Tag Archives: Health

Every Day: Set An Intention For Yourself.


‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio 

On Tuesday’s ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ Blog Talk Radio Show, my special guest was David Levison from ‘Get2BFit’ in Fort newlogoLauderdale, Fl.  David and I talked at great length about the importance of getting into a routine the centers around our personal health and well-being, along the importance of having a good body image.     Yet one of the comments from David that stood out the most was simply this:  Every day:  set an intention for yourself.

As caregivers, we often take a back seat and never ‘set and intention’ for ourselves: I think David is on to something sunset_yoga_girlshere!    Often time as caregivers, our intentions are completely focused on our Caree.  To set an intention for ourselves seems scary, but…it is the right thing to do.  Setting an intention keeps us on track, allows us to focus on our needs, while making us better caregivers, too!

To listen to ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ featuring Chris MacLellan ‘The Bow Tie Guy’ and ACSM Certified  Trainer,  blogtalkradiologoDavid Levison on ‘Be A Healthy simply click here

Join us every Tuesday at 1:00 pm (est) for ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio.   Upcoming Guests:

December 11th:  David Treece from Treece Financial Group 

December 18th:  Author and Caregiver Rob Harris from Rob Care

If you are interested in being a guest on ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ please email me at Chris@thepurplejacket.com

If you cannot join us live, you can listen to this show, or  any of our earlier episodes of ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ by simply by clicking here

bowtie guy rainbow 2_399 (1)

Remember…We Might Have Cacner...But Cancer Does Not Have us!

 

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What Is The Best Thing For Me, The Caregiver?


TLO The Original Blueberry Pancake

TLO The Original Blueberry Pancake

While making Blueberry Pancakes  recently for ‘The Little One,’ I was reminded of a blog post that I wrote last year right after he completed his round of radiation and chemotherapy treatments.  I wrote this post titled ‘The Tumor Extractor’ for just $19.99!   This is one of my very first blog post  (which is copied below)  where I  reflected on how  hope, love, support and care are the real tumor extractors as well as how humor can play an important role in the recovery process, too.  Now more than one year past the original post,  I took a second look at was written and  I am  amazed at what (still) applies today.  Now I take it one step further, as caregivers, we need to apply these same feelings and emotions to ourselves too!  I have to look myself square in the eye on this one!

Dr. Starcevic with 'The Little One'

Dr. Starcevic with ‘The Little One’

Many of the decisions that we made over the past year or so have been centered around what was best for ‘TLO.’  As Caregivers, we know that decisions are often based on what is best for the Caree and for the most part, we’re OK with it. Yet how often do we as Caregivers say…’What is the best thing for me, the Caregiver? 

It is easy to get lost in the  Caregiving experience and lose sight of self.  I’ve been there!  Trying to regroup in the midst of Caregiving and express  my own needs is by no means an easy task.  For me, expressing my own needs can be scary, well…actually it is scary.  Is it a sign of weakness, or failure or the messiah complex.  Or am I just a rut?   The bottom line is simple, when you put someone else’s needs ahead of your own, you lose sight of self.   It happens before you know it.  The signs are obvious to everyone, yet camouflage to self.

These are some of the critical signs that caregivers need to be aware of  in relation to our own health and well-being. 

I get a gold star: I score high on all five traits!  

Photo Credit: Dr. Wayne Dyer

Photo Credit: Dr. Wayne Dyer

I have been conscious of these issues for quite some time, yet have been immobilized to act on it.   I don’t know why, I just know that it has happened. Over the past number of weeks, ‘TLO’ has been asking me to make an appointment to see my doctor.   “You need to take better care of yourself,’ he demanded!   He has recognized ‘the signs’, inspired me to do something about it,  and finally I acted on it.

The trip to the doctor’s office was not without anxiety.  I had not seen Dr. Scalia since I left Fort Lauderdale in 2007 and much has changed since then. Going in, I knew he would ‘get-it’ as  Dr. Scalia was on the team of Doctors who took care of Father Orlando, so there was immediate comfort and recognition.

Healthy Living is for everyone!

Healthy Living is for everyone!

Yet at the same time, there was quite a bit of reflection on Father Orlando as Dr. Scalia was the attending physician leading up to his transition in 2006.    When he entered the room, I was greeted with a warm smile…There was no need to hold back, he could see the expression on my face.   We talked openly and honestly; it felt great to have someone totally focused on my needs.   He did the battery of tests; EKG was normal, blood pressure normal: the blood work results and follow-up will be later in December.   All the same concerns that I demonstrate for ‘TLO’ are the same concerns that both Dr. Scalia and ‘TLO’ expressed for me.  That’s not a bad thing!

‘To Be A Healthy Caregiver’  does not mean just taking care of your Caree, it caregivinglogomeans taking care of yourself, too.  I’ve taken the first steps and now need to follow through with a Care Plan for myself.  The best  Care Plan available to me is through Caregiving.com.   Denise Brown from Carigiving.com offers a care plan that  focuses on WELL:

Wisdom comes from being attentive, grateful and curious.

Energy comes from my food, my exercise and my physical, mental, spiritual and emotional breaks.

Laughter comes from within myself, from my relationships and from my entertainment.

Love comes from within myself, from my relationships and from my passions,

However, the best care plan will be for not if you don’t use it!

  • I encourage you to visit’s Caregiving.com by simply clicking here to…lots of great information…lots of great people too!

I often forget that my biggest supporter is the one who I care for because he knows me better than anyone else.  By going to the doctor and implementing my care plan through Caregiving.com , I can take better care of myself.  Not every day is a ‘Blueberry Pancake’ Day.  Caring for someone who has a chronic illness is not for the faint of heart.  As caregivers, caring-for-caregiverit is essential that we to  apply  Love, Hope, Support and Care in relation to our needs too.  

If I am going to be a provider of  Love, Hope, Support and Care… Shouldn’t I be a receiver too?  Yet in order to receive, you have to be open and recognize your own personal needs.   For me, looking internally and owning my own feelings and emotions,  then expressing those emotions and feelings will not only make me healthier, it will make be a better caregiver, too!

Below is my post from November 6th, 2011…Thanks for reading it again!

We have all seen those gadgets that they sell on TV… It seems that all those gadgets sell for just $19.99 and better yet, all these gadgets are a must need for every household! As I was preparing waffles for breakfast this morning I came across a new product called ‘The Tumor Extractor’

20111106-082755.jpg

‘The Tumor Extractor’

Simply apply to the area of the tumor and all your troubles will be gone!

‘The Little One’ and I enjoyed a great laugh when I presented him with our new ‘Tumor Extractor’ and just think…we only spent $10,000 on chemo and radiation and could have had this gadget for $19.99! (Of course Monty Python’s Spamalot is playing in the background.) Every cancer patient and caregiver wishes there was something as quick and simple as ‘The Tumor Extractor’ to remove cancer from the body. But what is available to every cancer patient and caregiver is hope, love, support and humor. That is the true Cancer Extractor! While each one of us deals with the reality of cancer in a different way, we want to look on the bright side of life! Yesterday is gone, today is here, not sure about tomorrow. Today we are enjoying our new ‘Tumor Extractor’ even if it will only help us make waffles. It is our hope that lets us withstand stand problems…but it is our beliefs that lets us find solutions.   And remember… ‘Always look on the bright side of life!’

You See…We Might Have Cancer…But Cancer Does Not Have Us! 
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Be A Healthy Caregiver on Blog Talk Radio


Today on ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on  Blog Talk Radio, we had a great conversation with Nancy Allegrezza, RN, Director of Marketing with Telikin Computers.  Telikin is the easy to use, all in one, touchscreen computer designed with seniors in mind. Some seniors have never become familiar with computer technology and may be intimidated by it.  Telikin helps reduce those fears. To listen to our show, click here. (Please pardon the technological problems at the start of the show)

For information on how to purchase a Telikin Computer, please click the icon below.

Join us next Tuesday, November 20th  at 1:00pm (est) for another session on ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ with our guest, Fr. Larry Richardt who is a retired Catholic Priest and Spiritual Director  who also acts as a caregiver for his 95-year-old mother.  Our conversation will focus on how developing a healthy spirituality can play  an important role in being a Healthy Caregiver.   Our November 20th show can be accessed by clicking here.

You see…We Might have Cancer, but Cancer Does Not have us! 

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Caregiver Burnout: 9 Ways to Avoid It


In celebration of National Caregiver’s Month, I would like to welcome Hannah Munson as our guest blogger to ‘The Purple Jacket” today.  Hannah is a recent Social Worker graduate who interned for two years as a caregiver in the Metro Detroit  area provides us with some gentle reminders  on how to avoid Caregiver Burnout.

While reading Hannah’s  terrific post, I am reminded that in order to ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’, we have to take good care of ourselves, too!   Thanks Hannah for your contribution today!

Caregiver Burnout: 9 Ways to Avoid It

Caregivers are the kind of people whose profession warrants them to take care of people who are no longer capable of doing it for their selves. However, we must not forget that caregivers are also human beings who also have their own bodies which also need to be taken care of.  Every caregiver has to see to it that he or she is always in a good working condition.  But, if there are times when he or she begins to experience burnout something must be done right away.  The following are some of the ways to avoid burnout:

1.      Do not keep everything to yourself.

If you feel like you need someone else who understands your predicament as a caregiver, might as well join a support group.  These groups will enable you to express your anxiety, predicament and other problems without the fear of being unfairly judged.

2.     Take some time off.

Caregivers must be proactive in telling their superiors that they badly need some time off for themselves.  They should not wait for their supervisors to notice their being stressed out before they request for a time-off.

3.     Eat nutritious foods.

This would mean that you should not just eat anything that you want.  See to it that you are eating foods that will help you become healthy enough to take care of your patients or somebody else.

4.     Have enough sleep.

Even if your occupation requires you to work on a graveyard shift, this should not be reason enough for you to deprive yourself of enough sleep.  Always find time to have enough sleep to recharge your senses and your entire body.

5.     Exercise regularly.

Exercise is one of the most effective ways to prevent burn out.  When you take the time to exercise on a regular basis you will always have the chance to unwind. Get focused on your exercise and you will be relieved from stress and anxiety.

6.     Find time for your favorite hobby.

Burn out is usually caused by too much exposure to highly stressful situations.  One way to relax is to have time for your favorite hobby.  Read if you must or indulge in your favorite sports.

7.     Be informed.

Sometimes, caregivers experience stress, anxiety or that burn out feeling when they need to take care of a patient who has serious medical condition.  Read and search the internet for more information regarding your patient’s condition.  This way, you will become better equipped with knowledge on how to deal with your patient.

8.    Express yourself.

Some caregivers would prefer to keep their sentiments to themselves because they are too shy to share it with others.  Call a trusted friend with whom you can express your feelings. Letting out your emotions will prove to be one great way to relieve yourself.

9.     Take time to meditate.

You do not have to go to the gym or to a Yoga class in order to have time to meditate.  Just look for a quiet room in your house where you can sit comfortably and concentrate.  Meditation allows you to relax and become more focused on your goals and not on the negative things that are happening in your life.

This was a post written by Hannah M.  She runs the website ‘How Much Is It’.  You can access her website by clicking here.   “How Much Is It” a large resource that helps you find the cost on just about anything.  Please, Check it out!

If you are interested in being a guest blogger on ‘The Purple Jacket” please send me an email by clicking here 

 ‘We Might Have Cancer…

But Cancer Does Not Have Us!’

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Be A Healthy Caregiver On Blog Talk Radio Tuesday at 1:00 pm


Join us on Tuesday November 6th at 1:00 pm for   ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on ‘Blog Talk Radio‘  with our special  guest Michael Norfeet, Program Director of the Noble A. McArtor Adult Day Care Center in Fort Lauderdale, FL.

Respite care is essential in the equation on how to Be a Healthy Caregiver. Participation in Adult Day Care often prevents re-hospitalization and and may delay admission to residential long term care.  For participants who would otherwise stay at home alone, the social stimulation  and recreational activities may improve or maintain physical or cognitive functions. For Caregivers, Adutl Day Care Center provides respite care, enabling caregivers to work or have a break from their Caregiving responsibilities.

Join us on Tuesday November 6th at 1:00 pm for ‘Be A Healthy Caregiver’ on Blog Talk Radio by clicking here

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‘I Do Not Need Any Help…I Have A StepLadder!’


Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. Buddha

As Caregivers, more often than not, we pay better attention to the health and well-being of our caree rather than to ourselves; It just goes with the territory. Just the other day, I found ‘The Little One’ pulling out the stepladder to use to reach the upper cabinets (after all he is 5’5”) in our kitchen. Being the over protective caregiver that I am, I immediately balked at his use of the ladder. “What are you doing,” I said! “What does it look like I am doing, putting away the groceries.” He responded. “Not with that ladder you’re not.” The conversation deteriorated from there…

Safety is a big concern for all of us. One harmless fall can put an entire series of health concerns into play. Yet there is a delicate balance between independence and common sense.

Dr. Starcevic with ‘The Little One’

On Friday, ‘The Little One’ had his quarterly check up with his primary care physician, Dr. Starcevic. Dr. Starcevic continues to be amazed at ‘The Little One’s’ progress and stated…”We should review the pathology report because this is truly amazing!” I was gratified when she spoke about how important I was in the progress that he has made over the past year. Of course, he agreed with her 100%. This conversation really helped boost my ego and confidence.

‘The Little One’ highly respects Dr. Starcevic, and I do too. When ‘The Little One’ was in the middle of his chemo and radiation treatments last year, she was the one who determined that he needed to be in the hospital. Not only did she have him admitted, she put him in a wheel chair and took him to the hospital herself! We will never forget that act of kindness on her part.

The Famous Stepladder

During the conversation with Dr. Starcevic, ‘The Little One’ mentioned that he is “extra careful when he walks because he does not want to fall down and break a hip.” As I listened attentively to his words, I could not resist jumping in. “Why don’t you tell Dr. Starcevic how you like to get on stepladders, “ I said! They both turned to me (with different expressions on their face of course) at the same time: then the real conversation ensued about ‘The Little One’s’ safety. The conversation was lively and to the point; it is harder for ‘The Little One’ to dispute Dr. Starcevic than it is me!

Every caregiver wants to ensure that their caree is 100% safe. While I know I cannot be at home 24/7, I also know that I cannot control what ‘The Little One’ does when I am not home. (Like I can really control him when I am at home!) I can hear ‘The Little One’ saying, ‘I can put those cans on that top shelf, I’ve been doing it this way my entire life;’ I get that response and respect it too.

Even as we age, each one of us has that indestructible opinion of ourselves. We do not want to lose our independence, but we also do not want to lose our independence through a fall that is preventable. Sometimes we just need a different messenger, and sometimes we have to realize that our message needs to be tapered. In this case, we learned the meaning of both. Thank goodness for the wonderful work of Dr. Starcevic!

You see…We might have Cancer…But Cancer does not have us!

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Vote Yes For Online Communties


Purple Jacket Readers Note: This is a formal academic essay submitted on ‘The Purple Jacket’ by…

Chris MacLellan, September 8, 2012, Short Essay #1: Vote Yes for Online Communities, COML 509 Professor Alexander Kuskis, Gonzaga University

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Communication takes place in a myriad of ways and modern technology has certainly changed the way society interacts. What would communication be to a deaf person without the ability to read lips or understand sign language? Smoke singles for the Indians; Morris Code? There is an endless list of communication models, yet the common denominator in all models of communication is some form of human interaction. Modern technology has made the world smaller, creating numerous opportunities for people to come together share resources, while forming international support for any one particular cause. This essay will demonstrate the importance of online communities and their positive effects on sub-groups within society.

Anyone who has been a caregiver knows that outside support is an important part of the Caregiving process. Support can come in many different forms: emotional, physical, and financial just to name a few. To be a healthy caregiver, outside support is essential to the physical and mental well-being of all parties involved in the Caregiving experience. According to the National Family Caregiving Association, “More than 65 million people, 29% of the U.S. population, provide care for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend during any given year and spend an average of 20 hours per week providing care for their loved one.” (National Family Caregiving Alliance, 2009) Many of those 65 million people hold down full-time jobs; Working caregivers often sacrifice leisure time, while suffering stress-related illnesses. Caregivers multi-task, are pressed for time, and always searching for that proper balance in life. One way that family caregivers find care, comfort, and support is through online communities.

Photo Credit: Caregiving.com

On-line communities are essential for caregivers. Caregivers use online communities to navigate the home health system, not only for their loved one’s physical and emotional needs, but for their personal support system as well. Denise Brown who leads one of the most popular online Caregiving communities, Caregiving.com said, “Online communities are open 24/7–you can connect when it’s convenient for you. You also can control the type of support you receive–chats, online support groups, blogging, simply reading and lurking. Online communities offer so many options for how and when you connect. They are a great reminder that you aren’t alone, that others understand and know what it’s like.” (Brown, 2012)

Online communities can be as diverse as your neighborhoods. The same can be said for the online community at Caregiving.com. This form of Computer Mediated Communication (CMC) offers a variety of subgroups within the Caregiving genre as Caregiving comes in many different forms. (I.e. Caring for parents, caring for a spouse, caring for a partner, caring for children, caring for sibling) “According to social network scholars, CMC is more than capable of supporting strong, multiple ties between people.” (Thurlow, Lengel & Tomic, 2004) This is where Caregiving.com is at its best. Caregivers are so focused on taking care of others; caregivers often lose sight of self. The Caregiving.com community provides an immediate outlet for all caregivers to help escape loneliness,share resources while collaborating on issues that caregivers face on a daily basis. “For the family members of older people, online social networks can provide a bit of relief.” (Clifford, 2009) Simply put, on-line communities provide the assurance of knowing that you are not alone.

Photo Credit: Pinterest

The very nature of Caregiving implies that someone is the recipient of care. However, how do you describe the person you care for? In 2009, this topic came up for discussion on Caregiving.com as the common description used for those receiving care was ‘care recipient’. One of the members pointed out that the label ‘care recipient’ did not accurately reflect her Caregiving role with her mother. Like any other community who constructively deals with an issue it faces, the community at Caregiving.com collaborated on what the proper term to use for those for whom are cared. “Successful communities evolve to keep pace with the changing needs of members and owners.” (Kim, 2000) Through discussion and subsequent polling of the online community, the term (and new word) ‘caree’ was developed and instituted on Caregiving.com. This type of collaboration creates healthy communities because a voice was heard, action was taken and results were achieved. Everyone felt a part of the process and now the word ‘Caree’ is often heard throughout the network of caregivers.

Photo Credit: thirdage.com

Human nature expresses the need for some form of personal contact with another. While Face-to-Face (F2F) contact is preferable, that is not practical for caregivers who often cannot leave their caree. For the caregiver, “We have also seen how large number of people have in fact begun to establish complex arrangements of long-standing, meaningful social relationships online.” (Thurlow et al., 2004 p.99) On-line communities provides a 24/7 outlet that F2F support groups cannot provide. Having the ability to connect with someone walking in the same footsteps, provides immeasurable care and comfort to a stressed out caregiver. During the 16 years of existence of Caregiving.com, strong personal relationships have been built through this online community.

Photo Credit:thirdage.com

Denise Brown started her online Caregiving journey with Caregiving.com in 1996. Like many healthy online communities, Caregiving.com recognized a need, then put a plan in place to meet the needs of the community of caregivers. Online communities are more than just a niche market; they are communities of real people facing real problems. Through the diversity of online communities, there is unity and a common bond because everyone shares the same footprint. However, the best part about healthy online communities as exemplified by Caregiving.com is that everyone is your friendly neighbor.

References

National Family Caregiving Alliance. (2009). Caregiving statistics. Retrieved from http://www.thefamilycaregiver.org/who_are_family_caregivers/Care_giving_statsitics. cfm

Brown, D. (2012, September 7). Interview by C. MacLellan [Personal Interview].

Thurlow, C., Lengel, L., & Tomic, A. (2004). Computer mediated communication: Social interaction and the internet. (p. 100). London: SAGE.

Clifford, S. (2009, June 2). Online, ‘a reason to keep on going’. The New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/02/health/02face.html?_r=1&pagewanted=print

Kim, A. J. (2000). Community building on the web. (p. 21). Berkeley: Peachpit Press.

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The ‘Price’ of CareGiving


I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.  Mother Teresa 
 

As Caregivers we are often put in a position where we have to choose between what’s good for our self and what is  good for the person for whom we are caring.  If you are a caregiver like me (and I bet you are), you are always putting the needs of your caree first.   Placing someones else’s needs in front of your own can be difficult for some people to understand; but not for the caregiver! In our me first society, and in many business circles, decisions like this are frowned on and often not understood.

To be a healthy caregiver, we have to learn how to live life in the solutions of our Caregiving experience; not solely in the problems of our Caregiving experience.  By living a life focused on solutions, we live our life with clarity, hope and love. Focusing solely on problems, we live in fear, worry and despair.  Focusing on solutions is not only a  healthy mindset for caregivers, it is a healthy mindset for everyone.  

I have had to learn this lesson the hard way. After almost 10 years of Caregiving,  I started to focus more  on the problem, not the solutions. By focusing only on the problems, I lost myself and just created more problems in return.   Losing yourself complicates Caregiving.  While the love for your caree is strong and sealed, you have to love yourself first in order to solidify your inner peace and purpose.  Your life can’t be that of your caree!

Photo Credit: The Purple Jacket

The price of Caregiving is not fixed, it is different for everyone. But if you don’t recognize the personal cost in Caregiving, you can lose yourself in the process, and that cost is priceless.   What are the signs of losing yourself: weight gain, loss of focus/clarity, financial stress, spiritual uncertainty, your own purpose, professional satisfaction, detachment just to name a few.

For people who care, this is a conundrum. We are always asking ourselves…”Did I do enough; could I have done something different.”  

Yet what we might ask ourselves is…

Are we always looking at the problem, and not the solution? 

While I do not intend to lose  focus on the care of ‘The Little One’,  I am starting to refocus on caring for myself. This has been a revelation of sorts because ‘The Little One’  has been asking me (telling, demanding, requesting, you get the picture) to take better care of myself. Yet immersed in this care and unwilling to listen, reality has come full force.  How can I be a good caregiver, if I can’t take better care of myself?

Photo Credit: The Purple Jacket

It’s simple:

Eat Less… Move More

Focus on Solutions…Not Problems

Never quit caring… Especially for yourself  

You see…We might have Cancer…

but Cancer does not have us!

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Can You Be a Healthy Caregiver?


YES YOU CAN be a healthy caregiver!

Join our TWITTER  #carefit chat tonight at 8 pm ET with 

 

Denise Brown @caregiving 

       and

Chris MacLellan @thebowtieguy

Find us on Twitter TONIGHT August 20th 8:00 PM  #carefit       
 We’ll discuss how to stay healthy as you care.
 HOW TO GET FROM
 

THERE

HERE

TO

 

and maintain a healthy lifestyle  while you care !

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On Borrowed Time?


 

I decided to try something different this evening with my blog post… I am using Dragon Naturally Speaking to post my blog this evening.  I have come to the realization that I am much better at speaking than I am at typing: this just might be a better way for me to communicate my thoughts, feelings and emotions as I moved forward with ‘The Purple Jacket.”  So far so good!

Jewish Halo

This past week,  The Little One had his appointment with the oncologist. What was amazing about this appointment was that I did not feel the need, nor did I have the time to go to the appointment with him.   Now the ‘Mother Hen’ in me worried all morning about the whereabouts of “The Little One” yet  I knew deep down inside me that could handle the oncologist, handle the drive down to the office and be independent.  He did not get to be 81 without some form of independence!

Just as is the primary care doctor was encouraged at his progress, so was the oncologist.  It just so happens that the oncologist and the primary care doctor share the same office space;  this convenient for sharing information between staff and doctors.  The other benefit of this location in that the chemotherapy treatments is on the site, too! This  setup has made easier, not only for “The Little One”, but for all the patients that these physicians see on a regular basis.

The oncologist continued to spread good cheer,  good health and well-being for “The Little One.”  As I mentioned in my last blog post, the oncologist had projected 3 or 4 months to live after the initial diagnosis and subsequent treatments.  While he is pleased to be proven wrong, statistically speaking, the cure rate for esophageal cancer is one of the lowest there is.  If we are going solely by the book, then 3 to 4 months is correct.

It is understandable why a diagnosis like this would be attached to such a short lifespan.  That being said,  we forged ahead mindful of the pitfalls, yet striving for the best possible results.  We never want to rule out hope!

 I guess what amazes me the most about this visit to the oncologist is not the fact that we all recognize that the little one has far exceeded anyone’s expectations; it’s why is the doctor felt like he has to end this positive visit with the words…”You know you’re on borrowed time!”

Photo Credit: Pinterest

Granted I was not there for this conversation, and I have no reason to doubt what “The Little One” has told me in regards to this conversation.  Yet, I am not sure what the purpose of comments like this does for a patient, for a caregiver or for the physician themselves?  Throughout this whole ordeal, we have taken a positive approach to dealing with the effects of cancer. We could sulked, we could  have  played the blame game, we could have gone into denial… However, what good would that have done for either one of us?  That’s just like saying…”you know we’re on borrowed time.”  

I do not claim to be a doctor, I do not claim to be a clinician, but I do believe that I understand how a positive outlook and healthy communication  can have a soothing and  healing effect on the mind, on the body, and of the spirit when dealing with critical health issues.  When you think about it,  we are all on borrowed time, yet does a cancer patient really need to be reminded of that?

Photo Credit: Pinterst

The healing power of body, mind and spirit plays such an important role in overcoming physical (and mental) illness.   To use a sports metaphor, the best defense is usually a good offense.  The best way to deal with a diagnosis of cancer is to be as realistic and honest as possible.  Our best offense was to plunge full force  When I look at this comment from the oncologist in this light, I can understand it.  Yet to presuppose a diagnosis without the addition of hope, only leads us to despair.  Reality is painful enough, more so without the effects of hope!

Sometimes Just Being There is all we need

Through this experience, I am convinced that one of the key tools in transmitting hope and reality,  is the ability to be an empathetic communicator.    Calmly… Empathy transmits hope and reality.  I don’t think that there is anymore that we can ask for when dealing with the stark reality of Cancer or any other disabling illness.

You see…We Might Have Cancer…But Cancer Does Not Have Us! 

Photo Credit: ‘The Bow-Tie-Guy”

 

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