to have some of the most meaningful conversations with each other, while spending every second, minute, hour, day, month and year together.  I would do it again with him, all over, with no regrets!

Chris MacLellan is the Author of “What’s The Deal With Caregiving” and Host of “Healing Ties: Creating A Life to Love After Caregiving Ends.”

To purchase the book, simply click here! 

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If She Had Lived to 100


Be happy. It’s one way of being wise. Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

Today, my Mother would have turned 100, unfortunately, she missed being a centenarian by just under 31 years!  Born in 1915 in New Orléans, my Mother was a women before her time.  Obtaining two college degree’s in the late 1930’s, she was talented and always seemed to be the “bell of the ball.”  Yet she passed away in 1984, just before her 69th birthday with seemingly, many unfulfilled dreams.

The MacLellan Six: Merrille, Mary, JoAnn, Jim, Gerri and Chris

The MacLellan Six: Merrille, Mary, JoAnn, Jim, Gerri and Chris

While “Gramma Bell”  got to know all of her 25 grandchildren, she missed out on getting to know all of her great-grandchildren which now reach past the number 40.  She missed out seeing the success of her six children, four of which have lived longer than her.  How medicine has changed over the years. But most of all later in life, she missed out on being happy, which is the saddest of them all.

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Family Reunion 2013

I’m sure raising kids in the 40’s and 50’s was challenging, just as it is today.  Yet it is important to note that she loved being a mother, but being a mother kept her from fulfilling some of her dreams.  There are so many things in life we give up when we care for someone else, albeit a parent or a caregiver.

I’ve never been a parent, but I do know what it is like to be a Caregiver.  I sense there is quite a bet of similar traits in these two roles, most notably the ability to love and care for someone else.  Sure, I realize that some parents do not have the ability to love and care for their children, just as I realize that there are IMG_2082many Caregivers who are out there who do not love their Caree: I call those folks, “Caregivers By Default.”  But when you get right down to it, we all have the innate ability to care, it just  has to be nurtured.  I’m thankful for that I received the care gene from my Mom, I am mindful that life moves on, and it is better to move on in happiness, than in worrying about the past.

Happy 100th birthday “Gramma Bell,” we are all just doing fine!

Chris MacLellan is a radio show host and Author of “What’s The Deal With Caregiving”

Available on Amazon by clicking here

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What’s The Deal With Caregiving


Friends: Today my book, “What’s The Deal With Caregiving” went live on Amazon. My goal with this book is to help guide you through your Caregiving journey, from beginning to end, because Caregiving has no gender or orientation boundaries, we just care for the one we love.

3D1I am dedicating this book to all Caregivers and their Caree’s with an Irish Proverb: “May the road rise up to meet you: May the wind be always at your back: May the warm rays of sun fall upon your home: And may the hand of a friend always be near.”

If you enjoyed reading our Pulitzer Prize Nominated Story, “In Sickness and Health: A Couples Final Journey” I hope you enjoy reading this book as well.

In memory of Bernard Richard Schiffer, I thank all of you for your friendship, support and love.

To purchase “What’s The Deal With Caregiving” on Amazon simply click here! 

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A Book Cover Preview: On National Bow Tie Day


As you might have noticed, I have not spent much time blogging on The Purple Jacket over the past six weeks or so.  However, that does not  mean that I have stopped writing.   As The Bow Tie Guy,  it seems fitting on National Bow Tie Day I share with you with a preview of the cover of my  first book, ‘What’s The Deal With Caregiving’ published Jack Tatar at People Tested Media.

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Photo Credit: Photo Journalist Carline Jean with permission from the Sun-Sentinel

Now in our final edits, my goal in writing  “What’s The Deal With Caregiving” is to bring readers a comfort zone to reflect, re-energize, and find reassurance, knowing there are other Caregivers out there, just like you, who understands your journey, who cares for you, and simply loves you because you care.  As a Caregiver, I’ve been there and because of my personal experience, I want to guide and assist your journey

I will be sure to keep you informed as we get closer to publishing this fall.   Here is just one of the many testimonials that have been sent in to me.

“I really love the approach you took with this – it’s different and of great interest to me as someone who was caregiving a loved one. It’s different because you are approaching it from angles that I don’t remember reading about before. You highlight important issues that sat at periphery of my awareness. I wish I had read this the year Kris started to wind down. Unfortunately I can’t go backwards, but for those now embarking on the caregiving journey it will be of immeasurable value.” Ira Woods, President and CEO of One World Memorials.  Author’s Note: Please visit Ira Woods’ blog, Conscious Departures.com for his well-written and compelling story in regards to when Caregiving ends.

A special thanks to my family, Richard’s family and my  friends in both South Florida and St. Louis for their continued support as I finish this first project.

Writing this book has been cathartic!

We are already working on book number 2 ‘Healing Ties: A Story about Love, Care, Cancer and Commitment’ which will delve deeper into our Caregiving  story with personal accounts of the five pillars:  our physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and financial health. I will write openly about our joys, laughter and struggles, because in the end, our story is about the meaning of love. Look for book 2 to be published early 2016.

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We Might Have (had) Cancer, but Cancer Never Had Us!

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Creating A Cohesive Care Team


Join us live from St. Louis, MO. At 7:00 pm (EST), 6:00 pm (CST)  on August 12th for a special episode of Healing Ties Radio on Health Café Live.com as we visit with  Judy Ryan from Life Work Systems.

Creating a cohesive care team is one of the essential components in order to be a health caregiver. Creating the life you love is possible for all of us, especially when we create a cohesive care team.  On Wednesday’s show, we’ll discuss seven steps that will help you create the cohesive care team that we all need to help us transform our day.

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To listen live on Wednesday August 12th at 7:00 pm (EST), 6:00 pm (CST) simply click here! HealingTies (1)

Cannot listen live?  NO WORRIES!  We have plenty of options for you to access all of our episodes of Healing Ties

ON DEMAND on our iHeart Radio Channel by clicking here! 

Available on UK Health Radio by clicking here! 

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Living In The Past?


The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves. Ray Kroc

One of the most important components to being a Healthy Caregiver is to know your strengths, weaknesses, while realizing that asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness.

I am learning that the same rule of order applies for people like myself who are in after-caregiving.  When the Caregiving journey ends, we look for outlets, we look for a path, because in after caregiving, our roads can tend to be filled with steep hills and deep drops.  The hardest of the roads are those round-a-bouts, were you think you are going somewhere, yet you just spin around and around to you realize that you are on the same path.

Reaching out for help while you are in after caregiving, is just as important is it is when you are in the midst of Caregiving. Yet the risk is harder because this ask, it is all about you.  I’ve had to learn the hard way that I can’t do this after-caregiving gig by myself.  Living in the past is hard: Living in the moment is the only way to go.

To many people to publicly thank, but special recognition to my friend Betty, all my siblings, Denise, Kathy, Abel, John, Ernest for encouragement and support.  A new chapter awaits me and is just around the corner.  Now back to writing and continue the path on  how to better care for myself, and live in the present, because in the end, living in the past does not change it, living in the past affects the present.

 

 

 

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Turning Caregiving from Burden to Opportunity


I am excited to have Anthony Cirillo as my featured guest for Wednesday’s episode of Healing Ties Radio at 7:00 pm (EDT)

Anthony Cirillo

Anthony Cirillo

on Health Cafe Live.comAnthony is a national known expert on Aging and Caregiving and is the President and CEO of The Aging Experience. Famous for his popular blog Who Moved My Dentures” Anthony presents regularly on topics important to seniors, caregivers and their families.

This weeks Healing Ties Motivational Minute, brought to you by Judy Ryan of Life Work Systems will feature ‘Healthy Venting’…We all need to know about Healthy Venting!

And one of our favorite features, the Healing Ties Jukebox features a favorite song from our special guest. You will just have to listen in to learn what song Anthony selected for this weeks Healing Ties Jukebox.

Healing Ties Radio is live at 7:00 pm (EST) on Health Cafe Live.com by simply clicking here! 

Can’t listen live? NO WORRIES!  Healing Ties Radio is available on demand on our iHeart Radio channel, by clicking here! 

Healing Ties is now available in the United Kingdom on UK Health Radio by clicking here! 

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