Tag Archives: advocate

November 30, 2012 · 9:00 pm

What Is The Best Thing For Me, The Caregiver?

TLO The Original Blueberry Pancake

While making Blueberry Pancakes recently for ‘The Little One,’ I was reminded of a blog post that I wrote last year right after he completed his round of radiation and chemotherapy treatments. I wrote this post titled ‘The Tumor Extractor’ for just $19.99! This is one of my very first blog post (which is copied below) where I reflected on how hope, love, support and care are the real tumor extractors as well as how humor can play an important role in the recovery process, too. Now more than one year past the original post, I took a second look at was written and I am amazed at what (still) applies today. Now I take it one step further, as caregivers, we need to apply these same feelings and emotions to ourselves too! I have to look myself square in the eye on this one!

Dr. Starcevic with ‘The Little One’

Many of the decisions that we made over the past year or so have been centered around what was best for ‘TLO.’ As Caregivers, we know that decisions are often based on what is best for the Caree and for the most part, we’re OK with it. Yet how often do we as Caregivers say…’What is the best thing for me, the Caregiver?

It is easy to get lost in the Caregiving experience and lose sight of self. I’ve been there! Trying to regroup in the midst of Caregiving and express my own needs is by no means an easy task. For me, expressing my own needs can be scary, well…actually it is scary. Is it a sign of weakness, or failure or the messiah complex. Or am I just a rut? The bottom line is simple, when you put someone else’s needs ahead of your own, you lose sight of self. It happens before you know it. The signs are obvious to everyone, yet camouflage to self.

These are some of the critical signs that caregivers need to be aware of in relation to our own health and well-being.

Weight Gain
Lack of sleep
Poor exercise habits
Lethargic
Anxiety

I get a gold star: I score high on all five traits!

Photo Credit: Dr. Wayne Dyer

I have been conscious of these issues for quite some time, yet have been immobilized to act on it. I don’t know why, I just know that it has happened. Over the past number of weeks, ‘TLO’ has been asking me to make an appointment to see my doctor. “You need to take better care of yourself,’ he demanded! He has recognized ‘the signs’, inspired me to do something about it, and finally I acted on it.

The trip to the doctor’s office was not without anxiety. I had not seen Dr. Scalia since I left Fort Lauderdale in 2007 and much has changed since then. Going in, I knew he would ‘get-it’ as Dr. Scalia was on the team of Doctors who took care of Father Orlando, so there was immediate comfort and recognition.

Healthy Living is for everyone!

Yet at the same time, there was quite a bit of reflection on Father Orlando as Dr. Scalia was the attending physician leading up to his transition in 2006. When he entered the room, I was greeted with a warm smile…There was no need to hold back, he could see the expression on my face. We talked openly and honestly; it felt great to have someone totally focused on my needs. He did the battery of tests; EKG was normal, blood pressure normal: the blood work results and follow-up will be later in December. All the same concerns that I demonstrate for ‘TLO’ are the same concerns that both Dr. Scalia and ‘TLO’ expressed for me. That’s not a bad thing!

‘To Be A Healthy Caregiver’ does not mean just taking care of your Caree, it means taking care of yourself, too. I’ve taken the first steps and now need to follow through with a Care Plan for myself. The best Care Plan available to me is through Caregiving.com. Denise Brown from Carigiving.com offers a care plan that focuses on WELL:

• Wisdom comes from being attentive, grateful and curious.

•Energy comes from my food, my exercise and my physical, mental, spiritual and emotional breaks.

• Laughter comes from within myself, from my relationships and from my entertainment.

• Love comes from within myself, from my relationships and from my passions,

However, the best care plan will be for not if you don’t use it!

I encourage you to visit’s Caregiving.com by simply clicking here to…lots of great information…lots of great people too!

I often forget that my biggest supporter is the one who I care for because he knows me better than anyone else. By going to the doctor and implementing my care plan through Caregiving.com , I can take better care of myself. Not every day is a ‘Blueberry Pancake’ Day. Caring for someone who has a chronic illness is not for the faint of heart. As caregivers, caring-for-caregiver it is essential that we to apply Love, Hope, Support and Care in relation to our needs too.

If I am going to be a provider of Love, Hope, Support and Care… Shouldn’t I be a receiver too? Yet in order to receive, you have to be open and recognize your own personal needs. For me, looking internally and owning my own feelings and emotions, then expressing those emotions and feelings will not only make me healthier, it will make be a better caregiver, too!

Below is my post from November 6th, 2011…Thanks for reading it again!

We have all seen those gadgets that they sell on TV… It seems that all those gadgets sell for just $19.99 and better yet, all these gadgets are a must need for every household! As I was preparing waffles for breakfast this morning I came across a new product called ‘The Tumor Extractor’

‘The Tumor Extractor’

Simply apply to the area of the tumor and all your troubles will be gone!

‘The Little One’ and I enjoyed a great laugh when I presented him with our new ‘Tumor Extractor’ and just think…we only spent $10,000 on chemo and radiation and could have had this gadget for $19.99! (Of course Monty Python’s Spamalot is playing in the background.) Every cancer patient and caregiver wishes there was something as quick and simple as ‘The Tumor Extractor’ to remove cancer from the body. But what is available to every cancer patient and caregiver is hope, love, support and humor. That is the true Cancer Extractor! While each one of us deals with the reality of cancer in a different way, we want to look on the bright side of life! Yesterday is gone, today is here, not sure about tomorrow. Today we are enjoying our new ‘Tumor Extractor’ even if it will only help us make waffles. It is our hope that lets us withstand stand problems…but it is our beliefs that lets us find solutions. And remember… ‘Always look on the bright side of life!’

You See…We Might Have Cancer…But Cancer Does Not Have Us!

Caregivers – The Unsung Heroes Of The Cancer Patient (hcrfl.wordpress.com)
Happy Thanks-Caregiving (thepurplejacket.com)

Happy Thanks-Caregiving (thepurplejacket.com)
Quieting the mind: Stress reduction practices for hospice caregivers (thepurplejacket.com)
Caregiver Burnout: 9 Ways to Avoid It (thepurplejacket.com)
This Month, Be THANKFUL for Caregivers! (pattidudek.typepad.com)
Taking Care Of The Caregiver (lifefoneblog.com)
You Can’t Wait 10 Years (caregiving.com)
What Caregivers Don’t Tell Anyone (aarp.org)

9 Comments

Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket

Tagged as advocacy, advocate, Bow Tie Guy, Caregiver, Caregiver Support, Caregiving, Health, LGBT, LGBT Seniors

November 27, 2012 · 10:25 am

‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio

On Tuesday’s ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ show our special guest are Attorney’s Ryan Shaughnessy and Michelle Silies who practice law in St. Louis, MO. Our discussion will center around the importance of having your legal documents in order, before a crisis happens. Join us at 1:00 pm (est) for another episode of ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio. Not able to listen to the show live, that’s OK…You can listen to the show at anytime after 1:00pm (est) by clicking here.

With Self-Care, You Keep (caregiving.com)
Hot Topics: Where’s the Help? (caregiving.com)

Happy Thanks-Caregiving

We are thankful for those who are Caregivers today, those who will be Caregivers tomorrow and especially those who have been Caregivers in the past.

We share in our Caregiving Journey with each other in a special way, knowing that while our roads might be different, our paths are filled with comfort and joy from the support we receive from each other!

From our Caregiving Journey to yours…Happy Thanksgiving from ‘The Purple Jacket‘ and ‘The Bow Tie Guys’

‘The Bow-Tie-Guys’

Remember…We Might Have Cancer...

But Cancer Does Not Have Us!

Tell Us: Holiday Tips for the First-Time Family Caregiver (caregiving.com)
Thanksgiving Blessings to Everyone! (catnipoflife.wordpress.com)
Platitudes on Gratitudes (caregiving.com)
Caregiver Burnout: 9 Ways to Avoid It (thepurplejacket.com)
Your Marketability Because of Caregiving (caregiving.com)
‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio (thepurplejacket.com)
Your Four-Step Holiday Caregiving Checklist (aarp.org)
November is National Family Caregivers Month (alzjourney.com)
Tuesday: Kiss a Caregiver Day! (caregiving.com)

10 Comments

Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket

Tagged as advocacy, advocate, Bow Tie Guy, Caregiver, Caregiving, Family, LGBT Seniors

November 21, 2012 · 4:04 pm

‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio

On Tuesday’s ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ show, we had a wonderful conversation with Fr. J. Lawrence Richardt from the Archdiocese of Indianapolis where we discussed how Spirituality can play a role in being a healthy caregiver. Approaching his 50th anniversary of his ordination, Fr. Larry has been a caregiver for his mother for the past seven years in Indiana.

During our conversation we talked about:

How being present to others is important in ministry and in Caregiving…
The importance of being anchored to a larger world outside of Caregiving…
How Scripture and Spiritual Direction helps keep me (us) honest…
How we laugh and find beauty during those dog days of caregiving…

To listen to our conversation on Blog Talk Radio, please click here.

Join us next Tuesday at 1:00pm (est)for another episode of ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio for a discussion with Attorney’s Ryan Shaughnessy and Michelle Silies as we discuss the importance of having your legal documents in order. For the link to next week show you can click here

Tell Us: Holiday Tips for the First-Time Family Caregiver (caregiving.com)
Caregiver Burnout: 9 Ways to Avoid It (thepurplejacket.com)
With Self-Care, You Keep (caregiving.com)
Today Is Kiss a Caregiver Day! (caregiving.com)
The Telikin PC for the ‘The Little One’ (thepurplejacket.com)

1 Comment

Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket

Tagged as advocacy, advocate, Be A Healthy Caregiver, Blog Talk Radio, Bow Tie Guy, Caregiver, Caregiving, Spiritual Direction

November 19, 2012 · 4:29 pm

‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio

Join us on Tuesday at 1:00 pm (EST) for another episode of ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio. On this week’s ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ show, we’ll be chatting with the Reverend Larry Richardt who is a retired Catholic Priest from the Diocese of Indianapolis. As a caregiver for his mother and formally trained Spiritual Director, Father Richardt has a keen understanding on how the role spirituality plays in order to ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ To listen to the show live on Tuesday (or anytime that is convenient for you) just click here

Hot Topics: Where’s the Help? (caregiving.com)
Your Marketability Because of Caregiving (caregiving.com)

3 Comments

Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket

Tagged as advocacy, advocate, Be A Healthy Caregiver, Blog Talk Radio, Bow Tie Guy, Caregiver, Radio

November 14, 2012 · 7:25 pm

Remember…Blame the Disease, Not The Caree!

When I was a kid, one of my favorite roller coasters was the Zephyr at the old Pontchartrain Beach amusement park in New Orléans. Those steep curves and big drops were exhilarating, especially when the car made the turn to come back to the station ― when for a moment you thought that you were going to fly into Lake Pontchartrain only to feel the car make that big pull to the left at the last second and head back to home base. They do not make Roller Coasters like that anymore!

Being a caregiver at times is like riding a roller coaster: up the hill, down the hill, swaying through the curves that Caregiving brings to us on a daily basis. I know I must have ridden the Zephyr over a 100 times in my life, so I knew what to expect and could anticipate the bumps and curves as the car sped down the track.

Caregiving can change at a moment’s notice and… without any warning. When your anxiety heightens, that is precisely the time when you have to be calm in the presence of your caree. All of a sudden, those steep curves look ominous; those hills become daunting.

When your caree lashes out at you, take a step back and assess the situation; more times than not, it is the disease talking, not the caree.
Be attentive, not condescending.
Be proactive, not reactive.
As a caregiver, remember you are not the one who is sick.

‘The Little One’ taught me this lesson as he related stories of being a caregiver for his partner Herman who passed away in 1999 from Alzheimer’s. “As mad as I would get with Herman, I had to remind myself that it was the disease talking and not the man who I had known for 43 years.” Over the last 48 hours, I have been reminded of this story quite a number of times as we are currently in the mist of change with ‘The Little One’s’ health. We never know when the tumor is going to act up, but when it does, it takes its toll. We are hoping that ‘this roller coaster’ gets back on track and pulls into the station .

When riding the Zephyr I could anticipate the bumps and curves on the track, and I knew that I would always end up back at the station; however our health and well-being is not so predictable. So when those bad days surface, we both take comfort in knowing that it is the disease, not the person. Mindful that the person you love and care for, will always be inside your heart no matter what is inside their body.

You see…We Might Have Cancer…

But Cancer Does Not Have Us!

4 Comments

Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket

Tagged as advocacy, advocate, Bow Tie Guy, Caregiver, Caregiving, esophagus cancer, Lake Pontchartrain, LGBT Seniors, New Orleans, Pontchartrain Beach, Recreation, Roller coaster

November 13, 2012 · 9:12 pm

Be A Healthy Caregiver on Blog Talk Radio

Today on ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio, we had a great conversation with Nancy Allegrezza, RN, Director of Marketing with Telikin Computers. Telikin is the easy to use, all in one, touchscreen computer designed with seniors in mind. Some seniors have never become familiar with computer technology and may be intimidated by it. Telikin helps reduce those fears. To listen to our show, click here. (Please pardon the technological problems at the start of the show)

For information on how to purchase a Telikin Computer, please click the icon below.

Join us next Tuesday, November 20th at 1:00pm (est) for another session on ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ with our guest, Fr. Larry Richardt who is a retired Catholic Priest and Spiritual Director who also acts as a caregiver for his 95-year-old mother. Our conversation will focus on how developing a healthy spirituality can play an important role in being a Healthy Caregiver. Our November 20th show can be accessed by clicking here.

You see…We Might have Cancer, but Cancer Does Not have us!

The Telikin PC for the ‘The Little One’ (thepurplejacket.com)
Be A Healthy Caregiver On Blog Talk Radio Tuesday at 1:00 pm (thepurplejacket.com)
With Self-Care, You Keep (caregiving.com)

The Telikin PC for the ‘The Little One’

When we decided to start looking for a new computer for ‘The Little One’ it was my goal to find a product that was user-friendly and with little maintenance. I know you must think that I was dreaming! Yet I was delightfully surprised when I learned of a computer that was specifically designed for seniors; the Telikin computer.

Telikin is the easy to use, all in one, touchscreen computer designed with seniors in mind. Some seniors have never become familiar with computer technology and may be intimidated by computers and/or reluctant to use one. This results in a segment of the population being left out in an increasingly technological world.

We are not ‘high-tech‘ people, we are more ‘user friendly’ and that is exactly what Telikin offers to us. We have tried laptops, we have tried connecting the PC to the large screen TV; Tablet’s well, forget about that as ‘The Little One’ tells me “the screen is too small on those things”, he will have nothing of them! Because of its easy access to the programs that are important to ‘The Little One’, Telikin seems to be a perfect fit for his computer needs.

‘The Little One’ at the Telikin Computer

“The Little One’ at the Telikin Computer

‘The Little One’ at the Telikin Computer

Coming from the caregiver’s point of view, I am constantly searching for items that have a positive impact for ‘The Little One.’ I know that I have found it with the Telikin Computer when he said, “This is really easy to use, I can find my favorite programs just by touching the screen. I am a computer illiterate and this computer opens me up to the 21st century; I find it very easy to use.” For those who know ‘The Little One’, you know compliments from him are sometime hard to come by; I am astonished!

What has impressed me about the Telikin PC was the ease of the set up and how quickly I was able to connect the computer to my wireless network. The computer is user-friendly and easy to maneuver. When it comes to technology and computers, each one of us has different skill levels, what often frustrates people is when something that can appear to be easy, becomes hard. That is not the case with our Telikin Computer; as easy as it was to set up the computer, it was just as easy to get ‘The Little One’ up and running on the device. Of course, those wonderful video instructions were a big help too!

I will leave it to the ‘tech geeks’ to talk about the amount of memory and all ‘that behind the screen stuff ‘ that geeks like to talk about. (By the way, the amount of memory is more than sufficient!) As a caregiver, I want to surround myself with an excellent team to help in the Caregiving process. The computer provides a sense of independence for ‘The Little One’ and many other seniors like him. In essence, the computer is a part of our Caregiving team. As a Caregiver I feel like I am partnering with a company that is focused and understands the needs of seniors, not just another computer company. Telikin understands what we are going through as caregivers and has developed a product that far exceeded my expectation.

I invited you to visit the Telikin senior computer website for more information.

You see…We might have Cancer…but Cancer Does Not Have Us!

The Telikin Brings Computers to the Masses (geardiary.com)
Telikin Touch-PC targets the gray dollar (gizmag.com)
Telikin Partners with firstSTREET to Market the Industry’s Most User-Friendly Home Computer for Baby Boomers and Beyond (prweb.com)
CareConnect Brings Award-Winning Telikin Touch Screen Computers to Senior Living (prweb.com)
‘I Do Not Need Any Help…I Have A StepLadder!’ (thepurplejacket.com)

2 Comments

Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket

Tagged as advocacy, advocate, Bow Tie Guy, Caregiver, Caregiving, LGBT Seniors, Personal computer, Philadelphia

November 8, 2012 · 2:02 pm

Caregiver Burnout: 9 Ways to Avoid It

In celebration of National Caregiver’s Month, I would like to welcome Hannah Munson as our guest blogger to ‘The Purple Jacket” today. Hannah is a recent Social Worker graduate who interned for two years as a caregiver in the Metro Detroit area provides us with some gentle reminders on how to avoid Caregiver Burnout.

While reading Hannah’s terrific post, I am reminded that in order to ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’, we have to take good care of ourselves, too! Thanks Hannah for your contribution today!

Caregiver Burnout: 9 Ways to Avoid It

Caregivers are the kind of people whose profession warrants them to take care of people who are no longer capable of doing it for their selves. However, we must not forget that caregivers are also human beings who also have their own bodies which also need to be taken care of. Every caregiver has to see to it that he or she is always in a good working condition. But, if there are times when he or she begins to experience burnout something must be done right away. The following are some of the ways to avoid burnout:

1. Do not keep everything to yourself.

If you feel like you need someone else who understands your predicament as a caregiver, might as well join a support group. These groups will enable you to express your anxiety, predicament and other problems without the fear of being unfairly judged.

2. Take some time off.

Caregivers must be proactive in telling their superiors that they badly need some time off for themselves. They should not wait for their supervisors to notice their being stressed out before they request for a time-off.

3. Eat nutritious foods.

This would mean that you should not just eat anything that you want. See to it that you are eating foods that will help you become healthy enough to take care of your patients or somebody else.

4. Have enough sleep.

Even if your occupation requires you to work on a graveyard shift, this should not be reason enough for you to deprive yourself of enough sleep. Always find time to have enough sleep to recharge your senses and your entire body.

5. Exercise regularly.

Exercise is one of the most effective ways to prevent burn out. When you take the time to exercise on a regular basis you will always have the chance to unwind. Get focused on your exercise and you will be relieved from stress and anxiety.

6. Find time for your favorite hobby.

Burn out is usually caused by too much exposure to highly stressful situations. One way to relax is to have time for your favorite hobby. Read if you must or indulge in your favorite sports.

7. Be informed.

Sometimes, caregivers experience stress, anxiety or that burn out feeling when they need to take care of a patient who has serious medical condition. Read and search the internet for more information regarding your patient’s condition. This way, you will become better equipped with knowledge on how to deal with your patient.

8. Express yourself.

Some caregivers would prefer to keep their sentiments to themselves because they are too shy to share it with others. Call a trusted friend with whom you can express your feelings. Letting out your emotions will prove to be one great way to relieve yourself.

9. Take time to meditate.

You do not have to go to the gym or to a Yoga class in order to have time to meditate. Just look for a quiet room in your house where you can sit comfortably and concentrate. Meditation allows you to relax and become more focused on your goals and not on the negative things that are happening in your life.

This was a post written by Hannah M. She runs the website ‘How Much Is It’. You can access her website by clicking here. “How Much Is It” a large resource that helps you find the cost on just about anything. Please, Check it out!

If you are interested in being a guest blogger on ‘The Purple Jacket” please send me an email by clicking here

‘We Might Have Cancer…

But Cancer Does Not Have Us!’

Respite care offers an antidote to caregiver burnout (bangordailynews.com)
Caregiver Burnout: Managing the Challenges of Caregiving (prweb.com)
Best Caregiver Blog Awards | Assisted Living Today (assistedlivingtoday.com)
Be A Healthy Caregiver On Blog Talk Radio Tuesday at 1:00 pm (thepurplejacket.com)
Caregiving in the Future: YOUR Future (prweb.com)
Watch Out For Caregiver Burnout (kcet.org)
Workplace forum focuses on caregiver burnout (charlotteobserver.com)

7 Comments

Filed under Caregiving, The Purple Jacket

Tagged as advocacy, advocate, Bow Tie Guy, Caregiver, Caregiver Support, Elderly care, Health, LGBT Seniors, Patient, Senior Health

November 5, 2012 · 4:21 pm

Be A Healthy Caregiver On Blog Talk Radio Tuesday at 1:00 pm

Join us on Tuesday November 6th at 1:00 pm for ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on ‘Blog Talk Radio‘ with our special guest Michael Norfeet, Program Director of the Noble A. McArtor Adult Day Care Center in Fort Lauderdale, FL.

Respite care is essential in the equation on how to Be a Healthy Caregiver. Participation in Adult Day Care often prevents re-hospitalization and and may delay admission to residential long term care. For participants who would otherwise stay at home alone, the social stimulation and recreational activities may improve or maintain physical or cognitive functions. For Caregivers, Adutl Day Care Center provides respite care, enabling caregivers to work or have a break from their Caregiving responsibilities.

Join us on Tuesday November 6th at 1:00 pm for ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio by clicking here