Tag Archives: Florida

A Conversation About Our Cargiving Cruise


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On Tuesday’s ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ show, I visited with Denise Brown on Caregiving.com  to discuss our upcoming Caregiving Cruise on the Norwegian Sky leaving out of Miami, Florida on November 11, 2013.   You can listen to our show by clicking here

No, this isn’t me or Denise, . But they sure look happy frolicking in the ocean in the Bahamas. We will, too!

No, this isn’t me or Denise, But they sure look happy frolicking in the ocean in the Bahamas. We will, too!

Denise  and I spoke about our goals for the cruise: To connect you with others who understand Caregiving, to have fun and to relax. We’re thrilled to be able to offer this opportunity to cruise with you. We’ve got a special price for our cruise, which includes the cost of the cruise, a one-hour cocktail party and three one-hour workshops. To make sure we keep this special rate, book your cruise by March 15.  

Have a special need?  Our travel agent (and expert) Jerry Dismaris is a Certified Travel Advocate and will be able to work with you to meet all of your special needs. Jerry will also be able to help with transportation to Miami.  He is a full-serve cruise agent!

To learn more about our cruise and to book your reservation, click here 

To go directly to booking, click here

We Might Have Cancer…

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...But Cancer Does Not Have Us! 

 

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Challenges of caregiving ‘weigh’ on Chris MacLellan


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I would like to thank Florida Blue for this article which was published on their website today.  

Chris MacLellan is among the estimated 65.7 million caregivers in the U.S., so he has a lot of people who can understand the challenges of caring for a loved one. However, sometimes he’s felt completely alone.

“Just as the caree needs support, caregivers need their own support system to help them get through the ups and downs of the caregiving experience,” said Chris. “I found out that if I can’t take care of myself, how can I take care of my partner?”

Research tells us that caregiving can have serious physical health consequences. In fact, 17% of caregivers feel their health in general has gotten worse as a result of their caregiving responsibilities.*

Chris knows all about the toll that caregiving can inflict upon his own health. In past years, he has cared for a close friend and he now cares for his partner, who was diagnosed with esophageal cancer in 2011. He describes these experiences as “life changing.”

But what also changed during these experiences was his weight. While he cared for others, he struggled with using food as comfort instead of fuel. At one point in Chris’ life he weighed almost 300 lbs. – and he knew he was at a breaking point. Through diligent efforts, he lost 100 lbs. and continues the battle to keep it off. However, due to the recent stress of his partner’s diagnosis and subsequent caregiving duties, his weight has started to rise once again.

“I knew I had to make a permanent change in my weight,” he said. “If I am to be a healthy caregiver, I have to take better care of myself.”

Chris now is a big believer in caregivers taking care of their physical and mental health. He also realizes that like him, other caregivers often put their own personal needs second, which often turns into weight gain or other health problems..

In February of 2011, he began writing a blog to share his caregiving story and

create awareness. Today, an interactive online community of caregivers also thrives as a result of his outreach. He calls his blog The Purple Jacket, where you’ll find his passion for caregiving, personal experiences and struggles, and advocacy efforts. Plus, the blog has blossomed into a full-scale resource for caregivers with a focus on the specific challenges of the LGBT community.

Chris also hosts Be a Healthy Caregiver on BlogTalkRadio and you’ll find his helpful tips, words of encouragement and retweets @TheBowTieGuy.

“I am a communicator, not a clinician,” Chris says. “My passion for increasing awareness about caregiving has been my mental therapy, of sorts. Sharing my life has helped others…and me, too.”

So, after all, Chris is not alone.

Take a virtual ride with Chris

On January 20th, Chris will kick off a virtual ride, tweeting from his stationary bike about improving his personal health while continuing to raise awareness for fellow caregivers. His goal to lose weight is teamed with reaching other caregivers to motivate them to focus on their own health. Florida Blue will follow Chris’s ride on Twitter, so be sure to help us cheer him on!

We understand the importance of making your health a priority, especially if you’re a caregiver. To help you make the difficult decision to focus on your own health, we invite you to stop by one of our Florida Blue Centers, where one of our staff nurses will speak with you about your personal health challenges. You can even get a your blood pressure checked, have a cholesterol and blood glucose screening, check your height and weight, and more.

And, don’t forget to visit Staying Healthy on floridablue.com for great tips and guidance.

Be sure to tell us about your caregiving experiences, below. We want you to know you are not alone…

*Source: http://www.caregiver.org/caregiver/jsp/content_node.jsp?nodeid=439

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Caregivers: It’s Time To Get Healthy with ‘VRide’


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We do not have to do it alone!  

What is a V-Ride you might ask?  V-Ride stand for Virtual Ride, or better yet a fancy word for a ride on a stationary bike!    I am teaming up with my friends at Caregiving.com  to create awareness to caregivers health.

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Caregivers often put  own personal needs second, which often turns into weight gain or other calamities which can affect one’s health.   I’ve been there! 

Get_Healthy

As Caregivers, we are united in our care for our caree, now through our VRide we can unite in care for ourselves.  The great thing about the VRide is that anyone can do it.  VRide is about getting fit, staying motivated and making virtual visits to other family caregivers. My first destination is to ‘visit’ another caregiver in the Orlando area.  In fact my riding partner on the west coast of Florida ‘will meet me there.’  Once we’ve made it to our destination, we’ll visit another caregiver in another state.  We’ll make stops along the way and chart our progress on a daily basis.

Here is a map of my route to Orlando…

Deerfield Beach, FL to Orlando, FL - Google Maps 1

I have just a tad over 200 miles to pedal to ‘get’ to Orlando, it will be a daunting ride, but one that will be healthy for me. Our ‘V’ Ride allows caregivers the comfort of exercising in the comfort of their own home without the worry of leaving their caree behind. This is a win/win for everyone.

You can follow my progress here on ‘The Purple Jacket’ and on Caregiving.com   There will be updates on Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube, too.

Thre is an  estimated 65.7 million caregivers in the U.S; Research tells us that Caregiving can have serious physical health consequences. In fact, 17% of caregivers feel their health in general has gotten worse as a result of their Caregiving responsibilities.  I have allowed my weight to balloon up to 253 lbs, a mere  73 lbs off my target weight.

Weight as of January 19, 2013

Weight as of January 19, 2013

I know most of the weight I have put on is  because of the stress of Caregiving, yet I also have to take personal responsibility too.  If I am to Be A Healthy Caregiver, I have to take better care of myself, too.  The VRide is one way that I can give back to others while helping myself. 

Bike

Want to join us? Great! Just start moving and post your daily activity in our VRide group. We’ll add events to our group’s calendar when we know the dates of a virtual stop and a caregiving visit.  To join our group and blog, you must be a member of Caregiving.com. It’s easy and free to join; just go here.

The Purple Jackety Highly recommends Caregiving.com

The Purple Jackety Highly recommends Caregiving.com

 Don’t let your health linger any longer, come join us on our VRide!

We Might Have Cancer…

TLOCJM

…But Cancer Does Not Have Us

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Be A Healthy Caregiver on Blog Talk Radio


 

Join  Chris MacLellan ‘The Bow Tie Guy’ on Tuesday at 1:00pm (est) for ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio  with  special guest Patrick Cavanaugh from Broward County Elderly and Veterans Services in Broward County Florida

 

 

 

 

Substance abuse is an issue that is not often discussed as it relates to our senior community.  Join us for a friendly conversation with Patrick  Cavanaugh with Broward County Elderly and Veterans Services Prevention Program as we discuss substance abuse issues relating to seniors and caregivers.

 

The Prevention Program activities are directed at older adults 55 years and older. Some are provided to at-risk elders, primarily those experiencing mental health and/or emotional problems, caregivers and the general public. Mr. Cavanaugh interacts and/or provides direct services to older adults in an effort to comprehensively address older adult substance abuse in an integrated manner. Over one thousand consumers per year participate in these services.

 

You’ll enjoy Mr. Cavanagh’s upbeat and positive attitude, this is someone who really enjoys his work!

 

Click here to join the show scheduled for Tuesday October 30th at 1:00pm

 

 

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On Borrowed Time?


 

I decided to try something different this evening with my blog post… I am using Dragon Naturally Speaking to post my blog this evening.  I have come to the realization that I am much better at speaking than I am at typing: this just might be a better way for me to communicate my thoughts, feelings and emotions as I moved forward with ‘The Purple Jacket.”  So far so good!

Jewish Halo

This past week,  The Little One had his appointment with the oncologist. What was amazing about this appointment was that I did not feel the need, nor did I have the time to go to the appointment with him.   Now the ‘Mother Hen’ in me worried all morning about the whereabouts of “The Little One” yet  I knew deep down inside me that could handle the oncologist, handle the drive down to the office and be independent.  He did not get to be 81 without some form of independence!

Just as is the primary care doctor was encouraged at his progress, so was the oncologist.  It just so happens that the oncologist and the primary care doctor share the same office space;  this convenient for sharing information between staff and doctors.  The other benefit of this location in that the chemotherapy treatments is on the site, too! This  setup has made easier, not only for “The Little One”, but for all the patients that these physicians see on a regular basis.

The oncologist continued to spread good cheer,  good health and well-being for “The Little One.”  As I mentioned in my last blog post, the oncologist had projected 3 or 4 months to live after the initial diagnosis and subsequent treatments.  While he is pleased to be proven wrong, statistically speaking, the cure rate for esophageal cancer is one of the lowest there is.  If we are going solely by the book, then 3 to 4 months is correct.

It is understandable why a diagnosis like this would be attached to such a short lifespan.  That being said,  we forged ahead mindful of the pitfalls, yet striving for the best possible results.  We never want to rule out hope!

 I guess what amazes me the most about this visit to the oncologist is not the fact that we all recognize that the little one has far exceeded anyone’s expectations; it’s why is the doctor felt like he has to end this positive visit with the words…”You know you’re on borrowed time!”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Granted I was not there for this conversation, and I have no reason to doubt what “The Little One” has told me in regards to this conversation.  Yet, I am not sure what the purpose of comments like this does for a patient, for a caregiver or for the physician themselves?  Throughout this whole ordeal, we have taken a positive approach to dealing with the effects of cancer. We could sulked, we could  have  played the blame game, we could have gone into denial… However, what good would that have done for either one of us?  That’s just like saying…”you know we’re on borrowed time.”  

I do not claim to be a doctor, I do not claim to be a clinician, but I do believe that I understand how a positive outlook and healthy communication  can have a soothing and  healing effect on the mind, on the body, and of the spirit when dealing with critical health issues.  When you think about it,  we are all on borrowed time, yet does a cancer patient really need to be reminded of that?

Photo Credit: Pinterst

The healing power of body, mind and spirit plays such an important role in overcoming physical (and mental) illness.   To use a sports metaphor, the best defense is usually a good offense.  The best way to deal with a diagnosis of cancer is to be as realistic and honest as possible.  Our best offense was to plunge full force  When I look at this comment from the oncologist in this light, I can understand it.  Yet to presuppose a diagnosis without the addition of hope, only leads us to despair.  Reality is painful enough, more so without the effects of hope!

Sometimes Just Being There is all we need

Through this experience, I am convinced that one of the key tools in transmitting hope and reality,  is the ability to be an empathetic communicator.    Calmly… Empathy transmits hope and reality.  I don’t think that there is anymore that we can ask for when dealing with the stark reality of Cancer or any other disabling illness.

You see…We Might Have Cancer…But Cancer Does Not Have Us! 

Photo Credit: ‘The Bow-Tie-Guy”

 

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In These Shoes Part III


The ‘new shoes are feeling just fine…so much so, the ‘Imelda Marcos’ of South Florida has decided to come out…rather…clean out his closet!

Photo credit: ‘The Purple Jacket’

One thing the real Imelda never did; was something that made me proud of ‘The Little One’

Photo Credit: ‘The Purple Jacket’

When you give up something, it always comes back two-fold!

You see…We might have cancer, but cancer does not have us! 

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SunServe and The Purple Jacket: A Perfect Match


I am pleased to announce that ‘The Purple Jacket’ and ‘The Bow-Tie-Guy’ have joined the staff at SunServe Social Services in Fort Lauderdale, Florida  as the coordinator of Senior Services.     SunServe Social Services is the home of the Noble A. McArtor Adult Day Care Center .  Opening in 2004,  the Noble A. McArtor Adult Day Care Center   has been on the frontier for serving the needs of the LGBT senior community in South Florida.

The Noble A. McArtor Adult Day Care Center has always had a special place in my heart as my close friend, Father Richard Orlando, was one of the first participants of the center when it first opened in 2004.     During his time at  Noble A. McArtor Adult Day Care Center, Father Orlando excelled in all facets of his life.  The staff and participants at the center were a major part in providing Father Orlando with a beautiful “SunSet” to his life!

Having been away from Fort Lauderdale for four years and upon returning to Fort Lauderdale in March 2012, I was shocked, surprised and impressed to see the growth of  SunServe Social Services in such a short period of time.   SunServe  has grown into a comprehensive social service agency, offering a number of professional services to the LGBT Community in Fort Lauderdale including:

SunServe Social Services provides high quality, compassionate, and progressive care for all, including those in financial need, minorities, youth, seniors, families, and those with life-challenging physical or emotional conditions.  The growth of SunServe Social Services is a truly remarkable and is a testament to the entire staff.
 
Forging ahead with this collaboration is a  perfect fit for ‘The Purple Jacket’ and ‘The Bow-Tie-Guy’ as we continue to talk about the real-life issues and needs  of LGBT Aging, Health and Caregiving
SunServe Social Services is rolling out a telephone tree to call our LGBTQ neighbors in Broward County who may be homebound or would like to touch base with someone every day.  If you are in South Florida, I urge you to become active in this program.

You:  Would have to make a commitment to call your client once a day – at a specific time you both find convenient – to check on them, give them an update and share some news.

 You:  Would make a commitment to serve for 6 months at a time.

Yes, you can take a vacation but you will have to let your phone team leader know so another volunteer can cover your client.

Yes, you can go back north for the summer; you might decide to continue your calls from “Up North” or we can ask another volunteer to call for you.

Yes, we can utilize your services for the months that you are here.

Yes, there is a three-hour training that you need to attend on Saturday, May 19th from 10 – 1 PM at SunServe.

Yes, you can have more than one client.

Yes, you will have to keep a brief daily log and report to your telephone team captain once a month on how you are doing, how your client is doing and if any special situations have arisen.

Yes, you can refer friends into the program so they may receive calls.

If you are in Broward County and interested in participating , please call Andrew Forester at 954-764-5150 for a quick phone interview and to sign up for the training on Saturday, May 19 here at the SunServe Office.

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‘In These Shoes Part II’


Photo credit: Wikipedia

Today we picked up “The Little One’s”  new shoes today  Hanger Prosthetic and Orthotics.    Unfortunately, the first choice of shoes ‘The Little One’ selected, somehow was not available in a therapeutic model!  These Stilettos would make Bette Midler proud as she would be singing…”In These Shoes” once she laid eyes on these shoes!   

Photo credit: ‘The Purple Jacket’

As we arrived in the office of  Hanger Prosthetic and Orthotics we were greeted by Shelley who assisted us last week with the fitting.  Shelley is great to work with, she pulls no punches, knows what she is talking about and has a care for all her clients.  It was a pleasure to work with her.

Within moments of sitting in the waiting room, the new shoes arrived and the Imelda Marcos of South Florida was back in his element.  Mindful of what Shelley mentioned last week that “these shoes” would feel a little ‘loose’ at first, ‘The Little One’ was quick to comment about just that!  “When I get a blister on the back of my foot from ‘These Shoes’ being loose, I will be back next week to show you!”   Of course, my laughing at this statement was is not the polite thing to do!

Shelley handled the comment with grace; by the time we were ready to leave, the Imelda Marcos of  South Florida had already had is eye out on another pair of shoes.  Should I have really have been surprised?   

The good folks at  Hanger really treated us well today.  There was a complete mix up with the co-pay, they admitted their error and allowed us to send in payment as we were under the impression that there was no funds due upon pick up of ‘These Shoes.’  Customer Service goes a long way in leaving a lasting impression on consumers.  I knew from my previous experience with Hanger that they were a model company whose mission is to help people lead a better life.   They proved it again today!  It goes without saying that when you are in the people business, you need to be about the people!  Hanger proved that again today.  And with that,  had one happy customer leaving their office today!

‘The Purple Jacket’

You see…we might have cancer, but cancer does not have us! 

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‘IN THESE SHOES?’


If you are a fan of Bette Midler you are probably aware of one of her (many) popular songs, one in particular is a favorite of mine…‘In These Shoes’. The lyrics are wonderful, funny and maybe a tad over the top for some. This favorite song of mine popped up yesterday while ‘The Little One’ was being fitted for diabetic shoes at Hanger Prosthetic and Orthotics. (You might be familiar with the movie Dolphin Tail, the good folks at Hanger worked on this project, their work is quite moving as is this movie) They are a great company!

Having  experience in this procedure with Fr. Orlando a number of years ago, I have been gently bugging ‘The Little One’ to obtain a referral from his PCP for a pair of these diabetic and therapeutic shoes. Finally, our day for our custom fitting was Wednesday!

You might ask…’Why these shoes? It’s no secret that diabetics have an increased risk of developing foot problems. These custom-made therapeutic shoes offer support, relieve stress and strain on the foot and back while providing a better ‘walk’.  Watching “The Little One” walk over the past few months, I have grown concern with his balance and his foot ware. Asking him to change shoes, well…uh…hmm…change can be difficult, even with shoes.  (While the closet is full of shoes, some of them should really stay in the closet!)   Having these custom fitted shoes will only enhance his walking, while aiding him with better balance. Better balance means less chance of a fall.  I think you get the picture…

photo credit: Chris MacLellan

When the attendant noticed the shoes ‘The Little One’ was wearing…she said out loud…’You’re walking IN THESE SHOES’.  ———————————————————>

It was a jolt to the ‘Imelda Marcos‘ of South Florida; I mean these shoes are at least 20 years old!  Twenty years ago, ‘The Little One’ was stronger and could manage shoes like this which offered little or no support…but ohhhhh…forget safety, they do look marvelous!

Since we’ve been back in Florida, ‘The Little One’ has surprised me from time to time with ‘treasures’ like these shoes, which he has had in his possession for a long period of time.  Many of these ‘surprises’ have a story to them, or are connected to his partner Herman of 43 years.    It’s hard to just walk away from these treasures…. no matter how mundane I might think they might be.

 As the conversation with orthopedic professional continued, it was easier for ‘The Little One’ to hear and accept what he needed in foot wear for his own safety from a professional.  Always mindful of his safety and what is best for him, I also have to be careful not to over step my boundaries and ‘demand’ that he do something that he may not want to do.    You know the phrase…’you pick your battles.’ I knew that this  was one battle that would be won by the professional. (When it comes to personal safety, sometimes you do have to take a stand.)

As a caregiver, it is important for me to know as many resources as possible, yet we can’t know them all.  Having previous experience to build on, I was able to tell ‘The Little One’ that diabetic/therapeutic shoes are the only foot-ware covered by medicare   (You will need a referral from your PCP)  That opened the door for the referral and hence, he will have new shoes next week.  (To show his need, the orthopedic professional moved up his second appointment to next week because of his critical need for these shoes!)

The lesson of this story for me has to do more with how we see things that are important to us.  Shoes, trinkets, all of the collectibles, have a particular meaning to them.  We all have something in our possession that we can identify that has meaning to it.    We get attached to items for different reasons that are very personal, yet until you are IN THESE SHOES, who is it for us to tell someone to give up something that has meaning to it?

 One of the lyrics in Bette’s song is…”In these shoes? Oh, I doubt you’d survive.”  Bette is so right…In these shoes,  I doubt “The Little One” would he would have survived.  We can all survive and prosper when we are mindful of each other needs, react accordingly to those needs and care for those who cannot care for themselves.

When we care like that…we  can care in ‘ANY SHOES’

You see…we might have cancer; but cancer does not have us! 

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Caregivers…”Never Alone”


One of the many things that I have missed while being away from Fort Lauderdale for the past four years has been congregation at The Sunshine Cathedral .  While attending worship services this past Sunday, the senior Pastor  Reverend Durrell Watkins,  preached on a topic that really hit home for me: his sermon was entitled, “Never Alone”.

What I know is that prayer connects us to all the prayers of eternity and to all the people who have ever prayed and so the very act of prayer is a reminder that we are not alone, and if we are not facing the challenges of life alone, then hope, peace, and joy are always possible and that’s pretty miraculous.”   Reverend Durrell Watkins Sunday April 22, 2012.

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